


The Boy At The Hart of Everything

by cassandra_wh0



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Josh exists, Josh is still older than Maya lmao, Lucas is HAWT, Maya Hart-centric, Maya is Self Sabotaging, Minor Lucas Friar/Riley Matthews, Riley is annoying but trying her best, Self Confidence Issues, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sundance wants a piece of Penelope's American Pie;), hahurr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassandra_wh0/pseuds/cassandra_wh0
Summary: Maya Hart is a beautiful teenage girl just about to enter her senior year of highschool! She has been friends with Riley Matthews for her entire life and supports her innocent (and slightly dimwitted) friend in all of her adventures. Maya even gave up her own happiness for Riley when she dropped out of the love triangle! (This is after Girl Meets Texas). Now she has gone back to the wreckless Maya that her friends know and love, but what will happen when Lucas won't let her put herself last again?
Relationships: Farkle Minkus/Isadora Smackle, Lucas Friar/Maya Hart, Lucas/Maya, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Riley Matthews/Farkle Minkus
Comments: 13
Kudos: 50





	1. Elastic Hart

Song Suggestion: The Less I Know The Better, Tame Impala

The bus ride back from the Ski Lodge was more than painful for Maya. Sure she’d agreed to the long game with Uncle Boing, but who knew how long it would be until he forgot about that and came home introducing everyone to his new college girlfriend? The thought was unsettling enough. Even when Maya was settling she wasn’t being put first. She wondered deep down if Lucas had been considering her all that time. After all, she had taken away any choice that he’d have had to make to begin with. She wondered if he’d say, “Miss Hart, I choose you. I want to ask you if you will be my girlfriend,” or whatever charming thing would come out of his Texan mouth. Instead she’d told him to go to Riley, be with Riley. It was Riley all along. 

It was Riley who Lucas was sitting next to on the school bus back to Abigail Adams High School the next day. Riley sat in the window seat and pointed at birds as she spoke while Lucas sat in the aisle seat with a vaguely amused expression on his face. Seated in the aisle seat across from the pair, Maya noticed their interlocked fingers as Riley went on and on about her dreams of being the president of Mars and discovering the first unicorn. Zay sat next to Maya with his earbuds deep in his ears as he tried to ignore the conversation. He glanced over at Maya, grinning as she rolled her eyes in Riley’s direction. Totally realistic, right? Zay mouthed. Maya thought it was possible. If anyone could achieve it by means of determination alone, it would be Riley. She usually ended up getting what she wanted. Hell, she got Maya almost a decade earlier. She even managed to get away with calling her “Peaches.”

The two were polar opposites. Maya had realized this when she pretended to be Riley for a day. Everything was “lollipops and rainbows and stuff that rhymes with that” whereas Maya was something between an emo and a hoodlum in Riley’s eyes. Maya had thought she’d had Riley all figured out. The one thing she got wrong was Riley’s relationship with Lucas.  
Maya shook the thought from her head. She’d already spent the duration of the previous night hung up on it, only managing to fall asleep in the early hours of the next day (and even then falling victim to nightmares upon nightmares of Texas). Maya yawned. She was still very tired. She tapped Zay’s shoulder and he removed one of his earbuds. “Wake me up if you have to use the bathroom or something, ‘kay?”

She reclined her seat ever-so-slightly and popped in her earbuds, clicking on a playlist meant to be relaxing and closing her eyes, trying to finally get a decent wink of sleep. Still, something was nagging her despite her seemingly clear mind. She felt two eyes almost burning holes into the side of her face. She opened her eyes and, surely enough, her eyes met Lucas’s beautiful green eyes as the first rays of the sun cascaded on his chestnut brown hair and shimmering tan skin. Though their eyes met, he did not look away. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Maya rushed off of the bus with a sense of urgency that had not gone unnoticed by her friends. Lucas had seen her hand twitching anxiously as they turned onto the road to the high school. He’d noticed her bouncing her legs, her knees turned towards the aisle, but away from him. The instant he looked away from her, when Riley’s hand grabbed his arm and he was forced to acknowledge her, Maya was up and off of the bus, the smell of coconuts and honey still hanging in the air as a glowing streak of blonde hair flashed by in the corner of Lucas’s eye. 

Nobody heard from Maya for a few days, that is, until the end of the weekend when the kids all returned to school bright and early on Monday morning. Maya showed up 10 minutes later in ripped mom jeans, chunky heel timberland boots, and a nirvana shirt beneath her oversized yellow flannel. She stared at the floor as she walked in and avoided a pair of green eyes that she felt on her as she sat in her seat.  
Riley turned her entire body to look at Maya, lacking subtlety as always. She smiled with her entire face. “Peaches! You’re here!” she exclaimed. “You didn’t come to the bay window or text me back!”

Maya sighed. “Yeah. I was tired,” she replied frankly. She turned to face the front of the classroom and locked eyes with Cory Matthews. “You gonna tell us another story, Matthews, or can I go to lunch early?”

“It’s 8:15 in the morning,” Farkle muttered. 

“Shut up,” Maya retorted, unmoving. 

Cory talked about the industrial revolution for a good portion of the period, but Maya struggled to focus what with Lucas’s eyes burning holes in the back of her head. She wouldn’t turn and acknowledge him, even as he kicked the leg of her chair and twirled a long lock of her hair around his finger. It wasn’t long before Matthews was back to his shenanigans. “Do you guys see how this has impacted the way that we live today,” Cory asked the class. 

Farkle raised his hand enthusiastically, nearly jumping out of his seat. Cory ignored the boy, glancing around for an answer from one of the less talkative students. No one else volunteered. He turned to the board and scribbled nearly illegibly in blue chalk. “Remember what we talked about in middle school? When I taught you about the world 100 years ago and Pluto not being a planet?”

Farkle nodded, his hand still in the air. 

Cory sighed, turning back to the students. “Somebody read that?” He pointed at Lucas. “You. Read.”

"What is history,” Lucas read, finally taking his eyes off of Maya’s blonde hair. 

“What is history? I keep forgetting,” Cory said. 

Maya raised her hand, “Irrelevant!”

“Wrong,” Cory retorted. He paced in front of the desks, smirking. “It seems like you’ve all forgotten what I taught you in middle school...Which brings me to your assignment for tonight: Come back to class tomorrow with something that represents you and your definition of history.” He put his hand up, silencing the groans of his students. “Class dismissed.”

Maya stood up and placed her notebook into her backpack before slinging the bag onto her shoulder. Suddenly, her foot got caught on the edge of her desk and a strong arm found its way around her body, the other hand on her waist. Maya recognized the husky smell of the cologne wafting to her nose. She looked over her shoulder and saw Lucas, his face blank as he looked into her eyes. “Maya,” he muttered, still holding on. The classroom had cleared by now, save for Zay and Farkle who waited in the doorway. Maya felt her cheeks grow hot as she cleared her throat. 

“Thanks, Lucas,” she said, squirming from his touch and hustling past the two boys in the doorframe. Switching out her books for her next class, she could hear Riley and Smackle approaching quickly. She turned, smiling at the two girls as if nothing was wrong. 

“Smackle wants to come to one of our sleepovers, Petunia!” Riley announced, grinning from ear to to ear as she twirled in her knee length purple skirt and off the shoulder blouse, nearly rolling her ankle in the process. 

Smackle nodded. “I think it would be an informative experience and provide insight into the life of the average teenage girl,” she explained. 

Maya chuckled. “There’s nothing normal about Miss Riley Matthews.” She hugged Riley and waved at Smackle. “I need to go reserve my spot in the art room, but I can’t wait for the sleepover. I promise it’ll be fun Smackle. You’ll love it!” 

She turned on her heel swiftly, not paying attention as she crashed full speed into a strong chest. She looked up at this person and, of course it had to be Lucas. “Shit,” she grumbled. She stepped back when she realized that she was still flush against his chest. He was well dressed as always in his cerulean blue cotton t-shirt, distressed dark blue skinny jeans, and white sneakers. “Sorry.” 

She stepped to the side to pass him, but he caught her arm and pulled her into the janitor’s closet, turning on the overhead light and saying, “Maya, we need to talk.”


	2. A Game For Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is struggling with his feelings for Maya. It's becoming difficult to ignore them as he begins to realize that he might not be able to play the guy Riley wants him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mildly sexual situations: Lucas gets, um...excited??? ;_; and Lucas imagines Maya pleasuring herself >_<  
> Riley is uncomfortable and rightfully so.   
> Maya is quite the artist.

_**Song Suggestion: Longshot, Catfish and the Bottlemen**_  
“Maya, we need to talk,” Lucas stated, crossing his arms. Maya was obviously unentertained, inadvertently pouting with furrowed brows and hands on her hips. Lucas couldn’t help but admire her as she stood in front of him for the first time in days. He imagined a world where he could run his hand through her long golden hair without repercussions: he wanted to make that a reality. Maya was so close now that Lucas felt his breath hitch at the sight of her rolling her eyes. “You’ve been acting distant.”

“No, Lucas. I’m tired. I was sleeping all weekend.”

“I wasn’t talking about last weekend, Maya. But sure, we should talk about you leaving the bus the way you did. What’s up with that?” he asked. 

“I wanted to get home and catch my mom before her shift.”

“You’re lying.”

“And so what if I am,” Maya countered boldly. 

Lucas frowned. “I thought you’d be tired of lying by now, after all these years.” He leaned back against the wall of the closet. “I am.”

Maya scoffed. “Not everything is related to you, Lucas.”

“Lucas,” Lucas repeated in disbelief. “Not Ranger Rick, Hopalong, Bucky McBoing-Boing?” He nodded slowly. “You’re distancing yourself from me.”

“Obviously,” Maya blurted. “I don’t want to be near you! I’ve never wanted to be near you! Do you think it was easy lying to everyone and myself for all these years when every day you’ve been forced into every corner of my life?” Lucas looked away. “Oh, what? Is the truth too much for you?”

The two were silent for a moment. Maya reached for the doorknob and Lucas placed his hand over hers. He was careful of the next words that he said. “I just want to make sure that you’re not putting yourself last again,” Lucas stated. 

“I’m happy, Sundance. You don’t need to worry about me,” Maya replied, smiling sweetly. “You don’t ever have to worry about me...I’ve gotta go to class. I think you should consider doing the same,” she suggested, twisting the knob and showing herself out of the closet.

_But I always will_ , Lucas thought. 

The rest of the day was tedious for Lucas. His mind kept wandering to Maya (the blonde beauty). Her long wavy hair rippled like waves in his mind as he imagined her in a long white dress staring up at him with her big blue eyes. He began to wonder what Maya had meant when she said that he wouldn’t have to worry about her and began to overanalyze. During chemistry, Maya sat across the room from him and partnered with Zay instead of him. She hadn’t cast a glance in his direction for the duration of the class (which he knew because his eyes hadn’t left her). He missed the sound of her lilting voice as she sang songs with an over the top Texan accent and the way he could never predict which nickname she would call him next. He missed the time when she would approach him out of the blue and say, “Ha-hurr!” He had never said outright that he liked Maya, but he thought it had been clear since that day on the Subway that it had been her. It was always her. Lucas raised his hand and asked to go to the water fountain to get out of his head. He walked past Zay and Maya’s desk on the way out of the classroom. 

The cold water of the fountain did little to shake Maya’s face from his mind. He saw her in the darkness when he blinked. He reasoned that he thought of her most when it was dark outside and when he closed his eyes because it had been the darkest night he’d ever seen back at the campfire when it was just the two of them. By the fireside, Maya was the only thing he could make out. She looked like an angel and he had to wonder what chapstick the lips of an angel wore. He wanted to know how it felt.

...but he’d stopped that night. Or maybe Maya had. Lucas couldn’t decipher the look in her eyes that night. It was a cross between fear and, dare he say lust? The thought sent the blood rushing to Lucas’s cheeks as he imagined Maya thinking about him in her room in her pajamas in the middle of the night. He wondered if she had ever been touched. He had to wonder how an angel tasted like. He wanted to know the way an angel felt to the touch. 

_Shit._ Lucas thought. _I’m such a coward._ He glanced down at his pants and covered the crotch with his hands before rushing into the bathroom to wait it out. _Look at me. In the bathroom like some sort of pervert. Back in Texas I would’ve had any girl throwing herself at me just from that stupid story about me delivering a horse._ He smiled, to himself. _Maya wasn’t impressed by that story._ Then he remembered telling Riley the story purely for the sake of passing the time and keeping her as quiet as possible. _Riley loved that story. It’s exactly the me she wants._

Lucas did like Riley, but he had figured out at the same time that Maya had that the relationship was more familial. He wanted to protect Riley from all of the bad things in the world, things Riley was not mentally prepared for. Suddenly it felt like Lucas himself was one of the bad things: Riley was embarrassed to even hold Lucas’s hand, more or less kiss him on the cheek, which begged the question of whether she was ready to date anyone at all. 

____________________________________________________________________________

The end of the day hadn’t come quick enough for Lucas. He met Riley at her locker as she packed her backpack. She glanced back at the sound of his footsteps and resumed packing. “Lucas, I don’t like the way you look at her.”

“Look at who?”

“The “blonde beauty”,” she sneered. “Maya? The girl you spent half of the year considering dating? But then you chose me? But now you’re looking at her like a purple unicorn.”

“A purple unicorn?” Lucas repeated. “Do you hear yourself right now?” He sighed and took Riley’s hand. “Look, I’m with you at the end of the day. Right now we’re here together.”

Riley smiled, seemingly convinced. “You’re right. You chose me after all of that,” she said, not necessarily to anyone in particular. 

_There was no choice to make,_ Lucas thought. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

_**(Song of this section) Watermelon Sugar, Harry Styles** _

Lucas felt a bit of guilt searching for Maya after coddling Riley, but he had to see her and talk to her about...well, that he didn’t know. Maybe he was just rushing through the hallway in hopes of seeing her face regardless of whether it bore a scowl or the sweet smile she had reserved for him. 

Maya ended up, of course, being in the art room working on a painting that she’d started before the class trip. Lucas leaned in the door frame and watched as Maya danced around the room with her earbuds in. She whipped her wild blonde hair around in circles and swayed her hips. He noted the paint on her forearms and smirked. He walked up to her cautiously before placing a hand on her shoulder, causing her to almost leap two feet in the air. He laughed at the bewildered expression on her face as blood rushed across her pale cheeks and to her ears. “God, Heehaw! You almost gave me a heart attack!” she yelled. 

“Now, we wouldn’t want that to happen,” Lucas replied, tipping an imaginary hat with the slightest of smiles. Maya smiled back at him and looked away fretfully. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Lucas. You know that,” she chided. 

“I know,” he replied. “But the school closes in less than an hour and I figured there’s no better way to spend time than with my–” He stepped to the side in front of her. “You. Maya.”

Maya shook her head. “I have to work on my painting, Lucas. It’s due soon and I need to focus on something right now,” she admitted.

“Then focus on me,” Lucas suggested, stepping closer to Maya. She stepped forward, challenging him. “You’ve got my full attention, Miss Hart.” Come closer. Maya put her hand over his heart, feeling the quickness it thumped with. She gulped and stepped back. “Fine. Then you can at least show me what you’re working on?”

“No way,” Maya sputtered, placing both hands on his chest to lead him away from her canvas. The two wrestled playfully for a moment, their arms tangling naturally as they laughed at one another. Lucas tickled Maya’s waist and she let out a wild cackle he’d never heard before. “Lucas! Stop! I-It’s not done yet!” Lucas stopped his dancing fingers, stilling his hands on Maya’s waist and pulling her flush against him before swiftly snaking one hand up to her cheek. “Lucas…” Maya muttered uneasily. He leaned in and Maya felt her self control slipping as the space between them thinned. She reached back towards the desk with her paints. 

Suddenly, Lucas felt something swipe down the center of his lip. He opened his eyes and saw Maya backing away from him. He traced the line of his lips and looked at his fingertip to see blue paint. “I can’t, Lucas,” Maya said. “You’re dating Riley and–”

Lucas winced and placed his hands on his hips. “Is that the only reason why? You picked for me because of her,” he inquired. 

“No!” Maya blurted, rubbing her arm. “I’m in the long game, Lucas.”

“In the long game?” Lucas repeated. “With who?”

Maya sighed. “It’s Josh. We’re in the long game.”


	3. Falling From Cloud 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya is trying to be the version of herself that everyone else wants her to be. Well, everyone but Lucas :)

Chapter 3: The Purple Unicorn  
_***Lucas’s POV***_  
_**Song of this Section) The Loser, Zach Farache**_

I felt stupid suddenly. I felt stupid for being too much of a coward to tell Maya I liked her after all this time. I felt stupid for being too afraid of hurting Riley’s feelings. I felt stupid for expecting Maya to wait for me to be ready and for expecting no one else to like her just the way I did.

I should’ve known at the Ski Lodge that this was my last opportunity to choose without any prior dedication to any one girl. I should’ve known that Josh would come on the trip. I still don’t know who invited him, but hell if it doesn’t seem like the inadvertent genius of _Riley _. I felt stupid for thinking that Maya would waste her time being led on a string when there was another guy with eyes for her, a guy that she’d always adored.__

__Standing in front of Maya as she leaned back against a desk, I was at a crossroad. I shook my head at my own idiocy and turned away. “The _long _game,” I muttered beneath my breath, pacing. “Just like that.” Maya had chosen _Josh _before she’d even told me to choose Riley. Just like that._____ _

___________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _

_______***Maya’s POV*** _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______Lucas shouldn’t be acting like this. He shouldn’t even be here. He should be in his house watching a western movie or calling Pappy Joe or spending time with his _girlfriend _. My best friend. _His _girlfriend. Instead he was getting worked up over my long game, a game he wasn’t prepared to be a part of. I’d known this when I’d told him to choose Riley. I’d known this when I sat down on the bay window of the Ski Lodge with Josh. He was everything I’d ever wanted. Maybe he still is._____ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is that what you want?” Lucas inquired, whirling back around to face me, his eyes cold. “Josh?” His voice ripped me from my innermost thoughts. I smiled as happily as I could manage and nodded. My voice barely managed to croak from my throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I knew I hadn’t convinced him. The look in his eyes shifted to one of determination as the corner of Lucas’s lip twitched into a bitter smile. “I don’t know why I’m so surprised,” he chuckled. “We’ve always lied to one another...but _this time _I know and...it’s easier to say that you’re lying to me right now,” he confessed. We stood in silence for a moment before he smiled and tipped an imaginary hat just the way as he’d walked in before leaving the room, his scent still hanging in the air like a noose.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________**(Song of this section) Buttercup, Jack Stauber** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Riley went to sleep that night with a lot of her mind. After all the time she’d spent in the triangle, it was one of the first nights of restful sleep she’d had in a while. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t have been alright if Lucas hadn’t picked her. Even if Lucas thought he picked Maya, he would be picking Riley in a way. After all, Maya had been acting like Riley ever since she pretended to be her during class. Maya wasn’t a goodie two shoes. She wasn’t a straight A student or nice or interested in nice guys. Riley knew Maya._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________I know Maya _Riley thought, glancing at the bay window as a wave of doubt passed over her. She turned on her air diffuser and added three drops of lavender before putting her hair into a low ponytail. She nodded at her ceiling. _I know Maya _, she said confidently. Even if Maya didn’t know what she wanted, Riley knew what was best for her.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It was them against the world, together forever. If Maya was with Lucas their friendship with one another would implode and flip on its head. Just like Maya and Riley were meant to be friends, Riley and Lucas were meant to grow old together and live a normal life with no problems._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________There were plenty of inaccuracies in the futures they’d imagined during ski lodge. Lucas and Maya being the power couple of the world for starters. Riley couldn’t imagine a power couple that couldn’t make it through an exchange without some form of an insult disguised as a friendly banter. What she had with Lucas was what dreams were made of. They would have the fairy tale ending that every girl, and especially Riley dreamed of. They would be just as great as her parents. Maya would realize that this was all for the best eventually._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Huckleberry Bond and ThE BoMb _Riley thought, rolling her eyes as she rolled onto her side. Just the thought of it made her laugh. “Destroy the purple cat,” she muttered aloud.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________If Riley were going to be any animal she would certainly be a unicorn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Lucas laid awake that night, staring at his ceiling as he thought about all of the decisions that had led up to where he was now. He had no clue that Maya lay awake in her own bed thinking of him as well. He had no clue that she traced her fingers across her body, eyes tightly clenched, imagining that it was his touch as she muted her voice with a pillow. Instead, his mind wandered to the thought of Maya with Josh. He imagined her smiling at Josh with her beautiful white teeth and smooth pink lips as he held her at his hip. Then his mind wandered to Josh’s hands tracing the curves of Maya’s thin waist as he kissed his way down her body, savoring the sweet lilt of her voice as his lips brushed over her most sensitive spots._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It hurt to think that Maya could choose so easily. That is, if it had ever really been a choice for her. If Riley hadn’t revealed her secret, would Maya have ever remotely acted on her feelings? Lucas remembered the way she withdrew when he took her face in his hands. He wondered if this was why Maya had withheld the future she’d imagined with Josh at the Lodge: perhaps it’d become clear to her _then _that Josh was the one she’d always wanted.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________But if that were the case, she would have to tell him herself and full heartedly before he accepted it. He would die before he let her put herself last again. Maybe that was his bias talking or his rushing heart, but he wanted her to ruin him if it meant that they would be together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________**(Song of this section) Fall In Love, Phantogram** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Maya woke up with a deceptive amount of energy the next day after falling asleep still hugging her own body. She slid her feet into her house slippers and trudged to her closet, picking out black jeans, a blue cardigan, and a white tarot card t-shirt before pulling out a grey bralette and a matching lace thong. She carried these clothing articles into the bathroom and laid all of the garments out on whatever flat surface she could find. She turned on the shower, making sure the water was hot enough to steam her clothing before adding a bit of cold water and stepping into the tub. She brushed her teeth in the shower, effectively trimming her morning routine by five minutes. After getting dressed in the bathroom, she grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and picked up her backpack before heading out of the door and on her way to school._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The trip felt shorter this morning, much to Maya’s disappointment. She was not excited to go to school and see Lucas’s face again. She’d already seen it before she’d fallen asleep and her dream the night before. After walking the mile long stretch to the school, Maya walked into the building of the Abigail Adams Highschool and straight to the squash courts where she knew Smackle and Farkle were practicing. The two were frozen as they stared up at the ceiling of the court. Maya walked up behind them and looked up for a moment before speaking up. “What are we looking at?” she asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Farkle glanced over his shoulder at her. “Oh. Hey Maya! We were playing and the ball got stuck in the rafters.” Smackle pointed up at the small ball. “We only brought one to school and we can’t get into the storage locker.” Maya could tell it was lodged. She grinned and turned to Farkle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I can help,” she offered, smacking him on the back. “Boost me up and I can get it.” Farkle looked to Smackle, who shrugged and avoided his eyes, before leaning forward and letting Maya stand on his back. She then stepped onto his shoulders before hopping slightly, catching a beam with her fingertips and swinging her legs to wrap around it. She positioned herself upright and slowly inched her way down the beam with the strength of her forearms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Maya!” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Maya’s heart froze, but she kept moving. She refused to look down at Lucas. She could hear his disapproval._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Lucas watched as Maya scooched her way down the beam and closer to the squash ball. He couldn’t help but notice the way her crotch ground against the beam, ignoring the sudden tightness in his pants as he watched her fretfully. This was another level of risky for Maya. “Maya! What are you doing?” he yelled, hearing a gasp come from behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Riley scurried up from behind him and shouted, “PEACHES! Peaches get down from there!” Maya was just in front of the squash ball by now. It was just beyond her fingertips as she reached out for it, ignoring the protests of her friends below. “Maya, don’t lean so far!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But Maya leaned further and with an unintended amount of force, sending her surging forward. Her legs slipped from the beam. She grasped for something to hold on to and the tips of her fingers grazed the squash ball with enough for it to dislodge it. Maya heard a collective gasp as she felt her center of gravity flip above her head. She was falling. Just as quickly, it ended. Everything became black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Lucas cradled Maya in his arms and made sure to support her head, holding his cellphone to his ear with his shoulder as he finished calling for an ambulance. Riley had gone to tell her father what had happened and Smackle had gone with Farkle to find the nurse. The nurse wouldn’t be coming in until 10:00 that morning, so they ended up on a wild goose chase for the head janitor to beg him to open the office for them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Maya slowly opened her eyes, the 80s yellow light of the courts nearly blinding her. She had fallen about 16 feet from the rafter to the ground. It felt as though she’d only blinked her eyes, but she knew at least a few seconds had passed or at least enough time for her to wake up in Lucas’s arms. He leaned over her face, blocking the light from her eyes. “Thanks, Huckleberry,” Maya chuckled, trying to sit up. Lucas stopped her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Don’t move Maya: you’ve been out for almost two minutes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m fine, Lucas.” She attempted to sit up once again. She heard a crack in her neck and Lucas gently lowered her back over his knee. “Ow…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Relax.” Lucas cupped Maya’s cheek and traced small circles against her flushed skin. “Let me take care of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I don’t need you to take care of me, Hop-Along. I’m a big girl–and don’t look me in the eyes…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Lucas frowned. “Said the girl who I’ve been holding in my arms for the past three minutes,” he muttered. “God, Maya. You scared me. You can’t do reckless things like this anymore, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I know, I know.” Maya brushed him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Maya.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Maya sighed and stared up into Lucas’s bright green eyes. “I won’t do it again.” Lucas bit his lip as Maya looked up at him, her eyes wide as she spoke to him with a careful delicacy, licking her lips inadvertently. He could smell her shampoo again. With her this close to him he was back in Texas and back at the campfire. He tucked her hair in front of her shoulder to keep it from the ground, covering one of the intricate grey straps of her bralette as it peaked from beneath her shirt. He leaned in as it became progressively more difficult to resist his emotions. Maya gazed at his lips, her breathing uneven as she stroked Lucas’s nape, pulling him closer little by little. He kissed Maya's forehead, prompting her to give an exhale of indistinguishable expression. He sighed disappointedly, wishing that he had followed through._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Maya! You’re awake!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Maya and Lucas turned to the entrance of the room and saw their three friends charging back in. Farkle and Smackle nearly tripped over one another. They each had first aid tools stacked high in their arms. Riley hung back, staying just outside the glass of the court. She motioned for Lucas to meet her in the hallway. He sighed, removing his overall coat, folding it into a neat square and placed it on the ground before carefully lowering Maya’s head against it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________***Lucas’s POV*** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________I didn’t want to leave Maya’s side, but I saw the look on Riley’s face. She’d seen that kiss. I wasn’t sure how I would talk her down as I made my way across the room as inconspicuous as possible. I closed the door behind us, leaving Smackle and Farkle to tend to Maya in the meantime. “What’s up Riles?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She crossed her arms, an eyebrow perching itself high on her face as she tapped her toes. She was wearing a long knee length lima bean green skirt, forest green turtleneck, skin tone tights, and brown suede boots. She leaned into her left hip the way she always did when her patience was going thin. “Lucas, don’t start,” she snapped. “You kissed Maya.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“On the forehead.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Riley scoffed. “You kissed _my _best friend on the forehead, Lucas. The same best friend who we were in a **love triangle** with,” she reminded me. I knew the way it looked. The truth of the matter was that she was right. I had kissed Maya knowing full and well that I had no right. I’d lost that right in middle school when I let myself become the guy that Riley wanted me to be. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You’re right.” But Riley was still talking and rambling on and on about how Maya had managed to confuse us all beyond repair. Her voice began to swell as she became more passionate about what she said and it became hard to ignore the fact that there was something going on with her that I didn’t know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________I could hear the sirens wailing outside of the school as the lights poured in from the windows. I ran to the doors of the gym and opened them for the EMT’s before pointing them in Maya’s direction. “The pretty blonde one. She fell from the rafters.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The EMTs slid the stretcher under Maya, instructing me to keep her head steady. She was still conscious, albeit barely now. Smackle and Farkle had done their best to wrap Maya up and address all of the superficial wounds they could see. I watched as they carried Maya out on a stretcher, wishing with all my heart that I could come with her on the ride._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“She shouldn’t have had to be alone,” Farkle grumbled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The rest of the school day was tense. I couldn’t focus on the lessons. I couldn’t focus when the guidance counselor spoke to me. I struck out every time during baseball practice. But when the school day ended, I dropped everything and I sprinted to be with Maya, wherever she was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is really in his feelings this chapter.   
> Josh, but make him ✨sexy✨  
> Maya, but make her ✨without a spine✨

_Song Suggestion: Bound, _Ponderosa Twins Plus One__

__Luckily, Maya’s injuries hadn’t been that serious. Despite falling almost 20 feet onto a hardwood floor, she had no more than a mild concussion, a sprained wrist and a couple painful bruises. Maya stayed for the diagnoses alone before hobbling as quickly as she could out of the hospital. She had no doubt that the bill for a cat scan and an x-ray would be out of her ballpark. She walked home from the hospital. It was several miles to go, but nobody batted an eyelash at the 5’0 beauty covered nearly from head to toe in bandages. Maya flopped in her bed. Having a concussion wasn’t something she’d anticipated when she’d crawled onto the beam that morning , but if it got her out of school she was grateful for it. It was the dull throbbing that ruined the fun of a day off._ _

__For the majority of the day Maya drew in her sketchbook in minimal light. Eventually she became bored of drawing pictures of houses that she couldn’t afford and families that weren’t hers. Instead, she turned on her stereo (something Shawn had gifted Maya before a date with her mother) and began to dance. She hadn’t been to the studio in the longest time. She missed the sensual atmosphere. Whenever people tried to tell her who she was she would go to the studio and dance, her only form of true expression. Art was trivial. Pieces never came out precisely how she had imagined they would. That was okay for dance._ _

__Before she knew it, there was a knock at the front door of her house. She heard a low voice call her name and knew immediately who it was. She ignored them, continuing her choreography in the confines of her quaint bedroom and utilizing the wall as her partner in something like an interpretive tango. It couldn’t have been but 5 minutes later that she heard another knock. This knock came from closer. Maya twirled, spotting a figure in her window and gasping, hopping nearly a foot in the air. Lucas had climbed the fire escape. Catching her breath, Maya slowly crossed the room and opened the window for him._ _

__Lucas stepped in, sinking into the sunset orange pelican chair beside Maya’s bed. “I went to the hospital to look for you to find that you didn’t use your real name and that you’d run away after getting your test results back,” Lucas explained irritatedly. “Penelope Hunter.”_ _

__Maya turned off her stereo and leaned back against her desk. “I can’t afford a hospital bill, Lone Star.” The familiar silence returned between the two of them._ _

__“How did you get home?” Lucas inquired._ _

__Maya held her breath, looking away. “Well, I walked,” she muttered beneath her breath. Lucas raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to speak a bit louder. “I walked,” she repeated._ _

__Lucas winced, crossing the room and taking her hands. He led her to her bed and sat her down, carefully lowering her onto her back. “You should rest.” He smiled. “Though I love to see you dance,” he admitted. Maya rolled her eyes, licking her lips unwittingly. Lucas leaned closer in an attempt to replicate the events of the morning. “Can I kiss you?”_ _

__“No!” Maya replied sharply, sitting up quickly and hurting her back slightly. “Shit,” she muttered, rubbing the small of her back._ _

__“Turn around.”_ _

__“Huh?”_ _

__Lucas chuckled, turned her around, and lifted the back of her shirt. “Let me take care of you, Maya,” Lucas whispered, his breath grazing the back of her ear. Maya breathed unsteadily. “Lay down.” Maya laid on her stomach as Lucas sat on the edge of her bed. He laid his hand down on the pale skin just over the small of her back and felt around carefully. “Tell me if it hurts.”_ _

__He lightly pressed down with the heel of his hand rhythmically. Maya groaned as his hand rolled over the exact spot where she’d felt this pain. She reached back and placed Lucas’s hand back to that spot. “There,” she said. His tough hands applied just the right amount of pressure, eliciting an incoherent moan to escape Maya’s throat. He froze as Maya became visibly tense. She did not turn back towards him. “I–that was an accident...I just,” she rambled. Figuring that there was no good way to explain a moan, Maya conceded and shrugged, rolling her eyes. “Nevermind...Thank you, Lucas.”_ _

__Lucas smiled and moved to the other end of the bed so that he could see Maya’s face. “Look at me, Maya,” he commanded. She looked over at him uneasily and slowly. Her pale cheeks were a rosy pink. Lucas placed his hand on the back of Maya’s nape and leaned in, kissing her forehead once again. “If you keep acting so cute I won’t be able to leave you,” he muttered, shifting his hand to caress her warm cheek before tracing his way down her jawline. He could feel Maya’s uneven breathing as they stared deep into one another’s pleading eyes. Lucas brushed his thumb against Maya’s lower lip, smiling as he watched her cheeks become scarlett._ _

__Still, Maya tried to resist her body and the beautiful Abercrombie-esque boy in front of her. He hadn’t leaned out more than 3 inches after kissing her forehead. Their faces were dangerously close. “Well, I won’t be able to rest if you’re gonna stare at me for 3 hours, Cowboy. So, thank you for your impromptu visit and stop popping up to my window. You’re going to get us both in trouble,” Maya replied sassily. “Got it.”_ _

__Lucas rolled his eyes and smirked cockily. “If I find out that you’re doing anything but recuperating I will personally have to take care of you,” he retorted, noting the pastel pink straps of Maya’s thong peeking just above her rolled grey sweatpants. It was about time he started going before Maya noticed something embarrassing in _his _pants. He shifted it from one side to the other. “Lock your window again after I head out.”___ _

____“Yeah, yeah. Whatever Ranger Roy.” Maya watched as Lucas crawled onto the fire escape ladder, smiling to herself. He turned back around, waiting for her to lock her window. He had not been expecting her to place a kiss on _his _forehead before he left. She did so with such a quickness that the closing window let off a slight breeze.___ _ _ _

______Now Lucas was the one turning scarlett._ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Now, unfortunately for Lucas, Maya was not one to regard regulations, restrictions, or recommendations. Just as soon as she’d seen Lucas reach the street below she had thrown her covers off her body and shuffled her way over to her closet. She had plans with Josh and no intention to cancel them. Even if the long game wasn’t what she’d wanted at the Ski Lodge, who was to say she couldn’t adapt? She smiled to herself as she threw on a white cami top, distressed blue high waisted shorts and white chunky heel sandals. Josh may have been three years her senior, but they were no longer on opposite sides of eighteen and Maya was officially a curved out young woman._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maya grabbed a tan crossbody and shoved her phone along with her Metrocard, her wallet, and her house keys into it before setting off on her adventure to “Topanga’s” to meet with Josh. It wasn’t a long commute, but Maya found herself exhausted as a migraine fell on her. The volume on the subway was _astronomical _and the flashing lights as the subway rocked and sped between stops was agonizing. Still, she pressed on to the bakery.___ _ _ _ _ _

________When Maya arrived, Josh was waiting for her in a booth. The small bell attached to the door rang cheerfully as she opened the door and Josh turned around. Maya felt her heart skip a beat as she saw his toothy white smile as his eyes met hers. It was in moments like these that she wished she were taller so that she could run her hands through his dark mahogany curls. He stood up and met Maya in the middle, wrapping his arms around her. She returned the gesture, ignoring the stabbing pain of her back as he lifted her off of the ground and spun her around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Come! Sit down,” Josh said, still smiling as he led Maya to the booth. He’d already ordered her favorite. “A chocolate filled croissant and offensively diluted and sweetened decaf coffee for you, milady.” He winked and Maya wondered if he were truly giving her an early onset heart condition._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Thank you,” she muttered, taking a long sip of the coffee. “Shit, that’s good.” He laughed at her then. “So, Boing, what have you been up to?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, Junior year of college things?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Junior year college girls type things?” Maya inquired, not particularly perturbed by the idea of Josh entertaining girls his own age. She’d spent more than six years now being too young for him. The way Maya saw it, university was a buffet: she wouldn’t blame anyone for trying everything. Hell, she wouldn’t put it past herself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Studying constantly and thinking about my friends and family things,” Josh replied, taking Maya’s hand from across the booth. “Oh! And you too!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya rolled her eyes and dropped his hand. “Asshole.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey! Watch your mouth, kiddo or I’ll have to punish you” Josh whispered, leaning across the table. A chill ran throughout every nerve in Maya’s body. Josh had never said anything so direct to her before. It was strange and new and...sexy? Well, of course. She’d always thought Josh was sexy but she’d never had anyone to share the thought with. She couldn’t tell Riley that she’d spent nights dreaming of nonstop marathons in bed with Boing. Maya wouldn’t ever share that even if by some twisted circumstance it seemed appropriate and alright._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya smirked, feigning confidence. She was just a highschool girl. She was inexperienced. The extent of her flirting was the names she’d called Lucas since middle school. That was her ballpark. Now she was in the big leagues. She was in the heavyweights with someone three years her senior. “Is that a threat or a promise?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Josh chuckled lowly, his eyes changing. “You really know how to test my self control” he muttered, smirking as he dragged his tongue across his lip. The two of them stared at one another, each daring the other to take it too far._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So, the long game then?” Maya said, finally, leaning back against her seat as she broke off a piece of the croissant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah. I was wondering if you’d told anyone yet” Josh admitted, taking a bite of his blueberry muffin. He watched as Maya paled, sitting up a bit straighter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“A day or two ago, yeah. I told Lucas.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You told Lucas? Did you tell anyone else?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, just him.” Maya lifted the coffee mug to her lips and stared into it, avoiding Josh’s eyes. He didn’t bother asking why it had been Lucas that Maya had told, if anyone. They hadn’t agreed to keep things a secret. In truth, Josh just hadn’t thought to tell anyone because he didn’t know of many people who would care. Lucas wasn’t the person he’d expected Maya to tell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You should tell Riley.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I should tell Riley that I’m in the long game with someone who can legally drink?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You should tell Riley that you’re in the long game with her uncle and eventually might even start dating him,” Josh corrected. He rested his bare forearms on the table. Maya bit her lip as she saw the lines of his collar bones just above his black t-shirt. He looked dangerously handsome in his green flannel. Handsome enough to convince Maya to play it safe for once. “You know if Riley finds out you told anyone before her she’ll freak out. She’ll probably be upset that you didn’t tell her at the Lodge.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She’d understand that we were all a bit busy at the Lodge.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Josh nodded slowly, smirking as he looked Maya up and down. “We certainly were.” Maya blushed and rolled her eyes, half turned on and half embarrassed yet at the same time fully interested. She could tell that Josh was noticing the effect he had on her as his boot casually parted her tightly crossed ankles. “You’re so tense, Maya,” he purred, cupping her cheek. “You know I can help you with that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya finished the last of her croissant and her coffee as she tried to shake the tingling below her abdomen. She glanced away from his baby blue eyes. He knew what he was doing to her and he was having fun with it. Maya smiled and slowly stood up from the table, making her way to Josh’s side and yanking him up by the collar of his t-shirt. He was almost a foot taller than her standing straight up. Right now, as she held him by the collar their foreheads touched. Maya leaned in slightly, teasing Josh as he leaned in closer. Her lips ghosted over his as their breath mingled before she let go of his shirt, leaving him hot and bothered. “I’ll tell Riley,” she chirped innocently, turning on her heels and exiting the bakery._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucas felt dumb for expecting Maya to listen to him. Maya was a loose cannon. So, after only five minutes of walking away, Lucas had turned back to Maya building and thought it wise to go back up the fire escape and check on her. As he made his way to her window, he could already see that her bed was unspread and the doors to her bedroom and closet wide open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Only Maya could have Lucas repeating himself like a broken record. Only Maya could upset Lucas the way she did. Only Maya could get him sprinting across New York City like a mad man. Lucas hadn’t been searching very long before he found Maya, anyway. He’d checked the bay window first, then the art studio at the school, _then _the dance studio, then Topanga’s. And there she was, sitting in a booth across from Josh Matthews or “Uncle Boing.” His hand was on her cheek just the way Lucas’s hand had been that morning in the school.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Lucas couldn’t find it in himself to pity himself: Here he was, soaked in sweat, his hair a mess for a girl that could’ve been his. But she wasn’t his girl. He’d made sure of that the moment he’d started entertaining Riley’s crush on him. So Lucas did nothing and left to head home. He had no one to blame but himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Shark In The Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Siley Cashews" messed up.

_POV: Lucas _  
_Song Suggestion: Shark In The Water, _V V Brown____

____ _ _

____Maya had always been a bit reckless, but never stupid. See, she may have signed me up to ride Tombstone the Bull, but she’d thought that Tombstone was a sheep and once she’d seen him she no longer endorsed the idea. This was something I’d always admired her for: knowing the difference between risk taking and suicide. These days, the Maya I thought I knew was nowhere in sight. She was doing more than walking on a fine line: She was practically doing gymnastics on a tightrope these days._ _ _ _

____One day this week, Maya decided to show off during the gym class and attempt a round off backhand spring despite my begging her to not do anything foolish. It seemed for a moment like I had underestimated her, however, I’d seen the way Maya hobbled for the rest of the school day. Yesterday Maya decided to skate down the stair railing with no sort of helmet or anything protective and nothing to crash land on besides the tiled floor. Every time she does this I lose myself and I yell at her. I yell at her and ask her how she could be so stupid and reckless and she says she won’t do it again, but she knows she will and everyone knows I have no right to be acting this way about a girl I’m not supposed to like but I do. I like her so much and all she does is make me worry._ _ _ _

____Nobody else sees anything wrong or weird about the way that Maya is acting because they all agreed with Riley that Maya was not the same. She wasn’t rough around the edges or bulletproof anymore. She never was._ _ _ _

____After today’s stunt, sprinting across the road while the light was on green, I grabbed Maya by both of her shoulders and shook her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I hollered. I stared into her blue eyes and could see how wild I looked. She almost looked frightened, but I didn’t care. “I’m sick of all this performative risk taking. This isn’t like you at all! Stop doing crazy shit and putting yourself in danger! You’ve only been getting more reckless since you fell from those rafters! What? Do you get off on making me worry about you?”_ _ _ _

____Farkle, Zay, Riley and Smackle were in a semi circle behind me, watching as I chastised Maya. We’d all been on this side of the road waiting for her when she darted out into the road with reckless abandon. I had to yank her off of the road before a yellow taxi cab flattened her out on the asphalt. Riley stepped up to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. It was a firm grip and her nails dug through my shirt. “She’s fine, Lucas. Just relax.”_ _ _ _

____“You guys don’t think she’s being reckless, but she is: I want the old Maya back!”_ _ _ _

____“Whatever, Huckleberry. I’m fine,” Maya muttered, giving me a look to stop. I didn’t want to stop until she looked like she regretted it. She didn’t. She even seemed to be enjoying my frustration. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll look both ways next time. Now, can we go?”_ _ _ _

____The group set off, but Riley did not remove her hand from my shoulder. We walked behind the group._ _ _ _

____“You could at least try to pretend that you don’t regret choosing me,” she said._ _ _ _

____“I don’t regret choosing you, Riley,” I said matter-of-factly. And it was true. I didn’t regret choosing her because, simply put, I hadn’t._ _ _ _

_________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _

____POV: Riley_ _ _ _

_____He always looks at her like that. I don’t understand. Maya was confused this whole time, I know that. We’ve been over that. Maybe Lucas is turning into Farkle. He must be, otherwise why would he be acting so head over heels for Maya? Why would he look at her with those blue eyes while I stand here? How could he? ____ _ _ _

______“I don’t regret choosing you, Riley,” he says. I can tell that he’s telling the truth; however convoluted it may be, but I can’t drop it. I can’t ignore the way that he watches her hips as she walks or the way he smiles when she calls him all of those stupid nicknames of hers or when he chooses to sit next to her instead of–well, _anybody else _.___ _ _ _ _ _

________She had the nerve to call him all of these nicknames that she used before to show her affection. “Huckleberry,” this and “Ranger Rick,” that and “Sundance,” and “Heehaw,” and “Cowboy,”...crap. She was getting too comfortable with him again. Maybe it was confusing Lucas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I guess she is being a bit more reckless than before,” I admitted, removing my hand from Lucas’s shoulder as we walked a little more than 10 feet behind the group. “I think it’s because she wants your attention.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucas stopped in his tracks, shifting his eyes over to me. He shook his head. “That’s silly,” he said. There was no amusement in his voice. He didn’t want to entertain the idea, that much was obvious. Maybe he knew it was true. “Why would you say that?”  
“Just like how she calls you all those nicknames. They’re to get your attention and get you angry. She has been doing this since middle school,” I explained. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucas crossed his arms. “There’s a difference between friends having nicknames and throwing themselves in front of cars for attention, Riley.” It annoyed me how he always went out of his way to defend her. He continued walking and I trailed behind him. I struggled to keep up with his long strides. “She would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship any more than the triangle did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Our relationship?” I repeated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You and I,” Lucas clarified pointedly. “Maya would never try and invite herself into our relationship and break us up. She never has.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She never has,” I repeated, using my fingers as air quotes. “Do you have memory loss or something, Lucas? Do I really need to remind you of all the times that she has stepped between us?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, actually,” Lucas retorted. He stopped walking again and turned to me looking unentertained. “Why don’t you?” I held my breath for a moment. He was daring me to say something. It was like he saw right through me. Maya was a homewrecker. I knew it. He knew it. He was just too good to see it. So I told him what he wanted to hear!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________...And then a little bit too much…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“First she started dressing like me. Then she tried to be me and be _smart _and convinced herself that she has liked you all this time. And, on top of that, she makes a scene at the rodeo, hogs you like you’re _her _boyfriend when you’ve already chosen me, and made me so insecure that I kissed Evan!” Riley rambled. Her hands flew over her mouth and she gasped. She hadn’t meant to say the ladder._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You kissed Evan?” Lucas repeated, dumbfounded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Riley paced back and forth fretfully. She ran her hands through her hair. “Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot! It all just slipped out!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You kissed Evan and you have the _audacity _to be upset that I kissed Maya on the _forehead _?” Lucas exclaimed exasperatedly. Riley hushed him, worried that the others would hear from now 10 meters away. “And how dare you talk about your best friend like this? She “makes a scene at the rodeo” and “hogs” me...unbelievable!”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“See?” Riley yipped. “She’s all you care about anymore! That’s why I went to his room with him and we hooked up!” She covered her mouth again. By this point Lucas could see that Maya saw his interaction with Riley escalating and pulled Riley’s hands down so as to prevent any more wild gestures._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“So you guys didn’t just kiss? You _hooked up _?” Lucas clarified, holding her hands as he tried to contain his seething rage. _All of this time she’d been flaunting the perfect hypothetical life she planned to have with me and as soon as I talk to another girl she has sex with the first guy she sees? _he thought. Lucas was filled with regret as Riley nodded, verifying his fear: He had wasted his time when he could’ve been direct all along and told Maya from the beginning. Lucas shook his head slowly, smiling. “We need to break up. You know it. So do I.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“No! Lucas, it was a mistake!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“No, all of this was a mistake. We’re not in love. You’re in love with this idea of me. You can’t even handle when I get passionate about the wellbeing of our friend, more or less when I get upset.” Lucas replied bluntly. “...but, to be fair, I haven’t been honest about my feelings. I can’t even find it in myself to be jealous about you and Evan because you’re like a sister to me Riley. That bond is sacred and I value it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Riley sighed shakily. Deep down she knew that, in some capacity or another, Lucas was right about their relationship. She was in love with the idea of him. She loved the thought of what they could become and the family they could create. _Riley Friar _. She’d been preparing the way she’d say “I do” every day since she’d met him. She was supposed to be Riley Friar. “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t break up with me for my best friend,” Riley spat bitterly.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m doing this for myself,” Lucas countered, taking Riley’s hand. “We don’t have to tell everyone about the breakup just yet. Just try and act normal at Topanga’s. Try and enjoy yourself. Don’t let this ruin your day.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Riley nodded and the two of them jogged down to meet their friends who had paused after noticing how far behind they’d been._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You lovebirds had enough _alone time _?” Smackle jokes, elbowing Riley playfully.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Lucas nodded, a smile on his face. “Couldn’t bear being away from y’all is all.” Maya rolled her eyes at his own overdone Texan accent, none-the-wiser about what had just occurred between Lucas and Riley._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The evening at Topanga’s had been relatively uneventful. Everyone was cheerful as usual. Lucas hadn’t paid much attention to Riley. He’d sat next to her, surprising her slightly, and held her hand above the table. Strangely, this felt more affectionate to Riley than when they’d been dating. He squeezed her hand comfortingly. Whenever she tried to hold his hand before this evening he’d recoiled. Of course, it was impossible to ignore Maya’s magnetism. Everyone loved her. Everyone looked at her. She was the center of the conversation and the table. But Lucas’s gaze was different and heavy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gradually the group began to diminish in size as people excused themselves and went home. Smackle was first and then Farkle. Then Zay decided to “take his leave” and Riley decided to stay at Topanga’s and wait for her mother to arrive. That left Maya and Lucas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Maya headed for the door, but someone reached over her head and pushed it open for her. She glanced up. It was Lucas, unsurprisingly. “Thanks,” she said, heading out into the night. Lucas hurried to catch up with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Maya I know you’re in the long game with Josh.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Maya did not turn. “Yeah, I know Huckleberry. I’m the one who told you that, remember.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“But,” Lucas added pointedly. He gulped as Maya stopped in her tracks, waiting for him to finish. “I broke up with Riley.” No sooner had the words slipped from his mouth than Maya had him pinned against the side of a building with one arm. Lucas wouldn’t dare to move. He didn’t want to, anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Why the hell would you do that?” Maya spat furiously. “How could you hurt her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It’s you Maya. I want you to be my girlfriend. I like you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Don’t be an idiot, Lucas. I would never date a guy who hurts Riley.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I didn’t hurt her, Maya: She _cheated on me _with that kid from the Ski Lodge,” Lucas explained. Maya released him. Her blue eyes grew wide. Lucas hadn’t seen such a baffled expression on her face since he’d tried to kiss her at the campfire. “That’s why we were walking so far behind you guys earlier.” The silence between them grew heavy and Lucas could tell that Maya was thinking hard.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Maya exhaled sharply. “Lucas, it’s not just the long game anymore. It’s...Boing and I–Josh and I...we’re going to start dating very soon,” she explained. “And I like him, a lot. I always have. And I was confused before.”  
“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I was confused and I became Riley before. That’s why I thought I liked you. Because I wanted something like what you and Riley were going to have. Now I have that, so.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Bullshit,” Lucas cried. He turned away from Maya, wiping at his eyes before tears could fall. “Bullshit. Cow crap. Lies.” He turned back to her. “Just like how you’ve been doing all of this reckless shit to prove that you’re the Maya everyone wants you to be. Well I call bull.shit. And I say that you just stop lying to yourself after all of these years and do something for yourself for a change. Be honest with yourself!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“And what do you honestly think I want? What have I been lying to myself about?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Lucas grabbed Maya’s face and pulled her flush against his body, leaning down half way. Maya leaned in unintentionally. She stopped herself just as their lips were about to touch, pushing Lucas’s hands down and holding them at his sides. “I made my choice, Lucas,” she muttered, tears fresh in her eyes. “Respect it and move on.” She walked away, leaving Lucas alone in the street once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. "Let Them See"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya is perplexed and doesn't know what to do. Lucas is trying not to be a coward anymore. RIley is kind of seething in the corner for this chapter. She'll be back.   
> Minor Joshaya moments.   
> A major Lucaya moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was a bit Joshaya heavy, but you know I had to stir the pot a lil' bit ;)

_Song Suggestion: Sparks _, Coldplay__

__Josh is handsome. He has tan skin and blue eyes and dark brown hair. He’s also three years older than Maya, which he has stopped reminding her of but she still remembers as she lays his bed in his college dorm. Josh had told his roommate to spend the night with a friend, and Maya told Riley that she would not be going to the sleepover they’d planned two weeks before because her back was hurting. Unbeknownst to Maya, Riley assumed that the true reason Maya was not coming was because she was whoring herself out to Lucas. This was not the case._ _

__Lucas was not the one between Maya’s legs on this Friday night. Maya wrapped her legs around the boy with the curly brown hair, tan skin and blue eyes (and three years over her) as she attempted to suppress the sensual moans that escaped her mouth. Even with a pillow over her face she knew she was being loud._ _

__It was a strange sensation that Maya had never felt before but she was certain that the feeling she was getting was pleasant. Arousal seemed too formal a word. Gratification seemed dirty and obscene. But there was no better word to describe this feeling besides amazing._ _

___I could make you feel even better_ _ _

____Maya opened her eyes. Her mind was playing tricks on her. It seemed inappropriate, while Josh was pleasuring her in ways she’d only dreamt of, to hear Lucas’s voice and imagine him whispering in her ear. Then she imagined him kissing her breasts, her abdomen, her thighs, until he reached her most sensitive spot. _Pleasure to be of service, Miss Hart _she imagined him saying with his faint Texan accent. Maya moaned louder at the thought.___ _ _ _

______“You’re so hot, Maya,” Josh muttered against her skin. She shuddered. “Do you like it?” he inquired. Maya nodded too quickly and Josh laughed. “I can tell you’re close, so I’ll just leave you on a lil’ cliffhanger.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Maya pouted. “No. Wait, but now I’m all…” she paused, biting her lip. She didn’t want to say it. It felt too lewd._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Horny?” Josh finished. “Yeah, well you _were _pretty wet down there,” he joked, earning an irritated huff from Maya. He put his shirt back on and picked up Maya’s underwear, putting it back on her carefully. She stood up and smoothed out her t-shirt dress. “You know I’ve got to get you back to your before your mom and Shawn realize you aren’t at Riley’s.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya nodded and took Josh’s hand. They walked together to the station nearby, rode the subway to her stop, and Josh walked her to her apartment before kissing her deeply. Maya smiled against his lips. “Spend the night in my room,” she suggested, pointing up at the fire escape. “Please.”  
Josh grinned. “Another day, sunshine,” he promised, kissing her again. “Goodnight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Goodnight,” Maya mouthed. She entered through the main lobby and went up to the apartment, unlocking the door. “I’m home,” she called._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Things went on this way for a while until one day when Riley confronted Maya._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Where have you been sneaking off to?” Riley asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya shrugged. “When?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“At night when you say that you’re sleeping over at my house,” Riley reiterated. “Where have you been sneaking off when Shawn asks if you’re here?” Maya cleared her throat, noting Riley’s shift in energy. She figured it was about time she let Riley in on the secret._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Back at the Ski Lodge, Josh and I agreed to the Long Game,” she explained. “I’ve been sneaking off to hang out with him and I was going to tell you if anything got serious.” Riley’s jaw dropped. She’d been prepared to throw a fit of rage if Maya had said Lucas, but Uncle Boing? That was news to her! She’d seen Boing around more and more often and thought nothing of it. That is, until just now. She couldn’t help but wonder…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you guys having sex?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Maya blushed at the question and shook her head. “No!” she replied. She didn’t _think _they were, anyway. Josh only explained what they did as things he did to make her feel good. All Maya knew was that it always felt good and safe and fun. “We’re not! It’s not like that.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“So, you’re in the long game...but are you dating?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’re not dating. If he wants to go explore other options or if I wanted to go flirt with the new guy in your apartment building, who, by the way, is _very _attractive, it’s alright,” Maya explained. She wasn’t sure if this was the way that the long game worked. All this time she’d been saying “dating right now, dating _eventually _” and the long game was this undefined variable. It was like the limbo between liking one another and dating._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Riley giggled. “For a second there I thought you were going to become Aunt Maya,” she admitted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, shut up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Song Suggestion: Easily, _Bruno Major__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Lucas took notice of the various hickey’s scattered across Maya’s body during gym class on Monday. The weekend had been hell. He hadn’t heard a word from Maya. He’d considered texting her but thought better of it. One good thing that had come of his uneventful weekend was almost unlimited time to think. All of his problems with Maya seemed to stem from his battle with his nice guy persona. This fear of hurting the people who cared the most was impairing him. The truth was, Lucas wanted to be the nice guy, but not if it meant he couldn’t be with Maya. He wanted nothing more than that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Maya had forgotten to pack her own athletic clothes that morning and had to borrow some extra stuff Riley had which was nothing more than a pair of purple running shorts and a black sports bra. It was clear that Maya had spent some amount of time trying to conceal the small bruises scattered across her body, but it was difficult to reach her back and that much was abundantly clear. By the end of Maya’s track practice, there wasn’t a single drop of concealer on those bruises._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Lucas sauntered over to the gatorade jug after baseball practice and regarded the girl as he helped himself to Maya’s water bottle, taking a long sip. Maya opened her mouth to protest, but he held up his finger. “That’s good,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. He stepped around the girls and paused. “By the way...nice hickies, Maya.” He could hear the two girls panic as he walked away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Despite his determination, Maya did not give Lucas any worthwhile reactions. She was cordial with him and, if anything, almost back to normal. She wasn’t being completely reckless anymore and she’d slowly but surely returned to her habit of calling Lucas every name under the sun that she could think of. Things were deceptively good between them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Messages between Maya and Josh ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: You up, buttercup?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: :)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: There’s my buttercup ;)  
Maya: I miss your bed :(_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: I miss your taste :(_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: omg, you can’t say stuff like that!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: Why? Wet again?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: can’t have someone pick up my phone and see you texting me things like this!!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: You still haven’t told them about the long game?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: I told Riley. That’s all that matters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: Well, if so… come over ;)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: You wish._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: I have a question for you, Josh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: shoot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: What does the long game mean for us?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: wdym?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: Is it dating or???_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: Right. Well, it basically means we like each other and whatever happens between us happens. If we ended up dating that’d be cool. We aren’t really tied to one another._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: So, I could date other guys?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: Yeah, u could._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: R u having second thoughts about it?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: In your dreams._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: Like I’d let you off that easy :)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: I’m glad ur not, ocean eyes ;) Goodnight_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: It’s 12:30 in the morning -_-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Josh: GoOdNiGhT MaYa._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maya: Goodnight goofball_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Lucas rolled his eyes as Maya’s thumbs rapidly flew across her screen. She’d been texting someone (who was he kidding? It could only be Josh) for much of the lunch period and it had been driving him insane. Maya hadn’t looked up from her phone for longer than a minute and she had only looked up when she was in the lunch line. Her food was untouched. Zay shot Lucas a knowing look, shaking his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Don’t do anything stupid _he imagined him saying.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________And Lucas tried his best not to say anything to Maya. He tried not to point out the conversation that all of their friends were partaking in around her, but it was difficult to see that, for the first time, Maya found something more interesting than her best friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________As the day carried on, Maya spent her every break staring at her phone screen with a dopey smile on her face. She was texting before classes and after classes without an end in sight until  
History with Matthews where Cory collected all of the phones. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Lucas wondered if Cory Matthews knew that Maya was screwing his brother. He wondered if Cory knew that Maya would be his sister in law and her best friend’s aunt. Lucas scowled. The thought disgusted him. He leaned back in his seat and reached forward. His twirled Maya’s hair around his index finger slowly, watching as her posture shifted. She’d noticed but she wasn’t saying anything. _What the hell? _Lucas thought. He wanted her attention, even if it was just for a moment. He kicked the leg of her chair repeatedly. _She can’t ignore me forever. _______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________But Maya did ignore him. Or, at least, she did not acknowledge Lucas’s childish attempts at drawing her attention. Eventually she scooched her chair just out of reach of Lucas’s foot and her hair out of reach of his hand. Maya didn’t think of this as ignoring so much doing what she was being sent to school to do: pay attention to the lessons and learn. Not that there was ever anything actually being taught in Matthews’s history class related to history._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Today’s assignment is to finally take something you’ve always wanted. Maybe you’ve been too nervous to do so before or maybe you never made it clear that you wanted it before,” Matthews explained. “But your assignment for today is to grab life by the handles and make the move you’ve been putting off. Class dismissed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The assignment made perfect sense to Lucas as he stared intently at the back of Maya’s head. He stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder before making his way up to retrieve his phone. _It’s time to get the girl. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________Song Suggestion: SUGAR _, Brockhampton  
POV: Maya__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________I could hear his boots coming before he’d even rounded the corner to the classroom. It was no surprise when he entered the room and said nothing. “Do you only come here to tell me off, Heehaw?” I joked, putting down my paint brush and wiping my hands on my smock._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just give me what I want,” he said firmly, his hands reaching around from behind me to wrap around my waist as he rested his head on my shoulder. His breath tickled my ear. I shuddered as a chill rushed through my body. “What we both want.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________I turned to face him and the smell of lavender and green tea filled every inch of my lungs. I stepped away, moving to the desk where I’d placed my things. He followed me and placed his arms on both sides of my body as he leaned against the desk. “Lucas, I told you–” I tried to speak, but Lucas grabbed me by the small of my back and pulled me against him. I gasped as I felt my body press flush against his own. No sooner had I met his eyes than he’d leaned in and planted a kiss against my lips. I was shocked as I planted my hand against his chest, fully meaning to push away; however, my fingers only tightened around his shirt, pulling him deeper into the kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Suddenly my legs were up from under me and I was sitting on the desk with Lucas positioned between my legs and his tongue down my throat. He smiled against my lips as he ground his hips forward. I whimpered at the friction, breaking from the kiss nervously as I looked toward the doors. “Lucas…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Let them see.” He kissed a trail down from my ears to my neck and scattered a few sloppy kisses on my lips in between. Soon enough we were both gasping and struggling to continue kissing. I pulled away, resting my head on his heaving chest. He smirked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“We can’t do this here.” I said. I tucked a strand of my now tousled hair behind my ear as I caught my breath. “Don’t be so reckless, Lucas. Someone could have walked in on that and seen us,” I whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Lucas shrugged. “So what? What’s the problem with a girl letting herself be pleasured?” he said. He tipped an imaginary hat at me and the feeling of heat returned just below my waistline. “God, those sounds you make are adorable. I wonder what you’d sound like screaming my name…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________My cheeks burned. It was such a lewd thing to say for Lucas. I’d never expected those words to slip from his mouth. Even in my most inappropriate dreams he was the charming Texan she’d teased throughout their time knowing one another. “Lucas, stop!” He made me feel weak as he spoke this way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You show up with those hickies all over your body and your eyes glued to the phone all day, but you keep thinking about Texas and how good I can make you feel.” He smirked all knowingly, his hands still gripping my waist as his thumbs traced circles on the sensitive skin. He was right, of course. I couldn’t let him know that, so I shook off the overwhelming tightness growing in my gut and stepped away from him, sliding my backpack onto my back and cleaning out my brush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I messed up. I wasn’t thinking straight,” I stuttered, rushing to leave the art room as I’d found it. “We shouldn’t have done that and this can’t happen again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“But what if we want it to happen again?” Lucas suggested, still steadying his breathing. His eyes gaze into mine and I know that if I stay any longer I will lose myself. I step around him and make my way to the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Then we give up,” I replied curtly. I closed the door behind me and bolted to the girls bathroom before locking myself in a stall. I threw my hands in my hair in a panic. “He kissed me. That huckleberry kissed me,” I muttered, feeling the heat return to my cheeks. _I don’t have to tell Josh about this _I thought. _he said that we were allowed to see other people and explore other options, right? I didn’t instigate the kiss with Lucas and I still want to be with Josh so, I’ve done nothing wrong, right? _______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________But _shit _...that kiss… I couldn’t deny the passion between us as his soft lips roughly planted kisses on mine. Lucas was a different kisser than I’d imagined. He wasn’t slow and sensual: he was rough, dominant, heated, passionate, and impulsive. Was it bad that I liked this side of him?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Was it bad that I liked Texas Lucas?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________I thought about him that night for hours. I couldn’t focus on my AP art history. He invaded every corner of my mind, and yet, I still had an overwhelming desire to be with Boing as well. It felt wrong to be so caught up on two different people simultaneously, but no matter how hard I tried to shake one, they only came to mind more and more heavily. I pulled out my phone and texted Josh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Maya: R u in class rn?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Josh: Nah. Y?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Maya: I can’t focus._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Josh: Come over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Maya: Already omw._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Josh: Dork._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________Song Suggestion: Hazel Chandeliers _, rum.gold  
 _POV _: Maya____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________When I got there I wasted no time trying to take my mind off of Lucas. That asshole, marching back to me practically demanding that I be his girlfriend after all of the time he had in the triangle. _Stupid cowboy _. As soon as Josh opened the door I reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it off of him. He chuckled and locked the door behind me as we stumbled inside of his dorm. He kissed me deeply, his fingers tangled in my hair as I pulled his neck down to meet my lips over and over again. This felt right. It felt incredibly right, so it had to be. Maybe even more so than Lucas’s kiss. “Touch me.” I ordered, undoing his belt as we finally hit the edge of his bed. He fell back on it, me on top of him as I placed both legs on either side of him. I took off my jeans and mint sweatshirt, tossing them to the side as Josh watched, wide eyed. I kissed him again. I didn’t want him to confront me and say I was acting differently. That I wasn’t ready for this. I grabbed the crotch of his jeans. “Off.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________He removed them smoothly and tossed them across the room. “Shit,” he muttered, glancing over my body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, Boing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Yeah, I know. It’s just–you look even sexier with all those bruises on you,” he admitted. I rolled my eyes. I knew I was blushing. I could see it from the small smirk on his face. “You’re like an angel.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“Yeah, yeah. We can talk later...right now I just want you to make me yours. Make me forget everything,” I cut him off desperately. “Please?” He understood what I meant as he reached into his bedside table. He opened the condom with his teeth and slipped it on before shifting the crotch of my thong to the side and lining himself up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________He was slow and sensual, but I liked that about him. He made sure I was comfortable and he took it as slowly as I needed, which, at first, was painfully slow from anxiety alone. It was an uncomfortable feeling at first, but I felt safe with him and soon enough we found a rhythm that worked for both of us. I would mutter an incoherent order and he would know what I meant. He looked beautiful beneath me as moonlight spilled through the window and caught his big blue eyes. I lost myself as my voice carried through the room and probably the hallway. Josh whispered reassurances. “Yes, Maya,” and “God, Maya,” and “When you make those sounds… _Maya _.” My name rolling from his lips was intoxicating. Soon enough we were laying next to one another, hot, sweaty, and too tired to care.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________Still, all the while there was this inkling of a reminder of a certain cowboy in my mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	7. "She's A Damn Leech"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is bitter.   
> Not-so-innocent sexual activity ;_;  
> Skip this chapter if you don't wanna read that lmao.

**March 5, 2017**

_(Song Suggestion:_ These Boots Are Made For Walking; Nancy Sinatra)

Things were going steady between Maya and Josh. For a while, anyway. During AP testing Maya couldn’t find much time to spend with Josh, but she tried her best to see him whenever she could. She hadn’t told him about what had happened between her and Lucas. It didn’t seem like something that mattered in terms of the long game. They weren’t dating, after all. Still, Maya felt guilty knowing that Josh had only been flirting and pursuing a relationship with her. 

Riley had grown bitter over the months. Here Maya was with two guys pining after her while Riley was alone with no one who wanted her. She missed the days where she had Lucas and Farkle under her finger. Now Farkle only had eyes for Smackle and Maya had both Lucas and Riley’s uncle. Riley couldn’t even keep her family to herself. It infuriated her. 

It had come to the point where Riley couldn’t even bear to look at Maya’s face anymore. She would just see a traitor and a duplicitous whore. Lucas looked at her with a passion that was impossible to miss and, whether Maya knew it or not, she returned his gaze with a quiet affection. Riley slammed her hands on the table and stood up, effectively gaining the attention of everyone at her table in the library. Riley was sick of being the nice girl. Look where it got her. Underappreciated, single, and with nothing of her own. 

* * *

( _Song Suggestion:_ Moral Of The Story; Ashe)

_ POV: Riley _

**March 4th, 2017**   
  


_ I don’t know what makes her so much better than me––that **“blonde beauty”**...Maybe it’s that long blonde hair. I don’t think I could pull that look off, anyway. Or maybe it’s those blue eyes. If only I had those blue eyes or even the green eyes my mom has. Instead I had to come out with straight boring brown hair and boring dark brown eyes. Maybe it was her feminine figure. Maya’s chest is smaller than mine, sure, but her waist is small and her butt is round whereas I have Auggie’s physique.  _

_ Lucas has tried to act like nothing is wrong, but nothing is right with the world right now! How can he like Maya? It was me all along, wasn’t it? It should’ve been me from the moment I fell into his lap...well, ~~Maya did push me...~~ That conniving **snake**! She’s been after him from the start. Ever since she saw my interest in him. She wants everything good in my life. _

**“She’s a damn leech.”**

I glanced up, feeling eight eyes on me. I’d spoken aloud and was now standing up, my palms flat on the table. “Who’s a leech?” Farkle and Smackle said in unison, their hands intertwined. They turned to each other and laughed in a sickeningly sweet way. I rolled my eyes. Maya was frowning at me. “Yeah, who’s a leech,” Maya inquired. 

“It’s nothing.” I replied curtly. “I have to go talk to my dad.” I grabbed my purple unicorn backpack and strode away, not looking back. 

_I don’t understand why the hell I’m keeping this secret for a traitor like her. It’s not like she deserves it. I mean, what has she ever really done for me? **Damn leech**. Always coming into my house and eating my food and hanging out with my family and flirting with my uncle and my boyfriend,_ I thought. 

“Bitch” I muttered. 

I barged into my father’s office. “Daddy!” He closed his laptop and turned his rolling chair to look at me. His smile dropped from his face. 

“Daughter!”

I closed the door behind us and sat on the edge of his desk. “Daddy, I have something to say.”

“I’ll finally be able to follow my lesson plans?”

I rolled my eyes. “Maya is dating Uncle Boing,” I deadpanned. His eyes were wide as he cupped his hands over his mouth in shock. He leaned back in his chair. “They’re in the long game and they’re having sex!” His eyes widened even more. 

“Riley, what you’re saying is very serious,” he muttered, finally lowering his hands from his mouth. “This isn’t something to be taken with a grain of salt.” Truthfully, I hadn't the slightest clue if they were having sex of any sort, but barging in to tell my father that Maya was kissing my uncle probably wouldn't have been reason enough for intervention. 

“I know that. That’s why I’m telling you.”

“And you’re certain they’re being sexual?” He asked. I nodded. “Are they being safe?” I scoffed. 

“When is Maya _ever_ safe?” I replied.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “Okay. I’ll handle this.” I crossed my arms. 

“How?”

“Don’t worry, Riley. I’ll handle it.”

  
  


* * *

Josh came over for dinner. He knew something was up the moment mom sent Auggie over to Ava’s house (something she’d never done before). I sat with my back against the wall of the hallway. My parents had told me to go to my room, though it would not make an enormous difference. Sound traveled like a bullet train, even in our relatively large apartment. Soon enough their voices began to swell and raise to hollers. 

“She’s too young! She’s just a kid!”

“She’s 18, Topanga!”

“How long has this been going on?” my father asked. I could tell that his arms were crossed. I’d only heard him use this voice once before when he was chastising Shawn for considering running away from his relationship with Katy. 

Josh groaned. “I already told you: we agreed to the long game at the Ski Lodge!” he said, his voice now relatively relaxed again. 

“Is that the truth?”

“ **Yes!** ” Josh replied, anger in his voice. “ **Jesus**! I’m telling the _truth_!”

“Do you even know what you’re doing to her? What **_are_** you doing _with_ her?” Topanga asked. 

I listened closely as the room grew silent. 

“Nothing that she doesn’t want to do,” Josh answered, finally. 

Their voices began to overlap and I could tell that the two brothers were getting a bit more physical as my mother told them to back away from each other. I peeked around the corner, watching as she sat down on the couch, her hands in her hair as she muttered beneath her breath. My father pointed at Uncle Josh. “Damnit, Josh. If you hurt her…”

“I would never hurt her,” Josh cut him off. “You know that.”

“Josh, you’re my brother. I care about you. I want what is best for you,” my father said calmly. “Maya is my daughter. I’ve known her since she was 5 years old. I’ve held her while she has cried. I’ve seen her in her darkest moments.” The room fell silent again and I suddenly became more conscious of my breathing. I covered my mouth. 

“I know,” Josh replied. He leaned against the front door, his arms crossed tightly. My mother looked up from her hands. Her face was pale and desperate and her eyeliner was smudged. 

“Then just be honest. Are you two having sex?” she inquired, her voice wavering as she read his face. Josh’s face turned red as he looked down at his feet, sniffling. He wiped at his nose. I couldn’t tell if he was crying, but I could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I love her, Topanga.”

I whipped my head back from around the corner. My back was flat against the wall now. He _loves_ her? How could he possibly know what love is? He’s not even out of college. He just recently earned the legal right to drink? So what could he know about love other than what he’d seen between his parents and my parents and what he’d seen in the movies? How could he _love_ a girl as difficult as Maya?

“Then don’t lead her on. Don’t waste her time or yours. This can only end one way,” my father said. The three of them were quiet until Josh muttered 

" _Fi_ _ne_ " and I heard the front door slam. Behind him I suppose. 

I smiled to myself. I wanted Maya to be happy, but somehow her happiness always had to intersect with my way of living and the people that mattered to me. Needless to say, she mattered to me. She was just getting too comfortable with...well…

...borrowing things that don’t belong to her. 

  
  


____________________________________________________________________________

**March 10th, 2017**

Maya had no clue what she had done to deserve the silent treatment or the cold shoulder or whatever variation of “ _I-don’t-want-to-interact-with-you_ ” Josh was doing. Nobody would dare mention the confrontation between Cory, Topanga, and Josh. The three of them were silent. Perhaps in more ways than one. Josh hadn’t called to give updates or check in since he stormed out of the apartment, ambushed, outnumbered and exhausted. Maya had called him at least twice on that day. After calling him every day twice a day consecutively for almost a week, Maya assumed that their Thursday movie night was a no-go and was entirely alright with Josh falling off the grid. He was in college, after all. 

It was difficult being away from him for so long when Lucas was always seemingly around the corner from her...whispering in her ear, holding her in his strong arms from behind, and twirling her hair around his fingers. They hadn’t talked about their kiss and suddenly Maya understood the lack of urgency that Riley had once felt. Why did anything have to change? Why did anything have to change from the way they were in middle school when it was easy for Maya to ignore her own feelings and the way Lucas had been her little lamb. These days he looked more like a Mad Dog. He reverted to Texas Lucas the closer he got to Maya. And the closer he got to Maya the closer she came to losing her self control. 

Maya wished Josh would call her back and tell her that he had only been extraordinarily busy and how much he wished they could pick things up where they left off. Perhaps then she could resist Lucas’s hungry gaze. Maya was entirely alright with Josh falling off the grid so long as he came back or took her with him. 

But when Maya heard her phone buzz and found an Instagram post from no other than @_Uncle_Boing, she was not alright when she saw a photograph of him surrounded by all of the girls of **Gamma Gamma Nu** in the confines of his own dorm room. He was smiling at her through the screen. It felt like it anyway. His eyes seemed to lock with hers as he flashed his signature crooked smile. Maya felt tears well in her eyes as she began to contemplate whether their entire relationship had been a lie...if they ever had been in a relationship. It seemed too coincidental that as soon as she gave him all that she had to give he ghosted her only to pop up in her feed a week later with more than twenty 34-DD busted girls in his shoebox of a dorm all over him. One in his lap, one over each of his shoulders, and 18 others all in the same pose that their singular shared brain cell could think of: leaning forward with one hand on their propped knee and the other on their hip or, if they felt especially creative, in the air. 

Maya rolled her eyes and shoved her phone in the pocket of her jacket before hopping on the subway with only one intention. If this was the kind of girl he wanted then Maya figured she was better off. She didn't need him. She would show him. Two could play at this mystery game.

* * *

**THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET SEXUAL !!! SKIP TO NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THAT SORT OF THING !!!**

* * *

(Song _Suggestion:_ Close; Tove Lo)

_**POV: Lucas** _

People didn’t usually come knocking on the door at this hour. And maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I don’t consider it very polite to invite yourself to someone’s home in general, more or less past 6:00 pm. 

My parents had gone out for the week and decided to take advantage of the points they got from the airport and I wasn’t certain they’d be thrilled to find everything in our apartment gone. I stood up from my AP Euro textbook and quietly made my way to the front door, looking through the peephole. I opened the door, unentertained and far from in the mood for ding dong ditchers. 

“Down here, Hee-Haw.” I glanced down to see Maya in front of me in all her beauty. She raised one hand and seized the front of my shirt before leading me back into my apartment. I reached over her head and locked the door anxiously. Something had to be wrong. Maya had never come to my apartment before. Before my eyes could focus on her face, Maya pulled me down and connected our lips harshly. Any faster and one of us would be concussed. I kissed back, naturally, my hands instinctively making their way to her cheek and the back of her head. She grabbed them, shaking her head between rough kisses, the two of us still backing up further into my apartment. “Don’t. Not there,” she muttered, her voice rasping out as her breath mingled with mine. She relocated them to her hips. I had no complaints. 

We knocked pictures off of the walls as we collided with them in too much of a frenzy to let each other go. She’s on her toes like a prima ballerina and my neck is cramping so badly it’s a wonder it doesn’t snap–– but I don’t care. When she kisses me I forget to breathe and I’m nearly certain that every ounce of air in my lungs is coming from her alone. We make it to my room and she flings me onto my bed. My cheeks are burning. 

It’s a bit embarrassing, really. 

If I’d known she would be coming I would have hidden the large Texan flag above my bed head or the Cowboy hat sat on my dresser and especially closed the closet door revealing not only spurs but a dozen flannel shirts of all varieties. I was in my pajamas, if you could call this outfit that: A white tank top and blue-grey plaid boxers with socks. My hair was still damp from the shower I’d taken less than 10 minutes ago. I’m probably a sight for sore eyes. 

Maya, on the other hand, looks like an angel and feels like paradise as she straddles me, her hands on my chest. She is wearing white air force sneakers with white Nike basketball socks, a white spaghetti strap cami and grey sweatpants which are, regrettably, not my own. She kicks her shoes off and takes her hair down from its messy bun, shaking it to-and-fro until every golden wave is in place. It’s hard to ignore her puffy eyes and the lack of a smile on her face. “Off,” she commands, grasping the band of my boxers. I could feel my cheeks burn as I complied. She grabbed my shirt and dragged it over my shoulder before tossing it to the side. 

“Y-you now,” I stammered. I’d never been this nervous around a girl before. Then again, I’d never had a girl barge into my apartment, straddle me, and demand that I take my clothes off. She laughed wryly, skillfully sliding out of the loose pants before straddling me once more with only her white thong between the two of us. I sat up frantically. “W-wait! Are you sure you want to go straight into this?”

She nodded. “Good time, not a long time Huckleberry,” she muttered. She placed both of her hands on her chest and pushed me back with her body weight. A small gasp escaped my lips as my back hit the mattress. “Unless you don’t want this?” she continued, teasing her camisole up her chest until it revealed her grey bralette. She rolled her hips forward and I shook my head rapidly, fumbling to put the condom on. She grinned, “You do?” She leaned down and whispered in my ear, her breath tickling every nerve in my body. “Then stop stalling and give me your best.” 

She lined me up and sunk down, a small gasp escaping her lips as she smiled bittersweetly, setting the speed. I stifled a groan, unsure if it would be a turnoff. This wasn’t Maya’s first time, I gathered. She bit her lip slightly. “God...I guess everything IS bigger in Texas,” she joked. I looked away. She slowly lowered, her chest flat against mine as she moved herself. We were like this for a while, her doing most of the work and me unsure of whether it would be appropriate to take charge. 

“Josh,” she muttered beneath her breath. I tensed up, my fingers tightening around her waist. She gasped quietly. So that was what this was. I was the rebound. She’d come to me in desperation. My heart skipped a beat as the realization consumed me. I sat up, Maya still on top of me. I slid my fingers in her hair and pulled her face to mine, kissing her roughly. “Lucas.” She’d used me. She kissed me back, struggling to keep up as my tongue made its way into her mouth. I was just some gigolo to her. I pulled her flush against me, thrusting up. She gasped, loudly this time. Her hand flew to her mouth. I grabbed her hand and pulled it back down. 

“Say my name again.” I instructed her, thrusting deeply again. 

“Lucas,” she blurted. Her voice was no longer contained. She avoided my eyes, her cheeks flushed. I put my hand under her chin, turning her head to face me.

“Look at me.” I said. “Say it again.”

“Lucas!” I cut her off with a chaste kiss, swallowing the second half of my name. She moved her hips down into me as I raised them and we both groaned. We were synchronised, her muttering my name over and over as her nails split the skin of my back. She was all I’d ever wanted. She was here, in my room. She’d taken my virginity. But she’d used me, and it hurt. It hurt more than her nails as I felt trails of blood run down my back. I hissed, attacking Maya’s neck with harsh kisses. I hoped they would bruise so that everyone would see them. I hoped they would bruise so that she would think of me after our time together was up and she was done using me. She liked “Texas Lucas”: She liked the Lucas that would rearrange her organs on a one time hookup and then walk away with no feelings attached. She’d invented that person. I would never be that person with her. 

“Do you like it this way?” I choked out. 

“Yes! Lucas!” Maya yelled, her voice warbled as she surrendered to her pleasure. “I’m close…” We finish together, her pelvis flat against mine as she rides it out, grinding her hips into me tantalizingly. We breathed in tandem and our hearts beat to the same rhythm. She passed out beside me beneath the cold sheets of my bed. I hadn’t wanted to succumb to sleep for fear of her leaving, but she’d done a number on me. Tombstone-the-Bull had **_nothing_** on her. 

* * *

My bed was empty the next morning, unsurprisingly. I sighed. Yesterday felt like a nightmare. A beautiful nightmare. The girl I loved had used me for a screw because what? Her boyfriend hadn’t called her in a few days? I wasn’t complaining. Not really, anyway. I mean, I didn’t want Maya in solely a sexual capacity, but I would accept her in any way that she allowed me. I chuckled. “She called me by my name more times yesterday than she has in my almost six years of knowing her,” I thought to myself. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face and noticed something on my chest. 

“Thanks, Friar.” Maya had written the chunky letters on me in black permanent marker. I rolled my eyes and went to retrieve my phone before taking a mirror selfie. I flipped the image and sent it to Maya. 

“Real classy, Hart,” I muttered beneath my breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Lucas and Maya do the old Devil's Tango because Riley decided to screw shit up.


	8. "Mind Your Business"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas says what he needs to say for once in his life.   
> Riley needs to mind her business.   
> Maya wants to handle things.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**"Mind Your Business"**

* * *

**POV: Maya**

**March 11, 2017**

It was stupid. I know. 

But I was upset and hurt and 

  
  


...slightly in the mood?

Ugh. 

Or maybe I just wanted to know how it felt to be with Lucas. 

Well, now I do. 

And damn it, I don’t regret it. Maybe I would if anybody else cared enough to be hurt by it, but by golly the only person I could think of who might care was Josh and he was probably diving head first into Britney’s hymen by now. Well, since he was so  _ obviously  _ showing off his activities I decided to do the same. 

It was stupid and immature, but damn if it didn’t feel amazing. 

When I woke up in Lucas’s arms this morning I was planning to leave and just catch him at school, but I couldn’t find a single piece of paper in the entire house that didn’t seem gravely important so I picked up a fat black sharpie and I wrote my note on Lucas’s chest, just above his abdomen. 

He has a very nice abdomen. 

I recognized this in the moment before I grabbed my phone from the pocket of my pants. I took a picture of the words on his chest “Thank, Friar” with my hand still holding the marker just over the skin of his abs. 

I posted it to my Instagram story. I know. Impulsive. Stupid. Childish. 

The responses were instantaneous, and soon enough I could hear Lucas’s own phone begin to start blowing up with curious messages demanding clarification and verifications. It was too late to delete the story, and I didn’t want to anyway. Not until I knew Josh had seen it, anyway. 

I rummaged through Lucas’s drawer, throwing on the same red flannel he’d worn at the campfire before putting on my sweatpants, socks, and shoes again. I looked in the mirror. The flannel was enormous on me. Surely anyone who saw it would know that it didn’t belong to me. It was almost too large to be considered a fashion statement. I shrugged and left the apartment, locking the door feeling satisfied in more ways than one and hurrying to catch the subway. 

Today would be an eventful day. 

  
  
  


* * *

**March 11, 2017**

**POV: Lucas**

**(Song Suggestion:** _ Tired of Talking _ , LEON **)**

I wait until the moment just after Riley finishes unpacking her backpack before I lunge and grab Maya, stealing her away to the coat closet. She’s looking up at me, consumed by my red flannel. She’s blushing already before I’ve even begun to speak. She knows what she did. “You just left,” I said pointedly. I realize that I look defensive with my back against the wall and my arms crossed. It seems like Maya likes when I’m defensive. 

“Yeah.” She feigns confidence, but I know that if I were to wrap her legs around my waist and take control she would give up the act. There was no time for that. She knew that. She pulls my shirt up. I yanked it back down. “I guess you saw the note?” She chuckles. 

“Just like everyone else.” 

She bites her lip and looks away. “Right,” she mutters. “It was stupid. I know.”

“Don’t say things like that Maya. It wasn’t...stupid––I just wish maybe you’d have stayed a bit longer and we’d have had the chance to say goodbye face to face or...conscious?” I explained. She smiled. 

“Fair enough.”

I watch her eyes for a moment. They flicker away from me often. She’s nervous and I can tell. I’m not sure what for, though. She has never really been nervous around me before. “So, you and Josh?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, Ranger Rick,” she repeated. She shrugged. “He just stopped replying to me, my messages. I thought he was busy, but his Insta makes it seem like he’s just busy screwing all of the girls in Riley’s Barbie Dreamhouse.” I listened and nodded. I didn’t feel sorry for her: How could I feel sorry that the girl I loved was having problems with her boyfriend. 

“So, you cheated on your boyfriend?” I asked. Maya shook her head rapidly. “Long game. Not dating. He said that we could pursue other relationships, but I––I didn’t expect him to pursue them with  _ so many  _ girls and while forgetting about me.”

I leaned down and captured Maya’s lips, licking off the thin coating of mango/coconut lip gloss from her top lip. “Well then fuck him.”

“Lucas!” Maya gasped. Her eyes met mine. She’d had this same look on her face last night. I smirked. 

“I want you,” I admitted, taking her hands in my own. “I know the feeling’s mutual now...what with you forgetting every word other than my name yesterday.” The bell rang. It sounded like a horde of bees. Maya said nothing, blank faced. 

“We have to get to class, Lucas.” She stepped past me and into the hallway. I knew then that she was hiding herself from me. The same part of her that she’d been so open with the night before. Maybe she was having second thoughts. Maybe her thoughts were still plagued by...I shuddered, recalling that heartbreaking moment.  _ Josh,  _ she’d moaned in my ear. I clenched my fist into a ball and made my way to class. I knew then that I needed her. 

I was made to love her. 

  
  
***  
  


The rest of the day was a hellscape. The crowd around Maya was so dense that I couldn’t get within five feet of her, more or less get a word in that wouldn’t be relayed by some bored drama-scavenger. People wanted to know where Maya had been the night before, who she’d written those letters on. They wanted to know why those abs had said: “Thanks, Friar.” When the crowd shifted their attention to me I didn’t have an alibi of sorts. 

“Are you and Maya actually a thing now?”

“We totally knew it!”

“Called it in eighth grade!”

“Wait a minute, is that your flannel Lucas?” There were questions upon questions bombarding the two of us for minutes at a time. The only peace of mind I received was the time when talking was prohibited during class or my infrequent bathroom breaks. Only one student could go with the one hallway pass. I chose to go to the bathroom once in every class to avoid the brazen stares of my peers. While walking in the hallway I made direct eye contact with Riley and smiled, trying my best to pretend that I wanted to see her. Just because I’d made the wrong choice with her didn’t mean I hadn’t been offended by her having cheated. 

She didn’t smile at me. Her mouth was pulled into a deep frown as she approached me, smacking me across my face. When I finally regained feeling in my face and my eyes focused I saw the tears streaming down Riley’s face. “You son-of-a-gun! You said you wanted to wait until marriage you asshole!” She blurted. She struck my chest. “Then you go and sleep with my best friend?” 

I grabbed Riley’s wrist, watching as people began to take notice of her panic. A crowd began to form. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Riley,” I replied nonchalantly. I kept my smile up. “I walked Maya home yesterday and we stopped for hotdogs. She got a really bad stain on her shirt and so I gave her mine,” I lied. “Hence, the ‘thanks, Friar’.” It wasn’t a great story, but it was plausible. Riley sniffled, 

“Why were you even alone with her to begin with?”

My mind blanked. Since when did I need an excuse to hang out with a friend? Since when was I not allowed around Maya? It seemed as if everyone was in silent agreement that I wasn’t allowed to interact with her. The words came out of my mouth more briskly than I’d intended. “Mind your business.” 

Everyone gasped. Riley scoffed and glanced around. She was flustered. Nobody had ever stood up to her. Not in public, anyway. “I beg your pardon?”

I gulped, holding her stare. “Mind your business,” I repeated, my voice growing more confident as I straightened my posture. Riley had always been under the impression that nobody could talk back to her, but she had some real  _ audacity  _ to belittle me when nobody knew why we broke up. It would’ve been so easy to expose her right then and there, but I wasn’t quite at that point yet. 

Riley screamed and slammed her hand against my chest. I stood still, unmoved. “I don’t even know who you are anymore! Are you  _ my  _ Lucas or are you  _ Texas Lucas _ ?” She hollered. I crossed my arms. 

“Oh my god,” I blurted, surprising everyone. “I’m Lucas! This is who I am. There is no  _ distinction _ , Riley! There’s no choice, because there is no  _ your  _ Lucas! There is no ‘ _ Texas Lucas _ !” I turned, bumping into Farkle. 

“What the hell, Lucas?” he says quietly. I was frustrated. Everyone seemed to be unhappy with the honest and true version of myself. I didn’t understand how this could possibly affect them as much as it did Maya and I. They weren’t expected to stifle their emotions to conform to Riley Matthews’ perfect life. 

“Mind your business,” I repeated. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


**POV: Maya**

I knew at this point that we would have to talk about everything eventually. Sooner rather than later. We would need a sit down and we would need to just be honest, both of us. We needed to talk about that kiss, first and foremost. 

And that night…

Damn Huckleberry. Lashing out on everyone and staring at me that way. I’m afraid to meet his gaze. His eyes are like emeralds: viridescent vials more beautiful than anything else about him. If I looked into his beautiful green eyes I may not have ever been able to look away. 

Maybe I didn’t need to. It seemed as though things were over with Josh and, when it came to Lucas, I always had a good time. It hardly seemed like a choice. The boy three years my senior who refuses to talk to me or the boy who is actively chasing me? 

I waited until the end of the day to talk to Lucas. I couldn’t catch him before he headed off for baseball, so I texted him to come and meet me at Manhattan Superbowl at 6:00pm so that we could talk. I had lacrosse to get to, anyway.

There was a shit ton of conditioning that day and I was exhausted by the end of the practice at 5:00. I hopped on the subway and hurried home to take a hot shower. After my shower I threw on a navy blue long sleeved crop top, high waisted mom jeans, and white wedge sandals. I put on a thin layer of foundation, two brushes of blush, applied jet black cat eyes and falsies, and dragged my chapstick across my lips. I was a bit too tired to bother doing much of anything to my hair, which was still wet, and drying it would take too much time, so I brushed it back and neatly pulled it into a neat ponytail. 

I slung my back over my shoulder and opened the front door. 

“Hey, Ocean Eyes.” My heart plummeted, my jaw dropping. There in front of me was Boing. No, not Bucky McBoing-Boing: The Singular Boing...Uncle Josh. He half smiled nervously, stepping inside. I stepped in front of him. 

“Oh, no no no,” I chuckled wryly. “You don’t just get to forget about me and then invite yourself in when you’re desperate.”

“Who says I’m desperate?” Josh said, his eyebrow raising as he tilted his head, seeming amused. He was craning his neck to look at me. I realized that my face must have been fully tilted up to lock eyes with him: I probably looked like a child from up there. “ _ I’m _ not desperate Maya,” he said, sternly. He stepped past me once again, stepping into my living room and crossing over to the couch before sitting down. 

I inhaled deeply. It was jarring seeing him in person after all of this time. He looked about the same as he had when I’d seen him last save for slight bags beneath his eyes. I ignored the tinge of pity rising in my heart. “What are you talking about? Why are you here?”

“I saw your Instagram story,” Josh said matter-of-factly. 

“I saw  _ your  _ Instagram story,” I regurgitated the same words. The hypocrisy was scathing. I crossed the room to sit on my kitchen counter. “So...where are you going with this?”

Josh stood, removing his phone from his back pocket before walking just in front of me. He turned his phone around and showed me the photo from my story. “Thanks, Friar,” Josh said. I shrugged. I wasn’t sure why he was showing me something that  _ I’d  _ posted and I told him this. “You hooked up with Lucas.”

I nodded slowly. “We had sex.” Josh scowled and dragged his hand down his face. “while you were missing in action after spending time with every girl on the NYU campus.” Josh put his hands on the counter, looking down. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have ignored you for six days, okay? I didn’t want to––but Cory would’ve killed me if I hadn’t.”

“What?”

“Right.” Josh pushed a strand of hair behind my ear delicately. “Riley doesn’t know this, but her parents basically staged an intervention because  _ somehow  _ they found out that we were having sex.”

“What?!”

“I know...they cornered me in their house after dinner and told me to stay away from you,” Josh explained. He smiled, touching his forehead to mine. “That’s why I stayed away and that’s why I’m here now: I don’t give a shit what they think. We’ll never know what could’ve been if we don’t try.” I smiled at how corny he’d just been. This felt nice. The familiarity of his skin against mine was comforting. “I guess I’m here because my jealousy showed me that I need to be with you. I need to try to make us work.”

It was a sweet sentiment and it felt nice to know that I’d managed to lure him back in. I hummed in approval, earning a small laugh from Josh before he leaned in ever-so-slightly. “Hey, Maya,” he whispered.

He was so close then. Maybe I should’ve anticipated this, but I was shocked when his lips connected with mine and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me forward and against his body. I could feel his abs through the material of his collared button up. I deepened the kiss, uncertain of whether I would reflect on this as a moment of weakness. At that moment it just felt good to be wanted. 

So, when he swept me off of my feet, carried me into my room, locked the door, shut the curtains and laid me on my back on the bed, undoing his belt, I was happy not to be alone again. 

So happy that I forgot about what I’d gotten so dressed up for: Lucas. 

  
  
  


* * *

**POV: Lucas**

**(Song Suggestion:** _ Easily _ , Bruno Major)

I waited for her at the bowling alley for as long as I could. Hell, it was closing time and practically midnight by the time I left. I was beginning to get worried at around 6:30 when she still hadn’t shown up. It wouldn’t be strange for Maya to be late, but 30 minutes wasn’t her style. I went to her window after I left, but the lights were off and the curtains shut tight. Unlike Riley’s window, the window was locked tight. Perks of living on the dicier side of the neighbourhood, I suppose. I called her phone from outside and saw a light blinking faintly from just about where her chair would be in the room. 

There was the sound of footsteps and then the ringing stopped. “Hello?” she said, groggily. 

“Maya, I’m outside your window.”

“Um, it’s almost 1:00 am, Hop-Along,” she grumbled pointedly. I could see the scowl on her face in my mind and grinned. 

“Maya.” She sighed from the other end of the line and I heard the click of the window being opened, climbing in and sitting on the chair where her phone had been. “I called you. I was waiting for a long time,” I said. 

Maya rubbed at her eyes. “Yeah yeah, whatever Ranger Rick. You couldn’t have been sitting outside of that window for longer than 2 minutes––” her eyes widened immensely as her hands flew to her mouth. “Fuck! Ohmygosh! Lucas, I’m sorry! I  _ completely  _ forgot. Something came up and I just– _ shit! _ ” I closed the window and pulled the curtain back over it.

“You can explain that later, I guess. You said you wanted to talk?” She nodded slowly, biting her bottom lip. God, was she cute. I found myself licking my lips as my heart began to race. A memory of her in my room flashed through my mind. She’d bitten her lip then too. “Okay, then shoot.”

Maya inhaled deeply, folding her hands. “When you kissed me…” she hesitated. “––and I kissed you back,” she continued uneasily. “The kiss confused me because I was just about to get over you and then you go and you fuck it up and you bring all of those feelings back.”

“I’m not sorry,” I admitted, taking her hands. She withdrew them from me, backing away and leaning against the wall. “I don’t wanna make the same mistakes again.” I glanced her over again, more closely this time. She was wearing exercise shorts, an oversized green t-shirt and an off white bralette. But  _ beneath  _ this oversized t-shirt, Maya had sleeves of hickies and bruises running down her arm. Upon further inspection I noticed the trails leading down her neck as well. “I know I fucked up Maya, I get that...and I know that I’m not  _ entitled  _ to have you as my girlfriend, but if you give me a chance to show you how good for you I can be I will take it and I will never let it go,” I explained, my eyes focusing on hers. 

She shook her head inadvertently. “Let’s segway to the second thing I wanted to discuss.” She crossed one leg over the other. “I came to you yesterday and I propositioned you because I felt taken advantage of and mistreated and  _ jealous _ . Josh hadn’t messaged me in almost a week and I was hurt that he seemed to have forgotten me and moved on.” I nodded. I knew what she was trying to say. I hoped that maybe she would just leave her statements with room for interpretation and leave them unclarified, but she continued. “I used you because I was lonely and I abused your feelings for me and it was uncalled for and stupid and irresponsible.”

I cleared my throat, pulling at the collar of my shirt. “Is that the truth? That’s everything you wanted to talk about?” 

“Yeah,” she replied. But her head shook no. I smirked. Her words had hurt me more than I’d anticipated even, but I had a feeling that was the point. This was Maya’s subtle attempt to sabotage any chance of a future relationship between us. 

“Really? Because I think you’re telling me this, all of which I am willing to accept as the truth, but excluding the fact that you came to me because you knew that you wanted this too,” I countered. “You’ve been thinking about that kiss nonstop and you just had to come and find out if what you felt was just a one off. Well, it’s not.”

“Okay! Fine! I have feelings for you still, Huckleberry,” Maya retorted exasperatedly. “But I have feelings for Josh too and I was being selfish and I just wanted to get back at him and hurt him and…” She sighed, regaining her breath. “I wanted to know if I could have the same thing with you.”

“Sex?”

“No!”

“Stop beating around the bush, Maya,” I demanded, becoming frustrated by her stubbornness. I stepped closer. “Just say what I know you couldn’t put into words before. I know it because I feel it too and so I’ll just come right out and say it!” 

“You don’t understand!”

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Maya Hart.”

  
  
  



	9. Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise?  
> There is a traitor in our midst!

##  **Chapter 9: Chill**

**POV: Maya**

**April 11, 2017**

  
  


_ “I think I’m falling in love with you, Maya Hart.” _

  
  


I know what you're thinking :  _ Maya, what the hell happened after Lucas confessed his feelings for you _ ?

Well, I’ll tell you what happened. 

Shit hit the fan, that’s what happened. 

_ “Damn it, I love you, Maya!”  _ he’d blurted. 

I was standing there and then he was standing there with this faraway look in his eyes. I don’t think he knew what exactly was going to come from his mouth, but from the way it snapped shut after I figured that wasn’t in the ballpark of what he’d imagined. I hadn’t seen that coming, so the words that came from my mouth next surprised me too. 

"I'm on my period."

Lucas stared at me blankly. "What?"

"We can't have sex because I'm on my period," I lied. I ran my hands through my hair, a nervous tick I'd developed only around Lucas. I couldn't lie to him. His brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he frowned. 

"This isn't about sex, Maya," he retorted, seeming offended. "I am _in love_ with you! I want to know if you love me the same way!" I could hear him growing more frustrated the longer I went without reassuring him of my _own_ emotions. All I had to do was confirm or deny, but it felt so much more complicated than that. Even if I _did_ love him, was it fair to him for me to let him _settle?_

“I love you too, Lucas,” I said. Then he’s brought back to the moment and he smiles shyly as his cheeks and ears turn red. I felt bad for what I was going to do next. Here he was, willing to look past the markings of another guy on my body, and tell me he  _ loved  _ me...and I was the asshole standing across from him knowing that I was torturing him. “That’s why we’re such good friends. We love each other and we care too much about each other to let some stupid kiss wreck what we have.”

“Some stupid kiss, huh?” Lucas’s smile dropped. “Do you let all of your friends kiss you the way I did? Do you let all of your other friends hold you at midnight? I don’t.”

“Look, Lucas––I’m with Josh still! He came by earlier and he clarified some things and we’re back to normal,” I explained. I watch the subtle raise of his brow as he tilts his head back to look at me. He’s none too impressed.

“What’s normal about this?” Lucas inquired. “He ignores you for almost a week and you come to me...and you say I’m just a friend, but friends don’t have sex because one of them is horny.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight and I didn’t know what else to do or who to call…”

Lucas nodded slowly. “So is it going to be a thing now where whenever you and Josh are in a fight, you come to me?” he asked simply. There was no sarcasm or bite to his words. It sounded like an honest question. It caught me a bit off guard. “It sounds like you’re really trying to make the long game work with Josh, but if impulsive hookups with me are the only capacity you want us to interact in, I’m glad to be whoever you need me to be.” I looked away. 

He was giving me  _ permission  _ to use him. 

* * *

  
  


The idea seemed foolish at first and like an odd thing to say, no doubt. 

  
  


...But keeping things on the D.L. with Josh was hard. 

I’d told Shawn about Josh (excluding the information that we were active). I didn’t figure my mom was ready to know about us and I imagined she would go straight to the Matthews family to relay this information, not knowing that they’d known. And God knows if I told her that Josh’s family didn’t want him with me  _ she  _ wouldn’t endorse the relationship. 

Cory and Topanga would pop by my house frequently to do something like a wellness check and make sure that I wasn’t with Josh. They’d even begun to visit Josh’s dorm on campus, not necessarily to visit him, but to make sure I wasn’t meeting him there. They’d come close to walking in on me spread-eagled and Josh pantsless one day, but I’d heard Cory’s chipper greeting to passersby in the hallway, thrown on my skirt and dove under Josh’s roommates bed. 

But even though they narrowly missed us every time, they were hot on our trail. They were always sniffing around and investigating my relationship with Josh. Josh had gone a week and a half (closer to the end of March) without calling or reaching out to me and I was getting frustrated. Long story short, Josh blocked me on every form of social media while Cory Matthews scoured every device he encountered for evidence of our fraternizing. I grew frustrated with this lack of privacy. I mean, shit: I hadn’t signed up to be in a relationship with the **_entire_** Matthews’s clan!

It was none of the Matthews’s business who Josh was sleeping with or who I was sleeping with. Why they concerned themselves with my sexual life was beyond me and it irritated me that Josh wouldn’t just stand up to his family and say:  _ “enough _ ,  _ already!” _

But I took  _ real  _ issue with Josh when I heard  _ through  _ **_Riley_ ** that he was dating a girl from  **Gamma Gamma Nu** . She’d been scrolling through her Instagram feed when I heard her gasp quietly before trying to quickly scroll away. I snatched her phone and scrolled back up. There was a picture of him and “@Annaleigh-Anne_Taylor” from Gamma  _ mother fuckin’ _ Nu. 

Now, if he were trying to shake the Matthews Clan off of his ass, that was one thing––but pretending to date a girl from Gamma Gamma Nu, the sorority that he’d literally surrounded himself with while he ignored me, was another thing. 

I remembered what Lucas said. He wanted me and I knew that and a good part of me knew that I was only doing this because I wanted him too… I texted him and told him to wait for me after sports so that we could head home  _ together  _ and, quote unquote, “study” _.  _ I threw on my Nike pro shorts, black sports bra, and sneakers before tying my off white sweatshirt around my waist. 

  
  


“Don’t we have to take that line to get you home,” Lucas asked, pointing. I shook my head. 

“I want to go home with you tonight, Cowboy,” I replied, smiling slyly as I pressed a kiss to his cheek. He gulped as his cheeks and ears turned red. I knew I looked good: as we made small talk, sporadically throughout the ride, Lucas struggled not to glance over my body, becoming more red the more he failed. His breathing was shallow already. 

It worked. 

Lucas’s dad was on a business trip of some sort and his mother was out with friends, so we had the place to ourselves. Lucas wasted no time stripping us both down. We’d barely made it through the door before he’d removed his shirt. I ran my hands down his abs, sighing. He was more toned than Josh. We kissed sloppily and desperately until we were both painfully hot and bothered. 

It wasn’t love making this time as I laid on Lucas’s leather couch. It was pure lust and it was seeping from every pore in our bodies as we rolled around on top of one another muttering incoherently about things neither of us understood. His smell was intoxicating and his touch was hypnotic. When he touched me it sent shivers down my spine and a hunger so deep that only he could fill that void. Still, after all that, I left him again––but  _ this time _ I left a sticky note on his forehead. 

“Thank you, sorry, Maya.” 

What else do you say when you promised this would never happen again?

  
  
  


Josh only explained why he’d begun to pretend to date this girl  _ today _ , and it’s been almost half a month. Sure, I had a habit of sleeping...well, not necessarily around––more like in a concentrated area, apartment, and room in that apartment...oh, screw it: I had a habit of hooking up with Lucas, but at least I was trying to reach out to Josh in all nearly 21 days of him being M.I.A. He hadn’t tried to reach out once. Not by TracFone, Landline, or Snapchat. Not at all. 

I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but  _ damn  _ does Lucas make me forget about it all. 

* * *

**POV: Narrator**

**May 8, 2017**

“Be honest.” Maya glanced up from her textbook, her hand beneath her chin. “Do you think I’m going to pass the AP Euro Final?” Lucas looked up from his own book and grinned. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Pen. You’ve got the best ‘ _ study partner’  _ in the Tristate Area,” he replied. Maya laughed, playfully punched his shoulder. He grabbed her hand and held it in his own, maintaining eye contact. “You’re brilliant, Maya. I hope you know that.” Maya blushed. 

“You say it enough, Huckleberry.”

“Because I mean it, and I always want you to know how amazing you are to me.” He twirled his pen between his fingers swiftly. 

“Hey, do that again! How’d you do that?!” Maya exclaimed. The librarian hushed her aggressively, a small smile on her face all the same. Lucas and Maya snickered. “Oops. Forgot where we were.” Her hand was still in Lucas’s as they stole glances at one another. 

Lucas squeezed Maya’s hand, closing his book. “Speaking of us...I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over to study later.” Maya winked at him suggestively.  _ Shit!  _ “Like, actually study,” Lucas continued quickly, failing to hide the red tint to his skin as Maya mussed his hair playfully. 

“Of course, Ranger Rick. You know I need all the practice I can get.”

  
  


Riley watched from a distance as she picked out a book for her English assignment.  _ Out of the frying pan, into the Friar,  _ she thought bitterly. She wondered where she could’ve gone wrong in her friendship with Maya. All she’d ever done was encourage Maya to be herself and try to steer her in the right direction, but Maya just  _ had  _ to throw herself in hopeless situations. First Josh, then Lucas, then Josh and Lucas at the same time and now??? Riley shook her head. She wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with Maya, actually. They hadn’t been having as many sleepovers since Finals were so soon but it seemed to Riley that it was obvious Maya had been having sleepovers with someone. 

There were hickies running up Maya’s neck; there was even one behind her ear. This didn’t mean much in Riley’s eyes since she figured Maya had dozens of boys who she used, but it became suspicious when she noticed a single bruise on  _ Lucas’s  _ neck. Who would she go to about  _ this _ ? Her father had no control over what Lucas did with Maya. Sure Lucas was 19 and Maya was 18, but they were both legal and consenting and Lucas wasn’t part of the family. What did he have to lose at the end of the year from telling Cory that he  _ wouldn’t  _ stop meeting Maya?

Riley was stumped and didn’t know what to do, so she approached Maya quickly, putting her hand on her shoulder. Maya and Lucas retracted their hands, giving one another a knowing look. “What’s up, Riles?” Maya asked. Riley plastered her sweetest smile on her face. 

“Maya, lets go pack our backpacks,” she suggested. Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but Maya agreed and stood up excitedly. She’d been under the impression that something was wrong between her and Riley but was too nervous to try and pinpoint it. 

The girls walked through the hallway at a slower pace than they might usually. Riley waited until they were about 10 meters away from the library before starting to talk. “Maya, you’ve been different since the Ski Lodge. We haven’t been as close lately,” she explained. 

“What do you mean?”

“You never sleep over at my house and you don’t even talk to me anymore. You just hang out with Zay and Lucas!” Riley exclaimed. Maya shook her head. 

“I’ve been... _ busy  _ lately–I’ve been studying with them. They’re both in my AP Euro class, Riles,” Maya replied nonchalantly. “I’ve got to get a 4 or a 5 on that test. This class could be the one that brings down my GPA and determines whether I get into a good college.” Riley stopped walking, clenching her fists at her sides. Maya stopped walking as well, turning to face her. “What?”

Riley pointed in her face exasperatedly. “But you didn’t even tell me that you were having sex with my uncle!” she exclaimed. 

Maya glanced to the side, suspicion clear in her eyes. She looked back at Riley, pointing back at her. “Who says I am?” she inquired pointedly.

“You…” Riley trailed off nervously. “Um, Josh said that. He told us about the long game and that you were having sex.”

“You’re lying.”

“No I’m not,” Riley protested quickly. “Why would I lie?”

“Because you’re the one who told your father that I was having sex with Josh,” Maya realized. She clenched her fists, shaking one at Riley. “I don’t understand why you would go out of your way to tell him something like that. What about my relationship and sexual experiences was any of your business to share?”

“Don’t you get it?” Riley sneered. “You steal the way I dress, my personality, my uncle, and my boyfriend and you’re wondering why I ratted you out to my father? You’re a damn  **leech** . You’re just a stupid blonde  **leech** and I don’t know why you can’t get it through your thick head that you need to stop interfering in the balance of my life.”

Maya scoffed and turned away, crossing her arms. “Riley, Riley, Riley…” she sang, smirking. “I don’t know where exactly you fell under the impression that  _ you  _ were, in fact, the main character––but uh...I didn’t steal your style or your personality or your uncle or your” Maya made quotations around the next word. “ _ boyfriend _ .” 

Maya shook her head, clicking her tongue. She’d had enough of little playing into the notion that Riley Matthews was the queen of the world. “Your style is just the same as mine from the third grade, babe. And I couldn’t have stolen your personality because I have more of it. Nevermind the fact that you shouldn’t be jealous of your uncle going down between my legs because...that’s literally none of your business, but, then again, I don’t know why I’m surprised: You’re the one who always said you wanted to be  _ just like me _ .” Maya turned to walk away before pausing once again. 

“Oh,” she said. Turning once again, a wide grin spread from ear to ear. “And I dated Lucas first.” With that, Maya made her way back to the library, leaving Riley with her jaw dropped and her eyes hot with salty tears. 

* * *

  
  


**POV: Riley**

It couldn’t be true, what she said. All of those things. 

_ You’re the one who always said you wanted to be  _ **_just like me_ ** _ … _

It was true. I’d always admired how headstrong and effortlessly cool Maya was. She was coordinated and beautiful and funny and I was her mirrored image. I was her flip side. But didn’t everyone want the quirky girl? Didn’t anybody want the girl with a stable home life and the optimistic outlook on life? It seemed like the answer was no. 

Yes, I’d always wanted to be like Maya Hart...but no I’d never become her to steal everything she cared about. Maybe Maya was right. Maybe I shouldn’t have told my father about her and Josh...but maybe Maya should’ve asked me how I felt about her dating my uncle  _ before  _ she went through with it. Maybe she should’ve asked me how I felt about her “studying” with my ex boyfriend––her ex boyfriend?  _ Shit! _

Everything is so  _ fucked.  _ I sighed and went to the bathroom, using a rough paper towel to dry my face after splashing it with a bit of water. I knew I had to fix things with Maya soon or else it would be a long month before graduation. 

* * *

  
  
  


**POV: Maya**

I went to go back to the library, but I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Riley and I had never had a fight of this caliber before. It was a bit scary knowing that my longest friendship might come crashing down because of a stupid love...well, I guess it’s a triangle and Riley is just the odd one out. But that’s nobody’s fault but chance. 

She’d had her chance with Lucas after all. Then I began to wonder if Lucas had done any of the things they’d done together with Riley. Just the thought was trifling enough to send me sprinting to the bathroom. I was half expecting to vomit and half expecting to find blood on my crotch but was surprised to find neither.  _ Damnit.  _ I thought.  _ Just the thought of her with Lucas makes me nauseous.  _

I’m gaining a bit of weight from all of the dinners and evenings out I’ve spent with the boys. The boys being Lucas and Josh. Never simultaneously, of course...Though that would make for an amazing and mind bogglingly hot night. 

Things were going steadily with Josh and I was anxious to see what was ahead for us. It had been almost a month of smooth sailing. Sometimes Josh dropped off the grid, but, for the most part, we’d been doing well recently. I hadn’t had to rush over to Lucas’s house for anything other than a movie once in a while and occasional snuggling when I felt a bit lonely, but we hadn’t hooked up since April 11th and I figured that was probably for the best. 

Our friendship was fulfilling, though I couldn’t help but feel a hint of yearning for a more stimulating touch than his arm wrapped around my shoulder. Once I was certain that I wasn’t going to hurl and the thoughts of Riley and Lucas in an  _ entanglement  _ surpassed, I made my way back to the library where Lucas was still sitting, his face up close to the AP Euro textbook as he studied. I watched him from a distance, appreciating his classically handsome face and his sharp side profile. His eyes fluttered over to me and his tan cheeks began to glow red as we made eye contact. He smiled, his eyes closing the way they did when he was really happy. I smiled back, taking the seat next to him rather than the one across that I’d been in before. 

“Welp. Catch me up, Hop-Along.”

  
  
  


* * *

**POV: Lucas**

Sitting across from Maya on my bed gave me mixed feelings. On one hand, I was glad that our late night encounters hadn’t affected our ability to interact with one another. On the other hand, I was finding it difficult to focus on the textbook in front of me. Her hair hung down in her face as she read down the page. I couldn’t help but wonder…

“Does Josh know you’re here?” I asked. 

Maya glanced up at me and shook her head. She looked back down and wrote down a note. 

“No.” I nodded slowly. No surprise there. Things had been fairly comfortable between Maya and I recently. I imagine seeing someone naked makes them less prone to awkwardness. Zay told me that I shouldn’t hurt myself by spending every waking moment around Maya. Maybe he was right, but I couldn’t help but want to be surrounded by her beauty. “Is there a reason why?”

“I told him about us, Lucas,” Maya admitted. My mouth opened slightly and I leaned back against the bed head, crossing my arms. She rested her chin in her hand. “He knows about the first time.” This made me less anxious but more curious. 

“But he doesn’t know about April?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Maya shrugged. “He doesn’t need to know about that. We don’t need to tell anyone.” She took my hand and squeezed it softly, smiling shyly as her pinks turned pink. I sighed, squeezing her hand in return. “Don’t look so sad, cowboy,” Maya purred, cupping my cheek in her hand. The palms of her hands were soft and warm. I leaned into her touch. 

I looked into her eyes. I had to know. I closed my textbook. “Maya, I love you,” I professed. She averted her eyes and inhaled sharply before closing her own book and shoving it into her backpack awkwardly. I took her hand and she continued to avoid my eyes. “Please. Tell me if you feel the same. I need to know.”

“Lucas…”

“Please? Maya,” I begged. “Tell me.” She looked up into my eyes and leaned in, connecting our lips in a passionate kiss. I deepened it, biting her bottom lip lightly. 

“I do love you, Lucas,” she whispered. 

“Then tell  _ him _ ,” I replied desperately. Maya shrugged, pulling me down on top of her and kissing me once again. Our hands began to roam each other again and I thought for a moment that we might take things too far the way we always did, but something didn’t feel right and I opened my eyes. “Maya, your nose is bleeding.”

Maya’s hand flew to her face as it became scarlet. A small trail of blood was running from her nose. “Shit!” she muttered, jumping off of the bed and hustling into the bathroom. I heard the lock click before I could so much as turn. 

* * *

**POV: Maya**

I was so embarrassed. Of course I had to have a nose bleed in front of Lucas. I’d never gotten a nose bleed in front of  _ Josh  _ before. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t remember ever getting a nose bleed in my life. Mortified, I hurried into the bathroom and locked the door. I didn’t want Lucas seeing my face which was, undoubtedly, flushed red. 

After washing off my face and making sure that I was, in fact, not dying, I made my way out of the bathroom, gathered my things and gave Lucas a chaste kiss on the forehead before making a mad dash out of his apartment, booking it down the street, and running into the subway. As I waited for the subway to arrive, a ten minute wait for whatever reason, I still felt the butterflies in my stomach. But God, if they were butterflies they were fluttering violently in my gut. Maybe I would throw up again, I feared. My entire body felt like hell, actually. Even my ankles hurt. I had to sit on a bench. I glanced at the time on my phone, convinced that it had been more than ten minutes. 

_ Almost 10:00 _ and... _**May 8th**?? _

No, there was no way it was May eighth.

No, because if it was then…

I suspected a greater issue up ahead. 


	10. I Was Made To Love Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truly just teenagers being angsty as hell.   
> PROM NIGHT! WHOOP WHOOP!

##  **Chapter 10: I was made to love her**

**May 24, 2017**

“Guys, come on! Tell me where you’re going!” Riley insisted, a great smile on her face as she waved around her giant envelope. “I’m going to NYU! There! Now you guys know where I’m going! It’s only fair that I know where  _ you’re  _ going!”

Farkle smiled and glanced over at Smackle. She nodded at him, seeming to read his mind. “We’re heading to Princeton,” she said matter-of-factly. Riley gasped, though no one was really surprised. Smackle turned to Lucas, a sly grin on her face. “What about you, freak face?”

“Yeah, what about you  _ freak face _ ?” Farkle repeated. 

Lucas rolled his eyes. He was proud of the colleges he’d gotten into, but Maya hadn’t come to school yet and he’d been wanting to share the news with her first. “Well…” he drawled, stalling for as long as possible. His friends all leaned closer. “I got into Harvard, UCLA, and the University of Chicago.”

Everyone’s jaw dropped. Lucas saw their reactions. He knew they’d only seen him as a “freak face” or the  _ pretty boy _ or the  _ athlete _ . They’d never really seen him as a star student. Sure, it was probably more shocking considering he’d been expelled from a school in his past. But that was “nothing a scrubbed record couldn’t handle,” his Pappy Joe had told him.

Zay cheered, pumping his fist. “Yo! I’m going to UCLA! Come on bro! Come with me! It’ll be  _ the boys  _ again!” Lucas smiled. He would consider it. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go yet. Harvard was closer, but only to New York. Lucas wanted to know where Maya would be. He wanted to be at the college closest to her. 

  
  
  


Maya didn’t turn up to school until the second period. Everyone noticed that something was off about her. Her walk was different, almost limp like, and she was wearing flat shoes. Oh yes. Something  _ must  _ be wrong. Lucas watched from inside of his English classroom as Maya walked through the hallway, hugging her backpack to her chest. She was wearing black sweatpants and an oversized red school sweatshirt. Her hair was in a low and messy bun on her head. She looked pale, Lucas noticed. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, running into the hallway to catch up to Maya. He had a few questions he wanted to ask her. 

Prom was just around the corner and Lucas wanted nothing more than to ask Maya to be his date. With that blonde beauty on his arm, he would be invincible. He saw Maya, just about to turn the corner at the end of the hallway, and ran to her. “Maya!” he said. She turned to look at him as he finally stood in front of her. “Mornin’, ma’am,” he said, tipping an imaginary hat. 

Maya snorted and rolled her eyes, a faint smile on her face. “GoOd MoRniN’ Ma’Am,” she mocked, her Texan accent overly strong. Lucas grinned. Before, when he hadn’t understood it, he’d had a love hate relationship with her teasing. Now that he knew she loved him, he wanted nothing more than to hear her voice. 

“Where were you this morning, Penelope?”

“At home. I overslept,” Maya confessed. She looked away. “I’m so tired, Huckleberry.” Lucas chuckled, as she pretended to fall asleep on his shoulder. Maya had seemed a bit fatigued lately. Senioritis, he assumed. 

“Must be the studying,” Lucas teased, winking. Maya playfully smacked his shoulder, holding in a laugh. 

“You’re a fiend, Friar.”

Lucas blushed. He loved their little talks. There was no sense of urgency. There was a nothingness in their words but an inseverable connection between them. Even now, they were in a comfortable silence with one another as they looked at one another. Maya knew that look on Lucas’s face. If she didn’t avert her eyes he would have his way with her right then and there against the lockers. And oh how she wished she didn’t care about graduating. She broke their stare. 

“Right. I have few questions for you, Maya,” Lucas remembered, smiling. “First off, where are you going for college?”

Maya shrugged. “Undecided.” Lucas nodded, understandingly. “You?” Lucas shrugged.

“Haven’t decided yet. Anyway, remember how I asked you, like, three months ago, if you wanted to go to prom with me?” Maya nodded. “Well, um...do you?” Lucas stammered, his cheeks growing hot. He should’ve known that she would always have him spell it out. 

“Oh,” Maya sighed. She put her hand up as if to run it through her hair. A nervous tick that she’d developed ever since Texas. Lucas was glad that she had such an emotional response to him. He could tell exactly how she was feeling. She couldn’t hide it from him the way she had before. “I can’t. Josh and I are going,” she admitted, flustered. 

“You and Josh,” Lucas repeated, disappointedly. In other words… “You didn’t tell him?” Maya nodded slowly and Lucas sighed. He was disappointed, but not surprised. Despite the person everyone imagined Maya to be, he knew that her tough girl act was nothing but exactly that: an act. A facade. She was an emotional and good person. She didn’t want to walk around hurting people’s feelings. Especially not Josh. He was important to her, and Lucas respected that to some degree. He wrapped his arms around Maya's neck and leaned down, kissing her forehead. “That’s fine,” he muttered. He smiled as genuinely as he could muster. “Get to class, Clutterbucket.”

Maya rolled her eyes and tipped on her toes, kissing Lucas’s chin. She blushed. “Guess I’m Riley now.” Lucas laughed out loud, recalling the awkward subway kiss with Riley...if you could even call it a kiss.  _ Yikes _ . 

Then the two went their separate ways. Lucas sat in his English classroom, twirling his pen between his fingers as he watched the clock.  _ Only thirty more minutes until I get to see her beautiful face again.  _

* * *

**POV: Riley**

**(Song Suggestion:** Prom Queen, Beach Bunny)

There she is. She’s coming in, dressed like a homeless drug addict. She’s late and she doesn’t give an excuse for why. She’s quiet in class and falls asleep in less than five minutes, her chin resting in her hand as she leaned on the desk. 

I smile to myself. That’s my Maya. That’s the real Maya. I wonder if she has gotten into any colleges, but I hold my tongue since we are, after all, in class. And it’s not my dad’s class. Recently Maya had been acting more and more like herself. Skipping class, barely participating when she  _ did  _ go to class, or even falling asleep. Maya asked to use the bathroom nearly three times during class. 

Maybe she’d suddenly come to remember life before she’d become me. Maybe she remembered when things were just  _ Riley  _ and  _ Maya.  _ Our dynamic had always worked. Riley and Maya against the world: the good girl with the good life and the bombshell bad girl with nothing going for her. Like Cory and Shawn! 

I don’t know what colleges she applied to or which one, if any, she got into. It’s far-fetched to think that she would apply to NYU knowing how I feel about her and my uncle, but it’s even more far-fetched considering it’s  _ Maya _ . Why would she bother applying to NYU knowing good and well who she is? Poor, not very smart, and with nothing to fall back on besides  _ me.  _ Her amazing best friend who only wants what is best for her.

I walk up to her after class and she smiles so I smile back just as wide...but then she walks away and continues to her locker as though I am a stranger. It became clear to me that I would have to be the one to repair the relationship, for once. I approached her locker, still smiling. “Peaches!” She glanced up from her locker as she unzipped her backpack and began to arrange her books. “Prom! Lets go to it!” Maya frowns and stops arranging. She closes her locker and leans against it. 

“Oh, Riles. I would, but Josh already asked me,” Maya explains. She seems as though she genuinely would’ve liked to go with me to the prom. This is reassuring and I am smiling so broadly I’m not sure how there is space for anything but my mouth. Then I repeat the words she’d just said my smile diminishes slightly.  _ Josh already asked her… _

I bit my tongue and chuckled nervously. “Cool!” I squawk, my arms flailing wildly. I figure that if Maya is so close to being herself again she will eventually come to her senses and leave my family alone. Maya’s eyebrows raise. 

“Really?” Maya says, clearly in doubt. I nod rapidly. “Well, great!” She smiles. “But who will  _ you  _ go with?” This is a good question. I’m not sure who I will go with. Farkle and Smackle know they’re going together, though everyone knows Smackle would prefer Lucas. Maybe I could go with Zay...oh! But if  _ Maya  _ was going with  _ Josh _ , who would be going with Lucas? 

Things between Lucas and I are tense. We haven’t had a normal conversation since the confrontation in the hallway. We say “hi” and “bye”...well, actually, I guess we  _ have  _ had a few pretty normal conversations. I suppose nothing has changed. 

Maybe, then, things have righted themselves in the universe. 

I decide, then, to ask Lucas to the prom. It will be just like the eighth grade semi formal. I don’t tell Maya this, though. “I’ll figure it out,” I chirp, taking Maya’s hand.

* * *

**POV: Lucas**

**May 30, 2017**

**(Song Suggestion)** Dance, Baby; _ Boy Pablo _

I hadn't imagined prom night going the way it did. How was I supposed to know? I hadn't been sure of anything in my life ever since I'd moved to New York. Well, I knew I had to act like a saint if I had any chance of getting into college, so I guess that's a lie. Let me reiterate: I hadn't been sure of anything in my life since a little blonde girl came over to me on the subway, became my girlfriend, broke up with me, and then threw her friend at me all in the span of 5 seconds. Nothing in my life had been normal or predictable since that moment except for one thing:

I knew that I was made to love Maya Hart and she would be the one person place or thing that I'd be sure of and never let go. 

I agreed to go to the prom with Riley, but only because Zay decided to go with Missy Bradford and I couldn’t use the “going with a friend” excuse. 

Oh, and maybe also because I didn't want to risk Josh having any shot at a romantic moment with Maya.

Maybe.

Just perhaps. 

Maybe a little. 

Maybe a _lottle..._

Riley wanted to wear yellow, just the way she had at the eighth grade semi formal. I had no doubt that she would look beautiful, but the fact of the matter was that she wasn’t Maya. She wasn’t the girl that I’d fallen in love with in middle school and she wasn’t the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with in any romantic capacity. 

I wore a classic black suit and black dress dress shoes. A simple look. I figured that was what Riley expected. The simple cookie cutter perfect aesthetic. The theme for the prom was “Universal”. No, not Universal like the Studios in Florida. Universal as in  _ space  _ and the planets. Of course, tables were arranged by  _ planets.  _ It almost made too much sense that the table Riley and I were at was  _ Mars.  _ I swore under my breath.

Maya was there, her arm linked with Josh’s. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a black shawl lapel. Maya looked more beautiful than anything or one I had ever seen. Her skin had an ethereal glow beneath the blue lights. Her wavy hair was like strands of 24 karat gold. It was styled as though she were a goddess. She wore small pearls in her ears. Her eyeshadow was a soft ombre blush and her eyeliner in a sharp cat eyes. She wore a natural lip color. 

But her dress. It was beautiful on her. She looked like a princess. In her blue tulle ball gown dress. Lace detail vines and small rhinestones trailed from the waistline of her dress like rain down a window. The top of the dress was a lace plunging v-line with a translucent blue tulle shawl. Her heels must have been six inches tall, because she was nearly the same height as Josh. I wanted to go to her and hug her and kiss her and tell her that I wanted to be there with her. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t with Riley for any reason other than her having asked me, but Josh seemed to follow the line of my eyes and led Maya in the opposite direction. 

My eyes fell on Cory Matthews, a chaperone of the dance in a sense, as he stood in the corner, clearly upset. I followed his glare and it led back to Josh. It seemed like everything did in one way or another. 

* * *

  
  


I’m faking a smile now. I’ve been here for a while now. Josh leads Maya out onto the dance floor and they’re dancing around one another with big smiles and loud laughter. He spins her into his arms. 

I’m fed up with this. I just wanna go home. But damn, I can’t tear my eyes away from Maya, not even for a moment. I can’t leave her with Josh. I can’t make it easier for him. I cross the floor, yanking Riley and Zay over with me. I step between Maya and Josh, take her hands in mine, and whisper, “Dance with me, baby.”

The room is electric. We’re dancing beneath hanging strings of star lights and giant paper mache planets and she looks so beautiful as the light bounces off of her pale skin I almost lose my breath and forget myself. I want to kiss her so bad. Maya looks bewildered, glancing over my shoulder at Josh. I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep my eyes on Maya. 

“What?” she exclaimed incredulously. 

“Dance with me!” I repeat, grinning. I lead her a few feet away from Josh as Riley and Zay dance around Josh. I can feel Riley’s eyes now, but I know they can’t hear us over the pounding bass of the speakers. “What does he have that I can’t give to you?” 

“It’s not about what he has. It isn’t about what  _ you  _ have. It’s not about any of that,” Maya replied, still dancing as she stole glances at our friends a few feet away. Maybe it  _ wasn’t  _ about any of that. Maybe it wasn’t about money or life experience: I had money and she’d experienced a lot of shit. But there was something keeping her from just cutting things off with either of us. Maybe the fact that I wouldn’t go down fighting. I still wouldn’t. I would always fight for Maya. 

“I could give the world to you if you turn him down for me,” I reassured her, standing still. I squeezed her hands. “I want you. I love you. Maya, I need you.” She stared up into my eyes. I pressed my forehead against hers. 

  
  


“Maya!” Both of us looked in the direction of the voice. It was Farkle. He was grinning mischievously. He glanced over at me. “You’ve been nominated for prom king.” He looked back at Maya. “You’ve been nominated for prom queen!” Maya and I glanced at one another. She looked panicked. 

“You have to go to the History classroom where all the other nominees are,” Smackle instructed us. I wondered who had put them up to this. Whether or not we won, Maya and I would be alone and away from Josh. That was all that really mattered to me. Riley scurries over, noticing the crowd. 

“What’s going on?”

Smackle glanced at Farkle. Riley wouldn’t like to hear this. “You have to walk Maya to the history classroom. She was nominated for prom queen and they’re about to announce the winners.”

“Maya was nominated,” Riley repeated. She paused as if to imply a question she knew was inappropriate to ask:  _ What about me? _ Smackle pursed her lips, contemplating what the best thing to say might be. She nodded slowly. 

“They probably forgot to tell us about you. You should go with Maya and check.” Riley accepted this explanation and hustled off with Maya. The two of them were speaking, Riley more excitedly than Maya. 

Suddenly, I felt a smack on my back. I glanced over my shoulder just as Josh Matthews walked up to stand beside me. “Prom king, huh?” he said, smirking. I nodded slowly. “Better hurry up. You heard them: they’re about to announce the winners. Hey! Better yet, I’ll walk with you and the two of us can have a little chat. 

“Great,” I muttered. 

* * *

**POV:** Narrator

( **_Song Suggestion_ ** : I Was Made To Love Her, J Chosen/Kenny P)

  
  


Lucas and Josh walked in silence for a while and stopped about 30 feet down the hall from the History classroom. Josh spoke first leaning against a few lockers and looking at Lucas. “Maya is my girlfriend,” he stated. “We’re together.”

“Maybe together at the prom. Maya says that you’re in the long game, so which is it?”

“It’s her and I,” Josh retorted bluntly. “Stay away from her, Friar.”

“Don’t embarrass yourself and think that that would keep Maya and I apart, Matthews. I know her better than anyone else.”

Josh smirked. “I know you think you do.”

“What do you know that I don’t?”

“I know that you kissed her. I also know that you two hooked up twice when I was…” Josh hesitated. “Of the grid.”

Lucas crossed his arms and shrugged. “And why exactly is it that you would drop off the grid?” He waited for a response. 

“My brother disapproved of it...but I told him time and time again. I love her!” Josh explained. “And she loves me!”

“I was made to love her...and build my world around her,” Lucas replied coolly. He crossed his arms. 

“I know that my baby loves me.”

“...but I was  _ made  _ to love her––to worship and adore her all through thick and thin.” 

“You don’t seem to understand: Our love just won’t end. I love her.”

“ _ I  _ love her!” Lucas snarled. “My girl loves me!”

“My baby  _ needs  _ me––” Josh started. 

“...and I ain’t goin’ nowhere!” Lucas interrupted bluntly. He stepped forward, Josh doing the same. They were nearly chest to chest now, staring on another in the eyes. Lucas had an inch on Josh and he’d never lost a fight before, but the look in Josh’s eye gave him the distinct feeling that a round with him wouldn’t be a simple feat. “Even if this city crumbles–if this  _ whole world  _ tumbles! I’ll still be standing by her side!” 

Josh rolled his eyes. “Back down, Friar,” he sneered. Lucas shoved Josh back. Josh shoved him in retaliation and soon enough the two were spinning as they held onto each other's shirts. 

“Stop!” Maya pulled Lucas away from Josh. The two boys were breathing unevenly as they held each other’s stares. “Riley, can you?” Maya trailed off, focusing on keeping Lucas at bay as he lunged forward again. Riley ran from behind Maya and wrapped her arms around Josh from behind, pulling him away. 

“Come on, let's go,” she muttered, dragging him back into the gymnasium. 

Maya looked up at Lucas as he stared after Josh, still upset. “Lucas. Come on...we have to go to the history room. They’re lining people up for the big entrance,” she explained, attempting to remain composed. Lucas let her lead him into the room. They would be walking in together, naturally. Maya squeezed his hand. She was worried for him. She’d never actually seen him get like this. 

Lucas was upset, but when he felt Maya’s little hand squeeze his he looked down at her and he couldn’t help but smile at her. She was beautiful. He felt bad for worrying her. No matter how strong Maya thought she was, he could tell beneath her big bright smile that she was worried about what she’d just broken up in the hallway. 

They walked in, arms connected as they made their way onto the stage with the other nominees: Missy Bradford, Zay Babineaux, Darby Walker, Yogi, Sarah Carpenter, and Billy Ross. The lights on the stage were blinding. Maya struggled to resist the urge to shield her eyes. 

Of course, Cory Matthews was the man to present the results of the voting. As Maya looked out at the crowd of people she spotted a lemon drop dress. Riley Matthews. Her mouth was pulled into a straight line and her fists were clenched. Josh reached for her hand, but she smacked his hand away. Maya could see Farkle and Smackle standing just in front of the two Matthews with fingers crossed as they whispered excitedly to one another. This was one of those moments Maya’s mom had always told her about: the type of moment that never happens twice: like a breakout role. Not the Katy Clutterbucket knew anything about that. 

“And now, the moment I’m sure you’ve  _ all  _ been waiting for,” Cory said excitedly. He opened up an envelope, pulling out the paper inside slowly. He read it over, taking his own sweet time. “Your prom king and queen... _ are _ …” Zay stepped out of the line, snatching the paper from Cory and stepping in front of him as he read. 

“Maya Hart and Lucas Friar!” Zay exclaimed, clapping his hands as he did his handshake with Lucas and side hugged Maya. Lucas smiled, but Maya looked shell shocked. Her face grew pale as a faculty member placed a heavy crown on her head. Before she knew it, Lucas had closed the space between them and connected their arms. “Y'all go on and get your slow dance on!”

Lucas and Maya made their way down the stairs of the stage swiftly. The crowd cleared, forming a circle around them. Lucas connected his hands behind Maya’s waist as she rested hers at the small of his neck. She seemed uneasy, glancing around and down at her own feet. She looked everywhere but in Lucas’s eyes. He noticed this and tilted her chin up with his hands. “Well, would you look at that. I’m king of the world,” he joked, pressing their foreheads together. “And you’re Miss Universe: The most beautiful and brilliant girl in the world.” Maya blushed and shook her head. 

“Stop it,” she mouthed, batting her eyelashes. “Don’t make me crush your toes, Huckleberry.” Lucas chuckled. Maya had never known how to accept compliments, probably due to the fact that, up until recently, she hadn’t been allowed to be good at anything to begin with. 

Lucas spun Maya, much to her surprise, before pulling her back in. He heard people whispering around them. They had everyone’s attention. He decided to dip her, and Maya let out a small gasp. Lucas slowly brought her back upright, supporting her neck carefully. He recognized the look in her eyes. It was the one that made her pull away at the campfire in Texas: a cautious sense of lust. But everyone was watching and Lucas wanted them to know what he’d known all of along and what Maya had been so willing to ignore. He leaned in and kissed Maya tenderly on the lips. He could hear the various gasps and whispers. Hell, he could almost hear Riley petulantly trembling with rage. He didn’t care. As they pulled away, Lucas admitted, “It was always you, Maya.” 

Josh lunged forward, but Zay had already anticipated Lucas’s actions and crossed the floor, sticking his arm out and nearly clotheslining Josh as he walked into it. “Don’t do it.” he said. He looked Josh in the eyes. “Don’t give her a reason to cut you out forever,” he warned him, earnestly. Josh nodded and backed up, still watching Maya. 

“I’ll see myself out,” he grumbled, skulking off through the door and into the flashing lights of a New York City night. 

* * *


	11. What's Your Flavor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation and Graduation Party tingz. Important event!!!

##  **Chapter 11) What’s Your Flavor?**

**_POV: Maya_ **

I’m getting a bit anxious now. Sure I’d told my mom not to cry, but now I wasn’t entirely certain I’d be able to make it across that stage. I’d graduated. I’d gotten into college. Hell, I’d made it to eighteen. That was a shocker in and of itself. I’d accepted long ago that I would always be a street urchin who never amounted to anything, but now I had options and I wholeheartedly loved Riley for this, but part of me hated Lucas for introducing me to a hope for love. 

He kissed me at the Prom and, for a moment my life was a movie. A romance movie where nothing could come between us but ourselves. Of course, the moment had to end, and it did. But it lasted longer than when our lips parted. It lasted until I was standing upright with my head over my heels once again. 

He doesn’t know. No one knows exactly how terrible I am, but I do: I know that I’m going to ruin his life. So I decided, when my head was above my heels again, that I would love him as fervently as I could while I could still manage. I smiled at him with my eyes and I let him hold my hand and I danced with him for the rest of the night because I loved him and I couldn’t help but know that he loved me more–– 

and that made me evil for staying around.

Nothing has changed. Two weeks later and nothing has changed. Riley is upset with me, Lucas is in love with me, Josh loathes him, and Zay loves it: nothing has changed except for the proof of Lucas’s love for me every week. Every day even. He knows how strange I’ve been acting. I tell him I love him every day. Probably more times than three. At first he responds with a smile and says it back. By now, two weeks later, he responds with a suspicious furrowed brow but returns it still. 

Even today he is watching me, his stare analytical. We’re talking to Farkle and Zay. I’m standing next to Zay and him across from us next to Farkle. I’m anxious as I catch his eyes, flashing my brightest smile. His gaze falters and he glances away momentarily before looking back, his cheeks becoming a flushed red. He smiles awkwardly back at me. He tends to do this when I am pleasant with him: He wilts. He adjusts his turquoise bolo tie. He’s wearing khakis and a black blazer with black dress shoes and, believe it or not,  _ spurs _ . He would’ve worn a cowboy hat too if the school would let him. 

All of the girls are wearing white dresses. Riley’s is a long white maxi dress and she has daisies in the braided crown of her hair. She always looked like this to me: like an angel. I’m wearing a white lace v-neck dress with flared sleeves and almost six inch tall clear heeled sandals. I’m almost as tall as Riley, but I’m still about three inches short of Lucas. He was quick to remind me of this. 

He’s a beautiful guy and a good guy and I feel guilty for all I’ve done to him and all that I will likely do. I feel my stomach lurch and my hands fly to my mouth as I close the distance between me and a trash can before hurling everything I’d eaten that morning. I couldn’t stomach the idea that everything was about to change. New places, new people, new friends. I would have to start over. But hopefully not more than once if I played my cards right. 

His hand is on my back and Riley’s hands are holding my hair back. She’s a good friend: She may be upset, but she’s a good friend. 

Soon enough we’re walking in. In pairs, naturally. Zay Babineaux and Missy Bradford, Riley Matthews and Farkle Minkus, Lucas Friar and Maya Hart since, by my own luck, there was no one with a “G” last name. We’re walking in with our arms linked and suddenly, in my white dress, I felt more panic than ever. Actually physically walking down the aisle with Lucas Friar. I scoffed aloud. He looked down at me. “You alright down there, Pen?” He muttered. I avoided his eyes. and nodded rigidly. 

“Obviously, Lucas.” Right, I should’ve said Ranger Rick. Maybe Hop-Along. I feel his gaze grow more intense and I wonder if by some miracle he has come to his senses about me. We’re sitting on the stage now, sitting beside one another as our families sit in the crowd and cry. We’re graduating. Oh God, we’re graduating. 

  
  
  
  


**_POV: Lucas_ **

  
  


If you’d asked me in eighth grade where I thought I’d be on the night of my graduation, Missy Bradford’s party wouldn’t have crossed my mind. But a “lovely little get together” at Riley’s house had never been my cup rodeo: There’s hardly any life in a tea party for nine when two of the attendees are parents, one doesn’t know how to multiply yet, and Zay has no intention of coming. 

Zay was going to go to Missy Bradford’s party. And, though I get the sneaking impression no one is comfortable with me distancing myself from Riley, I am also getting the sneaking impression that I would only make the environment tense. Still, seeing Maya look so fidgety was making me uneasy and I didn’t want to leave her side tonight.

We’re about to leave the school and I see her making her way over with Riley. I catch her hand and pull her back to my side before whispering in her ear. “Roll your ankle. ‘Kay? 1, 2, 3, go.”

She snickers before her face drops and her ankle lifts from the ground. She reaches down, seizing it and hopping up and down, grabbing my shoulder with her other hand.

“Ow!!!! My aNKLE!!! It hurts!!” She howled, earning the attention of everyone around us. More importantly, earning Riley’s attention. Riley turned and hustled over to us. 

“What happened?” she asked. 

Maya pointed at her ankle. “I rolled my ankle, Riles! It hurts!  **_It hurts_ ** ! I don’t think I’m gonna make it!” She exclaimed, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Zay stepped towards her, putting her arm over his shoulder. 

“Oh yeah! It looks SWOLLEN,” Zay added, glancing over at Riley’s now concerned expression. “You should definitely  _ not  _ walk on that. Or stand. Or even  _ sit _ .” He reached over to Riley, patting her shoulder. “I don’t think she’ll be able to make it out of bed for  _ days _ . She might not even be able to come to your party tonight!”

Maya gasped. “No! I have to be at the party! It’s our graduation night! I can’t miss the rom-com binging and duck duck goose that you planned Riley, right?” she protested emptily. She casted a determined expression over at Riley. Even I was almost convinced. Perhaps she’d gotten Katy’s acting gene. 

Riley shakes her head in response and sighs. “Maya, I can’t have you limping around in the middle of Duck-Duck-Goose like a dead weight...And you should probably rest your ankle, so you really  _ should  _ just  _ stay home  _ tonight,” she reasoned. “We can have a girls sleepover tomorrow night before everyone leaves?” Maya nodded quickly and Riley smiled. “Well, I’ll just FaceTime you so that you don’t miss too much of the fun!”

“Of course!” Maya said disingenuously. As Riley stalked off to find her parents, Maya, Zay and I celebrated the success of Maya’s escape before hustling off to catch the soonest subways and connections to reach Missy’s enormous house in New Jersey. 

  
  


**_POV: Lucas_ **

The party is packed. I mean,  _ really  _ packed. I’m pretty sure there are people who aren’t seniors yet and maybe some college students scattered about as well. Missy’s parents were busy chaperoning a few too many bottles of wine on their yacht to make sure that the party didn’t grow out of hand. For the most part, it didn’t, save for Yogi falling head first out of the second story window. He landed in a bush: He is fine. 

I’ll admit, I had a few. Not as many as Zay (who was in the corner smoking a blunt with all of the other jocks), but more than Farkle and Smackle who were just about unable to stand after a single shot of tequila. I laugh as they stumble over one another, fumbling as they kiss one another in an awkward haze of alcohol and the fumes of weed. They’re innocent and perfect for one another. Almost exactly the same person, but it works for them unlike Riley and I. Some people are playing beer pong and others playing Dance Dance Revolution, but I have two left feet and a temper when it comes to losing. 

I’m sitting down on the couch in Missy’s basement with Maya as people swarm to the area they seem to have deemed the dance floor. I’m sitting at the end of the couch as she rests her legs on top of mine, seeming deep in thought as she stares down at her feet. She’s holding my hand and it feels odd but comforting not having to fight for this luxury. 

“Let’s play ‘What’s Your Flavor?’!” Missy suggests. 

I’d never heard of the game before and I saw Maya roll her eyes, the faintest of smiles on her face. “Do you want to play?” I ask her. She shrugs. “Let’s go play. Let’s do it.” I smile and squeeze her hand, leading her over to the large circle forming on the floor. 

“Do you even know how to play, Sundance?” she asks, seeing straight through me  _ as always.  _ I shake my head honestly and she tells me sweetly, “It’s like ‘Would You Rather’. You choose between  _ this  _ or  _ that _ .”

That game goes pretty well and I think, at this point, people are beginning to sober up. Missy stands up from the circle, yanking her ridden up skirt back over her bottom. She grins. “Lets play 21 questions!” she suggests. 

“Girl, there are like 300 people in the basement alone,” Zay retorted. The crowd of people laugh. Missy rolls her eyes at this before sending a subtle wink at Zay. I guess things with Vanessa didn’t work out after all. 

“Okay, how about 600 questions? Or, at least, everyone who wants to play gets to ask a question?” Missy says. The participants dwindle to around 30, some already college students and others from our graduating class. Farkle and Smackle manage to stumble their way from only G-o-d knows where to participate. 

Farkle asks the easy question: “ **If you could have superpowers, would you choose invisibility or mind reading?”** Most people say mind reading, but Maya surprises me by saying invisibility.  _ People are just as honest in their words as they are within their own heads,  _ she says. It’s unsurprising that she would say something so insightful. I smile at her. Maya is beautiful. 

Smackle asks, “Would you rather be able to eat as much as you want with no weight gain, or require only 3 hours of sleep a day?” 

Zay throws his hand in the air as he cuts in. “You’re asking that question like I’m not already living off  _ 2 hours  _ of sleep at this  _ very moment _ .” We all laugh and agree that there is no question at all being asked. 

I ask Maya if she thinks crying is a sign of weakness or strength and she surprises me (as always) by saying, “Strength. Because it takes a lot of courage to show vulnerability.” She looks down at her bitten down fingernails, a habit that she has recently adapted, anxiously. “Not everybody is strong enough to admit when things aren’t perfect.” I’m wary of Maya’s distant expression, but I tuck this away for a more secluded space and time. 

It’s Zay’s turn and he asks people what they would name their kids if they had any. He grins at Farkle and Smackle. “And no weird shit either,” he adds. 

Missy locks eyes with me and tells the group, “I would name him Sir so that it would be Missy and Sir.” One of the college kids (Zachary, I believe) asks what exactly Missy would do if the kid was a girl and Missy replies immediately, “Ma’am.”  **_G-o-d I am glad I didn’t go out with her_ ** **.**

Zay laughs at that and looks back towards Farkle and Smackle. “And what about the androids over there? What will you be naming your little bots?” Farkle and Smackle begin to blush, both making direct eye contact. 

“I think the names Mary and John would suffice,” Smackle replies matter-of-factly. Everyone is silent. It’s an odd choice, certainly. Farkle grins at Smackle. “Can’t have them growing up with names as crazy as ours!” Everyone laughed again. Smackle points at me, wiggling her eyebrows. “What about you Freak-Face?”

I hadn’t really put a lot of thought into it. Maybe Lucas Jr. but that seemed a bit vain and I didn’t really like the idea. Didn’t really like the name Joe, (sorry Pap). But I do have an aunt, well, I did  _ have  _ an aunt named Sabrina who was the most lovely in the world. “If I had a daughter, I’d name her Sabrina after my favorite late aunt.” Zay pats me on the back. He never met her, but he has seen photos and he knows my hurt. 

“What would you do if you had a son?” Farkle inquires.

Well  _ shit _ . Now I know how Missy felt. “Well, I wouldn’t know. I dunno. Sabrin **o** ??” Everyone’s laughing at me and Maya is laughing so hard she’s leaning on my shoulder. 

“I guess I should Ranger Nico.” I can feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment. I should’ve known that they would ask a question like that. I turn to Maya to deflect my embarrassment. 

“Ha ha ha. Very funny,  _ Penelope _ . Since my name was so terrible, what would  _ you _ name your son?” I ask her. She shrugs, half smiling bashfully as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’d name him Peyton,” she says immediately. It’s not the most  _ popular  _ name and everyone glances amongst themselves. Zay asks her why. “That was the name my mom was planning to give me if I were a boy...But I think that whatever gender the kid is maybe I’d name them Peyton because it means royal. And by giving them that name...” She hesitated. “They’ll never feel worthless.”

Everyone smiled, even Missy. I was expecting  _ her  _ to throw up, but no. The game continues with a few risqué questions scattered here and there. It transforms into the monster that is  _ Never Have I Ever  _ and THEN into  _ Truth or Dare _ where I am dared to go into the closet with Maya for seven minutes. Yeah, I know what it sounds like, but it’s not 7 minutes in Heaven.

Missy’s basement doesn’t have a closet so, instead, we have to let her lock us in her wine cellar. It’s spacious and lit in a rather moody way. I am glad we were given this dare. I’ve been looking to get Maya alone for hours now. As soon as I hear the door lock behind us I lunge at her from across the room, my hands around her waist as she wraps her arms around my neck. She tips on her toes as high as she can and I crane my neck in ways that likely should be possible. Our lips meet and I can’t help but smile as I remember our first kiss and how passionate it had been. Passionate and perfect, that’s how I’d describe it. 

It should’ve been that night at the campfire. Oh god it should’ve been sooner. It should’ve been her on that Subway...but no, that wasn’t even a kiss and Maya deserves better. I should’ve taken her out to dinner or a movie and walked her home and kissed her at her doorstep. I would’ve, could’ve, should’ve…

I notice, past the taste of her strawberry chapstick, that there is not a trace of alcohol on her breath as she kisses me. I’d seen her accept many drinks from many people and drink them too, but yet, her breath was fresher than a mint. I grin against her lips.  _ Maybe she popped a few DUO mints in before our alone time _ ... I want to go too far with her. “We still have 3 minutes. If we make it fast…”

Maya pulls away slowly. “They’re going to come in. No one set a timer. Don’t be reckless.”

“I want to get my hands on you.” I pull at the strap of her dress. It slips off of her pale shoulders. The school’s weren’t lying when they said that they were distracting. I wanted to kiss her there. She blushes, catching my (no doubt, hungry) stare. “Please, Maya?”

“Not here,” she says obstinately. 

The door opens a few moments later. I suppose Maya was right. Still, I’d see no harm or foul in anyone walking in. They’d all be too drunk to remember anyway.

  
  
  
  


**POV: Maya**

**Song Suggestion:** _ A Bitter Song _ , Butterfly Boucher

Looking at all these college boys having a good time, living it up...I know that Lucas is meant to be one of them. There’s no debating it: guys wanna be him. Girls wanna date him. He’s the rom-com type. Tall, handsome, surprisingly intelligent, and so damn sweet. 

Do I deserve it?

Maybe I deserve this.

I must deserve this. This is what I’ve been dealt. 

Watching his smile light up from across the room, it’s almost hard to imagine him hating me, but I know it probably won’t be for long if I keep playing my cards this way. 

Chased away my dad, and Josh, and now...maybe this will be an exception. I can’t help but hope that it is. 

There goes that word again.  _ Hope _ . I used to say that hope was for suckers but now, I realize, I must have been one all along. 

  
  


Lucas is walking me home. It’s so late we’re probably considered early risers. I told him not to at first, but then I gave in. I knew he wouldn’t let me go alone anyway. Not for lack of trust but because he’s my sweet Moral Compass and he “wouldn’t be able to keep living if anything bad happened” to me. 

Once we reach my doorstep it’s hard to think that I’ll be saying goodbye to all of this in no time at all and soon enough I’m bawling my eyes out and Lucas is holding me in his arms. I look away, avoiding his stupid perfectly proportionate face. “What’s wrong,” he asks. 

I don’t know what to tell him. I know now is probably the best time, but I can’t bear to tell him all of the doubts in my mind. I know it would be worth letting go of constant torment that I’ve been putting myself through. But no. Instead, I tell him that I love him a lot. “It’s nothing. It’s just...I love you a lot and I am a selfish and terrible person for feeling this way because––I’m just...not good enough for you.” 

Lucas lifts my chin with his hand before he puts his hands on my shoulders. “That’s not true,” he tells me. “And if I ever gave you the impression that I thought so I’m an idiot and I’m sorry and I would never do it on purpose.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Hop-along,” I cut in, rubbing my temple and looking down at my shoes. It is very early in the morning. “I don’t want you walking alone at this time.” I whipped my phone out of my pocket and called him. “Don’t hang up until you are in your apartment.” Lucas asks what he’s supposed to do in the meantime and I tell him to tell me any story he can think of. As many as he wants until he gets home. He kisses me on my doorstep in these early morning hours and I wish he didn’t have to be on his way. 

I placed myself on mute, as I threw some essentials into my school backpack, and headed out of my window, back on the subway, and to New York Penn Station before waiting two hours to catch the 2:40 am train from Penn Station to Boston South Station (a three and a half-ish hour ride). 

“I’m home now, Maya,” Lucas says chipperly. I hear the door close behind him and the lock as he turns it. I smile as a tear rolls down my cheek before I throw my phone on the tracks. I watch the phone shatter irreparably and board the train. 


	12. Deep Sea, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas the Good is determined.  
> Super helpful friends and family.  
> Blonde Beauty returns to the story :)

##  **Chapter 12: Deep Sea, Baby**

**_POV: Lucas_ **

**_Song Suggestion:_ ** _ I Follow Rivers _ **,** Lykke Li

(June 9, 2017)

Riley told the police that it was like Maya to run away, but I told them about the Maya that  _ I  _ know. She’d been happy. She wouldn’t up and run unless something was wrong. Something had to have been wrong. 

Maya has been missing since June 7th, 2017 (the night of the graduation and Missy’s graduation party). It has been 3 years now, almost four. Nobody has been able to contact her. 

I knew something was wrong two days after Missy’s party when no one had heard from or seen her. Nobody could get in contact with her. Her number was suddenly not in service and all of her devices were missing. She’d taken nothing more than the clothes on her back that night and God knows where she was now, assuming she had gone willingly. It all seemed so sudden. 

Zay and I took to the streets as soon as we were all officially frightened, asking people in Maya’s neighbourhood if they saw her. A few people let us know that they saw her go into the subway. And sure, it was a long shot, but when we entered the subway we started to ask around and sure enough someone had seen a “pretty blonde girl with blue eyes in a white dress” two days earlier. A performer, a young man with a guitar and a dream, saw her head onto the subway to Penn Station. When we get there we ask anyone who looks like they go to the train station every day: business people, performers, workers. One tells us that a girl by that description boarded the “66 Northeast Regional.” Zay and I have no clue what the hell that means, so we ask someone who works in the station. They lead us down to a track and tell us that Maya’s train only goes to and from NY to Boston, Massachusetts. 

It’s a general location, but it’s a lead no doubt. I glanced down at the tracks, noting a few scattered shards of glass and squinted my eyes. There’s a black and white checkerboard phone case with red roses bent unforgivingly on the track and I feel the blood drain from my face as I jump down onto the tracks, scooping the busted phone case into my hand, a few stray pieces of glass cutting my hands as I clench it. Zay is hollering at me and there are people around him doing the same, likely thinking the worst. Zay pulls me back up onto the platform and I stare at the phone. It is destroyed. There is no screen. There is no storage disk. There is  _ nothing _ to give us a lead on Maya, but a part of me had to wonder. What if...I turn away from the track. 

Zay knows what I am thinking as I breathe unevenly. He turns to a member of the staff and asks them the dreaded question. “Has anyone jumped onto the tracks in the past two days?” I await their answer, fully knowing that the answer will soon be yes if I deem it unsatisfactory. 

“No, sir.”

A sigh of relief. A wave of admonishing voices. I pull out my phone and show them a picture of the girl I love. “Maya Hart. Her name is Maya and I love her and she is missing: This is her phone case, but she is not dead,” I tell them. I shake my head. “I need to find her. If you see her, you’ll feel like you know her: Maya Hart.”

* * *

**(June 10, 2017)**

“Help me find her, Farkle.”

“Look, Lucas. I already told you. She didn’t leave any tech devices. I don’t know how to find her without them. I’m a nerd, not a bloodhound.”

“Can’t you just hack something or trace her location by her shoes or something? I dunno, anything,” I retorted. 

“What am I supposed to hack?” Farkle rolls his eyes, before slowly glancing down at his own laptop. “Well, actually...I could log into her school account. It should still be up and running: mine is. I used to do all of her assignments in middle school. Hopefully she hasn’t changed the password since eighth grade.” He puts in her login details and successfully gets in. He pumps his fist. 

I think, leaning over Farkle’s chair. “Okay, maybe now we should check her search history?” He nods in agreement and looks up a few keywords.  _ Disappear, run away, find... _ nothing strange comes up until I suggest, “Try  _ Boston _ , _ Massachusetts _ , and  _ train _ .” Something comes up. “Trains from Penn Station to Massachusetts?” But it was nearly two months ago that she looked into that, so––

“She was planning to run away. She wanted to disappear,” Farkle finishes my thought as though he’d heard it aloud. I turn away from the screen, slamming my fist on the wall. “Which means she isn’t going to make it easy to find her. She could honestly be anywhere.”

“Damnit!” I cursed. Farkle glanced back at me, seeming a bit frightened. He turned back to his screen and attempted to login to Maya’s personal email to no avail. “So it’s a dead end. You’re right. She could be anywhere and we can’t track her.”

“I’m sorry, dude,” Farkle says. I know he is. I feel bad for barging in uninvited and demanding things from him. I never usually would, but desperate times, as they say. I shake my head and head to the door, taking my coat off of his rack. 

“Don’t be. Thanks for trying, man.”

* * *

**June 11th, 2017**

**POV:** _ Lucas _

Everyone is gathered in Matthews's living room: Farkle, Smackle, Zay, Riley, Shawn, Katy, Topanga, Cory, Auggie, Ava, and even Josh. Though I feel sick admitting it, I’m glad Josh is as worried as anyone. The thought of him knowing where Maya is...well, it makes me want to walk right over to him and beat it out of him.

It seems odd gathering in Riley’s house given the purpose of our meeting, but Katy’s home is significantly smaller and wouldn’t be large enough to accommodate so many people, I imagine. She is fretful, that much is obvious. Clearly she hasn’t heard from Maya in days. Hell, she tells us she hasn’t seen Maya since graduation. She didn’t even know Maya came home that night. Everyone is sharing anecdotal information, things that seemed irrelevant or meaningless at the time that may hold more weight now, when suddenly Shawn’s phone rings. He steps into the hallway to answer and I inch my way back against the wall to take a listen. 

“Hello?” Shawn says. “Maya?!” Shawn barrels back into the room, placing his phone down on the coffee table and turning on the speaker. “Thank God! Maya, your mother is worried and no one has seen or heard from you in days!”

I hear her laugh faintly, but it’s a bittersweet one. It’s the type she used to make when she saw Riley and I together. It’s the same laugh she gave when Riley shoved ice cream in her face. I can see it in my mind and as I visualise it I wish I could wrap my arms around her again and again forever so that I would never have to hear that wretched sound again. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to call more often.” It’s an odd response, but it helps to calm the room down a bit. 

“Why did your number come up without a name?” Shawn asks. He locks eyes with me. I’d shown everyone Maya’s phone at the beginning of the meeting. I’d placed it in a plastic bag not wanting to disturb it any further. “And why is it coming up as a Chicago number?”

“My phone broke,” Maya replies bluntly. That, we know, is true at least. 

I step over to Farkle and whisper in his ear. “Get your laptop out. Can’t you trace the phone call or something? Maybe do a Find My Friends type thing?” Farkle shook his head. 

“For me to trace her call, Shawn would’ve needed to already have an app for that purpose on his phone. I’d need more time. We need to wait until the next time she calls.”

Katy changes her seat and sits down on the couch leaning forward over the table to be heard clearly. “Maya Hart, where are you? Where have you been?” she asks. She tries her best to sound stern, but that has never been her method of parenting. 

There’s silence for a moment. “I’m out of state. I couldn’t decide which college I wanted to go to, so I just decided to revisit them.” Maya pauses again. “How many people are on the receiving end of this call?” Everyone speaks all at once, yelling and hollering over one another. Maya knows that no one believes her. Riley is evidently upset, but Cory and Topanga are crying, Katy is trying to hush them all, Josh is trying to draw Maya’s attention and Ava is covering Auggie’s ears. 

Josh stands up and snatches the phone up from the table. “Maya, what are you doing?” he inquires, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “You can’t just pick up and leave whenever you want without telling the people who love you!”

“Josh?”

I stand up at that, crossing the room and standing in front of Josh as he holds the phone. “Maya, whatever is going on, we love you and we just want you to be safe. But we can’t know that you’re safe if you push us away like this!”

“Lucas,” she sighs. I’m trembling now, I feel it. I clench my fist. The way she says my name knowing full and well what she’s doing. After all this time, and this fear of abandonment, she’s leaving  _ us _ . “I’m not pushing you guys away. I’m just not close.” The voices grow again and Cory walks out of the room. I wonder now if he’s the only father she ever really had before Shawn.Topanga and Katy are holding one another on the couch through tears as Shawn rubs Katy’s back. Farkle motions for Josh to hand him the phone before he navigates his way to an app I’ve never seen before. 

“I have to go,” Maya says. Everyone protests and we’re all begging her not to hang up but she tells us that she loves us almost as if there is something stuck in her throat that she couldn’t manage to stomach but at the same time couldn’t manage to blurt out. “I love you...everyone.”

The call ends. 

“I installed the app. I’m gonna call her back!” Farkle exclaims. He calls and, just when I think someone is about to answer…

  
  


**“The number you have dialed is not in service. Please check the number and try again.”**

  
  
  


* * *

**(September 08, 2017)**

**Everyone looked for Maya that summer** for as long as they could before they had to head off to their college campuses. Farkle and Smackle tried to trace her calls to Shawn and Katy, but her number was different every time and she seemed to be using a VPN. 

It’s September now and I’m moved into my dorm. I decided to go to Harvard. UCLA was actually my first, but it was no longer in contention: I’m only here because the last place we could officially place Maya was Boston. If there is any chance of her coming back to Massachusetts I will find her and I will never let her run away from us again. Or at least, not without me. 

* * *

**POV:** **_Riley_ **

**(October 31, 2019)**

I came home for Halloween, believe it or not. Yeah, I know it’s dorky, but I can’t help but miss my bay window at the end of October. I need to decorate if not simply for traditions sake than for the sake of my own sanity. As I’m sitting here, I remember all of the Halloween’s with Maya. I wish the spirit were here right now. Maybe she could tell me how to feel. 

I miss Maya, I know that...but part of me is glad she is missing or decidedly gone. At this point, in my sophomore year of college, I am far too preoccupied with my sorority and keeping my grades up to worry about someone who doesn’t want to be found. After all, why worry when she always comes back. I do worry that this time may be an exception. Maya is a diamond in the rough (and when I say  _ rough _ I mean  **_rough_ ** ). She’s a bad girl and she tends to attract problems, most of which are unnecessary. My life has been running smoothly enough since she has been gone and I can’t help but think that it would be going turbulently if she continued on in it. 

After a while, Maya became smarter about her hiding. She knew we were tracing her calls and trying to find her. She would always be in a different or a different state when she called before for birthdays and holidays and what-not, but I guess she realized that Smackle and Farkle were onto her: Now she only sends postcards (with no location, no design, date, or even a smell to go off of). 

* * *

**POV:** **_Lucas_ **

**(July 2, 2020)**

I’m still looking and following the only leads I have. All of the time I spent with Farkle and Smackle has taught me a few things. I’ve spent more time figuring things out for myself. Shawn got his one call of the year from Maya for his birthday today. It’s hard for him seeing his wife be so torn up, but he seems to have accepted that Maya isn’t coming back. I can track down her call from my own living room now. Shawn doesn’t know it, but I’m listening. That sounded creepy. Let me clarify: I am listening to their conversation as tracking Maya down as they speak. I’m recording their conversation just in case I miss something, a hint.

“Hello?” Shawn says. 

“Happy Birthday, dad!” I can hear the broad smile on her face. She sounds happy. 

“Maya, where are you?”

“I’m safe. I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

Shawn scoffs and mutters something beneath his breath. “Cut the crap Maya. This isn’t cute. We miss you. Everyone does: Your mother is stressed out of her mind. Your friends call  _ every day  _ to ask about you––and Lucas. Maya…” My cheeks grow hot. I wonder if she has thought of me once while she has been gone. There is a moment of silence as if it has taken her a moment to recognize the name. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t come back home. I can’t,” Maya replies finally. 

“Okay. So, you don’t want to come home? Well, that’s fine kiddo: but we would’ve gone with you, Maya!

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I made a mistake, dad.” I can hear the frustration in her voice. Maybe she fully believes that she has done something unforgivable. 

“If you made a mistake, we’ll forgive you. I already do. No mistake could make us want you to stay away,” Shawn replies. It’s the perfect response. It’s a response so perfect I almost have full hope that Maya will come back of her own accord. He’s a good father. 

Maya chuckles in the same heartbreakingly sad way as always these days. You say that now… Anyway, I just called to say Happy Birthday, so. Happy Birthday Shawn. I love you. I love you all.”

_ Shit!  _ I realize that I’ve been getting too caught up in their conversation. The furthest I’ve gotten in narrowing down her location is… "Massachusetts,” I mutter. It’s not an exact location, but she’s in the state. I know that much. There’s a circle––somewhere around Newtown, Boston, Chestnut Hill, Cambridge or Arlington…

She’s so close I can feel her now. I can feel her in my arms. I can see her face in my mind. It has grown fainter with every year. I open a picture of us on my phone and look at her face and it all comes rushing back. Those nights of passion, those years of longing... 

All the while when she has been gone, she has reached out to me only once. Everyone used to receive a call for Christmases and birthdays, but she has now switched to untraceable postcards as her main form of communication. She contacted me out of the blue one day. It was not on any particularly important day but I heard from Maya out of the blue the 21st of June this year. I opened my mail that Sunday and saw an unmarked envelope. When I opened it there was a picture of her taped to a white postcard. I turned it over. There was no address or sender but I knew who it was from. She wrote a poem on this postcard. 

* * *

_**“Once, I had a dream.** _

_**That dream had just begun.** _

_**It comes to me at midnight** _

_**and warms me like the sun.** _

_**And some may take issue** _

_**with leaving dreams unfulfilled,** _

_**but dreams often come to you** _

_**when we allow ourselves to be stilled”** _

* * *

But, since then, radio silence. I wonder if this postcard was just a blip. Did her determination falter just once? Had she decided that she could live without me?

  
  


I need a breath of fresh air. I can’t take being in this room any longer. It’s too small and it’s too lonely. I decide to go on a run and change into basketball shorts and a muscle shirt with running shoes. I pop in my airpods and head out. 

She’s in my mind, her beautiful voice wreaking havoc on my mind over the sound of my music. I’ve turned over almost every inch of Massachusetts looking for her. Every street and every city and every town is just another place that I’ve jogged.

Before I know it I’ve already passed Green Rose Heritage Park and I realize I’m short of breath and lacking a bottle of water, so I head over to a coffee shop I discovered when I first arrived in Boston. I buy a bottle of water and head back outside, taking a long sip. 

Suddenly I see a trail of blonde hair. It seems familiar and I get the impression that I might know the smell of it. I follow this woman. She’s about the right height from where I’m standing. I decide to follow her, focusing on the bouncing waves of her blonde hair. She goes into Green Rose Park and I’m just within three meters of her when a group of cyclists whiz by. By the time they pass by, the blonde woman seems to have disappeared. This has happened before. Every streak of blonde that I see I follow like a bloodhound on a scent. Every time thus far, I have been disappointed. I backpedal, towards the nearest bench. It’s hard to stand living so long without Maya. 

I’m tired now. Not of looking for her, but of running. I backpedal to the nearest bench, still looking out to see if I might catch a glimpse of that blonde hair again, before knocking into someone “Sorry,” I say, turning around to see blue eyes. Waves of blonde hair. Pink lips and frightened eyebrows. 

It’s Maya.

She takes a few steps back, surprised, but I wrap my arms around her and I pull her against me the way I used to in high school. Before I know it I’ve begun to sob inconsolably. My shoulders are quaking and my knees are struggling to hold me up. “Where have you been this entire time?” I ask her. “Why didn’t you come home?” 

I feel a sharp pain on the side of my lower leg. I glance down, hissing and grabbing it. I think for a moment that maybe it was Maya attempting to make a break for it, but I know I am wrong when she is standing in front of me still looking as shocked as me. I glance down to see a young boy with blonde hair and green eyes staring up at me dauntlessly. He’s about 3 or 4 and he’s about ready to kick me again judging by the looks of the (I imagine was meant to seem) intimidating look on his face.

“Leave my mommy alone!”

I’m taken aback for a moment before glancing over my shoulder at Maya (who says nothing). I lift the boy, one hand under each of his arms.  _ Leave my  _ **_mommy_ ** _ alone _ , the boy had said… I study his face. This boy does look a lot like Maya. I turn to her and ask flat out. “Is he your son?” She opens her mouth to respond but then I feel a light weight burdening my back as two small but determined arms wrap around my neck. 

**“STRANGER DANGER!”** Though I cannot see her, I know that there is a little girl on my back. I hand the young boy to Maya before reaching back and seizing the young girl and holding her up just the way I’d done the boy. Her hair is the sun bleached blonde type but I can tell that her hair is usually a light brown color. She pouts her lip and flashes two green puppy dog eyes. I smile. She can’t be more than three or four herself. My smile drops just as quickly as I glance over at Maya. “Is she your daughter?”

Maya sighs, holding the boy to her hip with a convincing amount of familiarity. She points over at the café across from the park. “We need to talk.”

* * *

**(Song Suggestion:** _ Work It Out _ , Knox Hamilton **)**

**POV:** _ Lucas _

  
  


“Where have you been all this time?”

“I’ve been at B.C. Boston College,” Maya admitted. 

“...only 10 minutes away from Harvard.” I glance over at the two children in front of me. Maya told them to watch their favorite show on their ipad and they do so, reluctantly with earbuds. They’re well behaved kids don’t make much noise other than an occasional exclamation of awe or disgust. Maya raised them well. I can’t help but want to ask…

“How old are they?” I ask, my eyes glued on them. She says they’re almost four.  _ They’ve been alive for as long as we’ve both been in college _ , she tells me. Despite my church upbringing I know that these things do not happen spontaneously and I am set to get to the bottom of it. “So, were you pregnant...at the graduation?”

Maya nods. and admits that she was  _ four months  _ pregnant at the graduation. It feels strange knowing that no one picked up on it. Sure, Maya was smart, but  _ hiding a pregnancy _ ? From all of the people who love and care about her? That’d be hard to pull off.

“And we were together in February, right?” I clarify. Maya says no, shaking her head rapidly. I roll my eyes.  _ Right _ . That wasn’t supposed to happen. “The technical terms...whatever––we  **_hooked up_ ** in February, I mean.”

“Yes.”

“I’m their dad.”

“No,” she replies matter-of-factly. I’m taken aback and I lean back in my chair. I glance over at the two children. The boy looks just like I did at his age, but with blonde hair. I turn back to Maya. 

“They are definitely **_our_ **kids.”

“That may not be true. I used a condom with you  _ and  _ Josh and still wound up pregnant, so there’s no telling which of you is their father unless I do a DNA test,” Maya explains. 

“Why do you need one when I know that I am their father?” She is quiet for a while before reaching over and smoothing our daughter’s hair. “Hell, Maya. You haven’t even told me their names yet,” I realized. 

Maya turns back to me, her cheeks growing red. She avoids my eyes. “Peyton and Sabrina,” she mutters. 

I throw my hands in the air exasperatedly. “So, you say the kids  _ might not be  _ mine but you give them the names we discussed?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case they were...well,  _ are  _ Josh’s! And Josh and I didn’t go over names and Josh wouldn’t know about your aunt Sabrina so I figured that naming her Sabrina would make sense,” Maya rambled. 

I take it in. It’s a lot to make sense of. “Why did you run?”

“I didn’t want to ruin your life,” she tells me. I sigh and cup her cheek in my hand, tracing circles with my thumb. I feel four eyes watching us and Maya seems to as well as she motions for me to pull my hand back. The kids turn back to their iPad as if they’d always been watching it. 

Now that I’ve found Maya and I’ve seen these beautiful children I know that I can’t live without them again. I take Maya’s hands under the table. “I will be their father no matter what a DNA test says, so if you really want to do one, go ahead: I’m never going to leave you all by my own will.”

Maya nods slowly. I can tell that she’s uneasy, probably calculating the odds of her successfully disappearing again. She couldn’t, and I think she knows that, so she says, “Fine.” 

“So then introduce me to them!  _ Actually _ introduce me,” I say. Maya scoffs. 

“And how exactly should I introduce you? This is  _ Lucas _ . He is a friend––well, friend with  _ benefits _ –– and he may or may  _ not  _ be your  _ father _ ,” she says, smirking scathingly. 

“We were never just friends,” I corrected, winking. “But fine. To keep things simple, introduce me as your friend Lucas. 

She nods and pats the two children on their shoulders before turning off the iPad. They take out their earplugs and turn to us expectantly. I feel my heart skip a beat as they’re little faces look at me curiously. 

“They’re so cute,” I mutter. I can feel my eyes begin to water at the thought of all of the moments and memories I missed of them. I missed the first steps and first words. Maybe I should be mad at Maya, but I can’t help but be grateful to have found them. All of them. 

“Whatever, Sundance,” Maya replies. 

“ **Sundance** ,” Peyton repeats. He points at me, his eyes wide. “Is he Mr. **_Huckleberry_**?! He is _**Ranger Rick**?!”_ Maya smiles and nods. I guess she has told them about me in  _ some  _ capacity or another. 

“But his real name is Lucas,” Maya admits. Sabrina pulls at the bottom of Maya’s shirt and Maya leans down as she whispers something in her ear. Maya grins. She turns back to me. “Sabrina thinks that Mr. Lucas is  _ pretty _ .” I blush as Sabrina and eye lock eyes. She’s shy and I can tell that she hadn’t been expecting Maya to tell me. 

“Thank you, little miss,” I say, tipping an imaginary hat. 

Sabrina laughs and tips one of her own. Then she says in a quiet voice, “Peyton and Mr. Lucas looks the same.” She’s observant. Peyton looks surprised but intrigued by her observation. It’s not hard to see a resemblance between the two of us. The only real difference between him and I is his blonde hair and his skin tone being a mix of mine and Maya’s. My mom would have a heart attack if she saw him. 

“What sports do you like, Mr. Lucas?” Peyton asks. I can see the gears turning in his head as he works something out in there. I’m sure he’s onto something, but I’m not sure what. 

“Baseball and football, you?”

“I play baseball!” Peyton exclaims smiling broadly. He’s missing his two front teeth at the moment, but he doesn’t seem to be very conscious of it. He slides off of his chair and stands next to mine. “Can I play baseball with Mr. Lucas mommy?  _ Pleaseeeeee? _ ” 

Maya shakes her head. “Lucas has to go.”

I shrug. “I have nowhere to be,” I interject. I still haven’t gotten Maya’s number yet and there’s no way I’m letting her out of my sight until I know how to reach her. Sabrina takes my hand, sliding off of her chair and swinging our arms. 

“Mr. Lucas should eat dinner with us!” Sabrina suggests. Peyton seconds this and soon enough they’re singing it as they spin around me. Maya sighs and sends a playful scowl in my direction. 

“Fine. Follow me,  _ Mr. Lucas, _ ” she says. 

  
  



	13. It Doesn't Matter "When"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of ✨ bonding ✨ and some much needed Lucaya interaction.

##  **Chapter 13: It Doesn’t Matter “When”**

**[Song Suggestion:** _Are You Bored Yet_ , Wallows, Clairo **]**

**(POV:** _ Maya _ **)**

Hell, I wasn’t expecting this day to come. Not so soon, anyway. Now he’s next to me on the bench of the breakfast nook. Peyton and Sabrina both wanted to sit next to him, so I decided that, to avoid a brawl, he would sit next to me. He’s so close now I can smell his addictive Lavender Chamomile smell flooding my nostrils. 

As soon as we step into my apartment, Lucas is showing himself to the kitchen and tying on my “Mom of The Year” apron to help with dinner. His tan skin is beautiful beneath the recess lights as he reaches up to retrieve glasses from the cabinet I show him. He laughs at the step ladder tucked just behind the refrigerator. “Oh, Pen,” he teases.

We made pasta, perhaps not the healthiest thing but certainly the fastest. The kitchen isn’t the largest in the world and he’s even more muscular than he was three and a half years ago. I can see the muscles in his arm stretch as he does the smallest action. 

“Mommy! Hurry up so we can play with Mr. Lucas!” I snap out of my haze as Peyton chides me. His plate is clean for once and so is Sabrina’s. They don’t eat much regularly. I smile. They’ll be as small as me if they don’t eat more. 

“You guys finished everything,” I cheer. Peyton nods rapidly. 

“Mr. Lucas told us that it’ll make us grow big and strong!” Peyton enthused. I can see the admiration in his eyes as he looks at Lucas. He’s a sweet kid and I know that there’s no way we can run again without him being hurt. “I wanna be big and strong like Mr. Lucas!”

I smile. “And you will be.” I finish my food quickly and put the dishes in the sink, running hot water over them so that they’ll be easier to wash later in the night. We head back to the park with a toy bat and ball and four catching gloves. 

  
  


I was never the best at baseball  _ or  _ softball, but when I did manage to hit the ball and run no one could catch me. Except for Lucas on a good day. And sure, maybe I would let him. Today would be no different. I didn’t go easy on my kids. They wouldn’t always win so I figured there was no point in babying them. For the most part, this worked out. Sabrina was a fast learner and emotionally mature. She took more after me in terms of determination and emotional security. 

Peyton on the other hand, despite his tough guy front, was the more emotional of the two of them. Today, he was brought to tears when he struck out two times in a row in front of his dear “Mr. Lucas.” I was just about to run over to him when Lucas stood from his position as catcher and wrapped him in a hug. 

“It’s okay, Peyton. Cry if you need to,” Lucas tells him. He smiles sweetly as Peyton rubs vigorously at his eyes crying harder from the embarrassment of crying in front of Lucas. Lucas rubs his back. “I strike out all of the time. Everyone does. The best of the best do! I can show you how to make your swing better if you want? Would that make you feel better?”

Peyton sniffles and nods. And as Lucas is showing him how to swing the bat, I can’t help but watch with a smile. Once Lucas managed to console Peyton completely, we continued on with Peyton’s third shot. I pitched the ball and watched in awe as Peyton swung through, whacking the ball further than ever before. He cheered as Sabrina ran after it to throw it back to me. Lucas grabs Peyton’s hand and runs the imaginary bases with him. 

“Home run!” The two of them cried, both sliding on the ground as they laughed. Sabrina ran over to join them, sprawling out over the two of them gleefully. “Come on Mommy!” I shake my head. I would rather watch them. Lucas gets up swiftly and rushes me, sweeping me off of my feet and throwing me over his shoulder as he runs around. The kids chase us, laughing all the while. “Give our mommy back!”

Eventually we all grow tired and head back to the apartment. Lucas carries Sabrina on his back and I carry Peyton on my hip on the way there. Lucas offers to wash up while I get the kids ready for bed and, after they shower and brush their teeth, I take them to their bedroom. They share a room with a trundle bed. The room is painted sky blue with fluffy white clouds on the wall. 

Sabrina has outgrown their nightlight, but Peyton can’t sleep without a light on so I lined the ceiling with our christmas lights. It looked like they were sleeping beneath golden stars. The kids say that they want Lucas to tell them a story before they go to sleep. I hesitate. I’ve always been the one to read to them every single day since I found that I was pregnant with them. I give in and Lucas if, of course, thrilled to have been requested. He kneels in front of their bed. 

“Mr. Lucas! We want you to tell us a story please! An  _ adventure  _ story!” Peyton demands. Lucas chuckles as Sabrina seconds Peyton’s request. 

Lucas thinks for a moment before beginning. “Once, very long ago, there was a cowboy named Huckleberry Bond. Huckleberry Bond had never been to New York before, but he moved there from Texas. He used to be a very  _ bad boy _ ,” he explained. “But then he met the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen: she was blonde and short and she could sing like nobody’s business...and she didn’t pay Huckleberry Bond any mind.”

Peyton sighed sadly despite himself. He’s a sucker for love stories. I can see tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. 

“Huckleberry met the blonde beauty on the subway one morning when she walked up to him and invited him on a secret mission: She said her name was “The Bomb” and that the mission was to destroy the Purple Cat.”

“I like purple,” Sabrina admits. “And cats!”

Lucas musses her hair. “The Purple Cat is a girl planning to end the world somehow, but The Bomb and Huckleberry are on a mission to stop her,” he explains.The kids nod and he continues. “One day, The Bomb and Huckleberry Bond find the Purple Cat’s location and go undercover as part of the game club. Huckleberry says the secret code.  _ The cool cat howls at the moon _ . The man on the other side of the door responds–– _ Purple is the color of midnight _ ––and opens the door.”

Peyton’s eyelids are growing heavy and Sabrina’s eyes already seem to be closed. Whether she’s awake or not is hard to say. Lucas continues his story. “Everything is going well for The Bomb and Huckleberry until The Bomb discovers an  _ actual bomb  _ behind a purple curtain! The Purple Cat herself comes out from the kitchen of the establishment and tells them that the world is going to end if they cannot stop the bomb. The Blonde Beauty works to stop the bomb while Huckleberry Bond fights off all of the other people in the room–––WHAM! KAPOW! and WHACK! And with only two seconds to spare, The Blonde Beauty snips the red wire and dismantles the bomb, saving the world. The Purple Cat and her henchmen have been defeated and are taken to jail!”

“What happens to The Blond Beauty and Huckleberry Bond after they stop the Purple Cat?” Sabrina asks, yawning inadvertently. Lucas grins. I myself am curious. The way  _ Riley  _ had finished the story, it seemed like Huckleberry Bond and The Bomb could only end the world. 

“They walk away from the burning building and start a beautiful family and live happily ever after,” Lucas explains. He stands up again, dusting off his knees. We exchanged movies on the walk back home. “I guess I should get going now.”

“No! Can Mr. Lucas stay?” Peyton begs, suddenly fully awake and alert. I glance over at him. Both him and Sabrina are wide awake now. I look over to Lucas and read his expression. He shrugs and nods slowly.

“Only until tomorrow. Now go to bed!”

* * *

**_POV: Narrator_ **

**[Song Suggestion:** _ High Enough,  _ K. Flay **]**

Maya closes the door behind her and Lucas carefully. His eyes are on her: they’re always on her. She glances away. 

“You don’t want me to stay, do you?” he asks her. She looks back at him. 

“No, of course I do. You can’t go yet,” Maya responds quickly. She takes a deep breath, recollecting herself. “It’s too late and I’d feel bad letting you go alone. You can stay here tonight and sleep in my room.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“Maybe with the kids. Maybe on the futon: I don’t know. But you should get a good night’s sleep, so…let me just show you to the bathroom so you can get cleaned up,” Maya suggests. Lucas nods and followers her to the bathroom she digs through the linen closet to find two towels and a new toothbrush for him. 

Lucas took a hot shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. It was relatively cool in the apartment. He shivered as streams of water still trailed down his tan skin. As he emerged from the bathroom, still steaming, Maya averted her eyes. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, Pen,” Lucas muttered. 

Maya rolled her eyes and turned, a neat stack of clothing in hand. “These might fit you. I didn’t want to just leave them here for you to assume.” Lucas took them from her and gave her a quick  _ thanks _ before she scurried for the door. He crossed the floor, in two steps, blocking the handle. 

“Sleep here, in your bed.”

“I already told you, it’s all you,” Maya replied uneasily. She glanced over his body, her cheeks becoming red. “I’m gonna sleep in the kids’ room.”

Lucas shook his head. “Just sleep next to me,” he suggested. He watched as Maya’s face went through a series of different emotions and expressions all in one instant. It rested on a more somber countenance. 

“You don’t have to be nice to me. I understand if you hate me and you’re just... _ too good  _ to tell me. I understand,” she admitted. 

Lucas leaned over her, still dripping wet with water. Their eyes locked. He was close now, and though she couldn’t smell his usual signature sent, there was something all the more attractive to Maya about him smelling like her. Lucas scoffed, seemingly offended. “Maya, I love you and I am thankful for you. And I always will. You are the mother of our children and you’ve given me the greatest gift I could ever dream of: a family of my own.”

  
  


“I almost didn’t. I was so close to just...staying and never having to tell anyone about them.”

The two of them fell silent as Lucas registered what Maya was trying to say. He sighed and nodded, his eyes nearly welling with tears at the thought of not having the twins now that he’d met them. “You were considering an abortion?”

“Yes. I went to the clinic and everything, but...in the end I couldn’t do it. I already loved them. And they’re what has motivated me to wake up every morning,” she confessed. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you and to them…”

“Don’t think twice about it.”

“You’re not upset?”

“No, Maya: I  _ am  _ upset. I’m upset that you made me miss out on almost four years of our children’s lives. I’m upset that you left me with nothing to remember you by when you had  _ them.  _ I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way I feel right now,” Lucas replied, stepping forward. His damp chest pressed against her band t-shirt. Her sweet scent, like Earl Grey on a cloudy day, filled his lungs. “But I’m here with you right now and more than anything else right now I feel like I need you.”

“Then show me how much you need me,” Maya purred, tipping up onto her toes, her minty breath tickling the sensitive skin of Lucas’s neck. He reached back and locked the door as Maya wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. They kissed each other sloppily, impassioned as they blindly made their way to the bed. Maya gasped and covered her mouth as her back hit the mattress and Lucas planked above her, kissing her neck harshly. She reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it off entirely and meeting Lucas’s lips. 

They were careful not to wake the kids, but it was a night with more passion and love and lust than either of them had ever felt, especially in the past 3 and a half years. By the time the two of them fell asleep it was well past 12 a.m. and they were both tangled in cool sheets chest to chest. 

Lucas didn’t want to leave unannounced, after getting dressed in the same clothes he had the day before, placed a chaste kiss on Maya’s cheek and whispered, “I’m back to school. I’ll call you at lunch.” She grumbled something, still half asleep, and Lucas left the apartment, locking the door behind him. 

There was no point in hailing a cab, so he ran just as he had the day before. He walked into his dorm, cleaned up, and headed off to class, grinning from ear to ear. Now  _ this  _ was something to tell the boys!

* * *

**(POV:** Lucas **)**

“Wait,  _ what?!” _

“I found Maya and our two kids. I have kids, Zay!” I watched as Zay’s face transformed from utter shock to a mix of surprise and joy. “They’re twins and they’re three, almost four. And she was pregnant at graduation and there’s one boy and one girl and their names are Peyton and Sabrina and Peyton likes baseball and Sabrina is shy and they don’t know I’m their dad,” I rambled. 

Zay nodded along, following completely. 

“Holy shit, dude: I’m a dad…” I smacked my forehead, still awe struck. “God, I love them so much! They’re such amazing kids!”

“Well, of course they are. They’ve had Maya,” Zay said. He smirked mischievously. “And now they have you...but  _ more importantly, _ now they have Uncle Zay!”

“They sure do.” I smiled to myself. “I have to call Pappy Joe and my Mama and Papa! I’ll call you later?”

“Of course man! See ya later!”

“See ya!” I hung up quickly and dialed Pappy Joe. The call was answered rather quickly considering it was about time for Pap to move the cows across the field for grazing. I needed to see his face as I broke the news. “Hello? Pap?”

“Well if it isn’t Lucas Friar!” a great big booming voice said from the other end. I turned my volume down slightly. There was Pap, holding his phone from the most unflattering of angles. I could see that he was wearing his hat, even while inside, and smiled. “Must be something important for you to have remembered to call me. Ooh! I may even see a smile on your face! I don’t suppose I’ve seen one of those in something like four years…”

I rolled my eyes. He was right. I hadn’t been very happy at all in the past few years. “Yeah, you’re right. But all of that has changed now, Pappy Joe.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” I said, barely able to contain my excitement. “I found Maya. I bumped into her in the park. Her  _ AND  _ our two children…” I bit my lip, watching as Pappy Joe’s face went from one of confusion to absolute shock. 

“ _ TWO CHILDREN??” Pappy Joe hollered. “What in the FOOEY GARduCKY do you mean, boy?!” _

I grinned. He was smiling now. “You’re a great grandpa now, Pappy Joe! She ran away because she was pregnant and she decided to keep them. She thought she would be ruining my life if she stayed and...she wasn’t sure if the kids were ours,” I explained. His lips pulled into a straight line as one eyebrow perked up. 

“And now, what does that mean?”

“Maya was dating another boy: Riley’s older cousin Josh. And they were...intimate. But one thing led to another one day and I got her pregnant even with her being on birth control  _ and  _ me using a condom…”

Pappy Joe gasped. “Why, I’ve got to tell the town!”

I laughed. “Go ahead, Paps. I guess I’ve got to tell Mama and Papa, now don’t I?” We ended the call and I dialed the number for my mother. My best guess was that she was out on a shopping spree right about now and had no time to answer my call, but, for  _ once _ , she did answer. “Mama? It’s me, Luke.”

“Well, I don’t suppose I’d forget the voice of my son, even after such a long time as you put me through all the while!” she complained. “Really, Luke. You ought to call more. You know it breaks your father and I’s hearts!”

“Yeah I will mom, don’t worry about it,” I cut her off. I grinned. “I have some big news, Mama.”

“Well, go on. No need to kill me with suspense.”

I nodded. I always thought I’d be telling her this a few years down the road. At least after I graduated. But now was better than ever. As long as I had them, the when didn’t matter. “Mama, I found Maya. I bumped into her in the park: her and our twins Peyton and Sabrina!”

“...your  _ twins _ ?”

“Our son Peyton and our daughter Sabrina,” I elaborated. My mother gasped from the other end of the line, whipping off her large black sunglasses and staring at the camera, eyes wide with excitement and curiosity. 

“EXPLAIN!” she demands. I do and she thinks for a moment. “How do you know the children are yours? She has told you herself that she does not know they are, so what makes you certain?”

“I love them, Mama. I love them...and when you see Peyton for the first time... _ Mama _ ...He’s  _ me  _ with Maya’s eyes!”

“Oh, Lucas! This is wonderful! Truly! I can’t imagine her position and the time but I knew the moment the two of you paired up to sell muffins that I liked her for you. Oh, Luke! My little Lukey poo is a father!” My mother was enthused. “And what did your father have to say about this?” 

“Nothing yet. I haven’t told him yet. He’s next.”

“Well then I better let you off! When he gets a goin’...ha  _ hurrrr! _ ” I laugh, recalling when Maya came to visit Texas. Even before then, she’d had me figured out: Rodeos and cattle pageants and Pappy Joe’s “ha hurr” and that little sheep that Mary had...she was special and she always would be. 

It was my Papa next. Then it would be my friends from New York and that would be an entirely different ballpark. But it was my father that I was worried about. What he would think and say...I already knew that regardless of what he thought I would be with Maya and the twins for the rest of my life so help me God. But it would be nice if they could meet their grandpa. 

I called him a little before lunch. A few hours after I’d called Zay and Mama and Pappy Joe but they wouldn’t call him and I knew that. This was all me. He answered after letting the phone ring for a while. “Hello?” He says. I doubt my name is even saved in his phone at this point. 

“Papa? It’s me, Lucas.”

“I know, boy. Why are you calling me? It wasn’t just to say hi, was it?”

I can feel my cheeks growing hot. My father wanted me to go to a division 1 school for baseball. It was his dream to go big leagues. In a way, it was mine too until I met Maya. He’s clean shaven and dapper in his business attire and I can tell he has only just left a meeting as he raises his thumb in the air to wave down a taxi before stepping in and muttering our address to the driver. 

“No,” I admit. I gulp. I have to be direct or he won’t listen. “I found Maya and the reason she ran away is because she was pregnant with twins. They’re my kids, Papa. I am their father and you are their grandpa.”

His face changes from the expressionless look of disappointment to utter confusion and then simply shock. “Twins? Since when?”

“Since graduation almost four years ago. She wasn’t sure if they were mine because she was seeing Riley’s uncle on and off.”

My Papa laughs and it’s a real big laugh that I haven’t heard in a long time. He grins. “You little bastard! Lucas the  _ Lady-Killer!  _ You truly are my son, bless your heart!” He shakes his head slowly, a sad look coming across his face. “I’m sorry, Lucas. That must be really hard to find out after three and a half years.”

I shrug. “Yeah, Papa, it was. But, the when doesn’t matter. Because I love Maya and as soon as I saw their little faces, I knew I would love the twins for the rest of my life.”

“Well, now. You know the family has to meet them, now don’t you?” Papa says, exiting the taxi. He chuckles. “I’ve got to meet my grand babies while I’m still on this earth, you hear? Oh! I’ve got it. Y'all have to come up for the fourth of Ju-ly!”

I scoffed. “Funny Papa! That’s  _ tomorrow _ ...it’s too last minute!”

“More last minute than finding out you have twins three years late? The  _ when  _ doesn’t matter, Lukey.” He winks and I groan.  _ Of course he would quote me _ . “Y'all are catching a flight to Austin  _ tonight!  _ Ya hear?”

I sigh, knowing full and well that this would be hard to explain to Maya. Hell. 

This would be hard to explain to our kids. 

**_Shit!_ **

They don’t even  _ know  _ that I’m their _ father _ !”


	14. Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids go on a little field trip and spend some time with their family!

#  **Chapter 14:** ** _Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch_**

**(POV:** Maya **)**

**July 3, 2020**

* * *

Packing up for the kids and myself was not as hard as someone might imagine. For starters, we don’t own many things. Secondly, the kids are pretty efficient already and are more than capable of packing a bag. The main thing I focused on while they were packing their clothes into backpacks was packing things like  _ rags _ and  _ toothbrushes, toothpaste _ . Those things that we would obviously need but that are so  _ easy _ to forget. 

Lucas called me at lunch like he said he would, but with some startling news. He’d told his family *Zay included of course* about the twins and I and they wanted to meet Peyton and Sabrina. This would be great if we had any time to plan for it; HOWEVER, Lucas’s father had purchased tickets for a flight  _ today _ ! As in  _ tonight _ . 

Which means that there’s no more delaying. It had to happen now. We had to tell them. We both knew it. So, in the five minutes of breathing time, Lucas and I sit the kids down on the couch and we tell them that we have something important to tell them. 

Lucas is holding my hand in his and I can see Peyton doing mental gymnastics to make sense of it. Sabrina giggles and hides behind Peyton, shyly popping out every once in a while to wave at Lucas. 

“Sabrina...Peyton...you know how mommy said that I was her good friend from school?” Lucas says, speaking very softly. The kids nod. “Well, do you guys like me? Do you like your mommy’s friend?” They nod rapidly and I can’t help but laugh. It’s an indirect approach, but it’s charming. 

“Mr. Lucas and I love each other very much and sometimes when people love each other they have kids,” I say. I can tell that they’re very confused by now as they watch Lucas and I expectantly with wide eyes. I extend my arms for them to come to us and they do, Peyton hopping on my lap and Sabrina climbing onto Lucas. “I want to introduce you to your dad.”

The kids gasp, babbling unintelligibly with excitement before falling silent with suspense. They stare at me. Lucas cuts in. “My name is Lucas Friar and I’m your dad,” Lucas says matter-of-factly. The kids turn to him in awe and smile so wide I don’t think I’ve ever seen such joy exude from them. They both throw their arms around him and hug him tight. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” They cheer. “Mr. Lucas is our daddy! Yay!”

Sabrina grins. “I knew he was our daddy,” she says. I feign shock. “Peyton looks like daddy and I look like you, mommy!” Peyton is crying and I can’t help but feel like this is a moment that we’ll want to remember forever. I snap a photo with my phone and wipe a single happy tear from my own cheek. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


By the time we get on the plane, the kids are out cold and Lucas and I are laden with all of their things. We put them in their seats and put our bags up in the overhead compartment. Today has been a bit of a mess. The epitome of when life gives you lemons. But when I see Sabrina’s little head resting against Lucas’s arm, I know that things would’ve been alright from the beginning if I’d only told him. But Lucas says the when doesn’t matter, and as I hold Peyton’s little hand, that’s the only thing that lets me fall asleep on the flight to Austin. 

* * *

The flight wasn’t very long from Massachusetts to Austin and the plane arrived sooner than we’d initially expected. Lucas rented a car at the airport and drove us to his father’s house. It was significantly larger than Pappy Joe’s Ranch with something like 30 acres of green grass and about a spanish style ranch of about 4,000 square feet. Much larger than my apartment in Massachusetts, anyway. The kids were in awe of all of the horses and cattle we passed on the way home. It made me wonder if maybe they’d like it down here. It was definitely a far cry from Massachusetts, but I’d fallen in love with Texas all the way back in highschool. 

Lucas is sweet with the kids, unsurprisingly. He stopped the car at a diner in the town and bought the kids ice cream. A young waitress in roller skates drifted over with the ice cream, placing them in front of the kids at the round thermoplastic picnic table. She smiled at them and said hello. Peyton and Sabrina waved back, shyly. The waitress glanced over at Lucas. “Oh my stars! Is that Lucas Friar?” I read her name tag.  _ Claire _ . 

“Claire! Why, I should’ve known I’d find you here!” Lucas said. He grinned. “You look just the same as you did in fourth grade!”

Claire pursed her lips. “God bless your heart. I see you’re still something like a comedian,” she muttered. Lucas laughed. Claire directed her attention to the children again. “What are these two little angels doing with a ruffian like Lucas Friar?” 

“Mr. Lucas is our daddy!” Peyton exclaimed, looking up at Lucas with something close to pride. Sabrina nodded rapidly in agreement. 

“See how Peyton looks just like ‘im,” Sabrina said, pointing up at Lucas’s face. I laughed and so did Claire. “He’s Mr. Lucas, but with mommy’s eyes!” Clair shifted her attention to me with a kind smile. 

“Hi there! I’m Claire Gerard! What’s your name?”

“I’m Maya Hart,” I said, shaking her extended hand. 

Claire leaned down and whispered. “Blink twice if you want me to call the sheriff.”

Everyone laughed before Claire said her goodbye and skated away to help other customers. Sabrina and Peyton passed out in the car from what I can only assume was an overstimulation and Lucas drove home with my hand in his the whole way. I found it funny how people remembered Lucas after all of these years. 

* * *

**POV:** Lucas

The lights are on in the house and I can see everyone through the window as we drive up. When the car slows to a halt, Peyton and Sabrina are suddenly fully awake and as animated as ever. Maya lets them out of their seats as I get the bags from the trunk and we watch them run up the stairs of the house. It almost feels like this is a normal day. Or maybe it feels like this is what every day should feel like. I like being the family man. I like having children and having a...Maya. Hell, she looks beautiful under the light of the Texan sky. I think she’d do well here. Then again, what’s a city girl doing in a prairie? 

Sabrina knocks on the door before Maya and I can get to it. “Hello? Hello?” Peyton stands behind her as if the towering man who opened the door would not see him in his sister’s shadow. Sabrina smiles broadly and extends her hand. “Hello! I’m Sabrina Friar! What’s your name?”

“I’m your grandpappy Joe!” Pappy Joe responds joyfully, scooping the two kids into his arms before stepping into the house with them. Maya grabs the kids’ bags to help me and we both stumble in after them. 

Everyone is there. My aunt Janis, my uncle Clyde, my Ma and my Pa. Everyone is reaching for the kids and asking them questions and inspecting everything from the color of their hair to their heights. They all want to sit next to them at the dinner table. 

Sabrina sat between Maya and I and Peyton sat to my right. Everyone was anxious to know more about them. They had infinite questions and, honestly, so did I. Everyone was looking at Maya that night as they asked about when she knew she was pregnant, when she had the kids, how she’d managed to run off all on her lonesome. 

What I learned was that on July 7th of 2017 I became the father of two beautiful twins, Sabrina and Peyton Friar. I learned that the love of my life loved me so much that she decided to have our children and that she thought she would be saving my career by running away with them. I also learned that she was doing her undergrad at Boston College and studying psychology all while being a full time mother. 

“I think it’s silly now, looking back at myself back then, that I had any sliver of a doubt in my mind that Lucas would be alright and that he would be a father,” Maya admitted. She smiled sadly, pinching Sabrina’s cheek playfully. “I’m sorry for all of the time I’ve stolen from you. You are their family and I’ve wronged you all.”

Everyone groaned. Pappy Joe waved his fork in the air as he finished chewing his food, eager to speak. Once he was done eating he grinned. “Oh please! We’re  _ all  _ family here! You included Miss Hart! The  _ when  _ doesn’t matter...  _ heck _ , the  _ why  _ doesn’t even matter! All that matters is that you’re here now!” He looked over at the kids. “And look at those there kids! Peyton’s a near duplicate of our Lukey and Sabrina is just as beautiful as her ma!”

Everyone agreed. I hadn’t known how the extended family would react to the news, but when I saw the tear slipping down Maya’s cheek as she smiled ever so slightly I knew that things couldn’t have possibly gone better. 

* * *

**POV: _Narrator_**

**June 4, 2020**

The fourth of July in Texas was extremely different for Maya and the kids that summer. For starters, the kids, having never been to Texas, were unaccustomed to the sight of cattle, horses, and cowboy hats. But for Maya, there was something about how thin the air felt in her lungs. Perhaps it was the heat of Texas on top of the clouds of smoke that drifted from grills and campfires to ward off the mosquitos. Maya still didn’t like campfires after all these years. 

On this fourth of July, Lucas decided to take the kids and Maya on a trip somewhere that meant a lot to him as a kid. Maya had been expecting a local park or perhaps another diner; however, when the car stopped and Maya saw a giant ring fence on the ground her heart plummeted and she sank in her seat. “I don’t want to go out there again.”

Lucas glanced over at her, reaching over and taking her hand in his. “Hey.” Maya met his eyes. “I’m here. It’s fine.” Lucas smirked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, “Don’t I look fine?”

Maya rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile back at him. and unclipped her seatbelt. “You’re cute Huckleberry,” she muttered. She leaned across the coffee holder, kissing Lucas on the cheek. “But you’re not  _ that  _ cute.” The kids laughed in the back seat as Lucas’s cheeks began to grow hot. 

  
...  
  


Maya stepped out of the car, holding Peyton’s hand. Though she liked to think that she was doing this because of his nerves, it was mainly due to her own. She hated being back at the pull ring. It reminded her of that day when Riley found out and Lucas fell off of the bull. Sure, he hadn’t died, but he hadn’t thought about what would happen if he did. 

“Mommy?” Maya looked down. Peyton frowned at her. “Are you okay, mommy?” he asked. She nodded quickly, scooping him from the ground and pelting him with kisses. He giggled and Maya felt her spirits raise ever so slightly. 

“I’m absolutely dandy, Randy!” Maya lied. “Wanna go get some candy apples?” She felt a sudden force to the back of her legs and looked back. Sabrina had wrapped her arms around her left leg. 

“I wanna get a candy apple, mommy! Please?”

Maya nodded. “Race you guys to the table!”

* * *

While Maya and the kids were at the concessions stand buying food, Lucas made his way over to the animals. There was Tombstone the Bull looking at him just the same way he had years earlier. Lucas could tell he recognized him. “Funny how I was so afraid of you back then...hated you before I even met you, and now I’m thanking you for everything that I have,” Lucas said. “That girl who I said scared me...well, she’s here with me now. She is the mother of my kids and I full and well plan to marry her, if she’ll have me...and that’s all because of you.”

Tombstone snorted and for a moment Lucas wondered if he understood what he was saying. He shook the thought from his mind. “Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I came here. If you even wonder. If anything, you’d probably be wondering how lonely a guy must be to stand here talking to the bull who almost killed him four years ago. Well, the reason I’m here is to thank you, but also to get some of that luck you seem to bring me in your own twisted way. Don’t worry, I’m not here to embarrass you again.”

A thought ran through Lucas’s head. It seemed like such a strange idea it just might work and it ran through Lucas’s head in something like a circle. He couldn’t wrap his mind around why, but he figured it was worth a try. Intercepting Maya and the kids and the concessions stand, Lucas proposed his idea. “Pen, let’s sign Peyton up for the mutton busting competition!”

“What’s mutton busting?” Sabrina asked.

“Mutton busting is where you ride a sheep for as long as you can without falling off.”

“Is that hard?” Sabrina asked. 

“Yes ma’am,” Lucas responded. “I couldn’t do it when I was your age.”

Peyton whimpered slightly, cowering behind Maya’s legs. “I don’t wanna.”

Lucas mussed his hair. “Why not buddy? I think you would be absolutely amazing at it.”

Maya shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she admitted. She tipped onto her toes to whisper in his ear. “ _ Are you trying to kill our son, Huckleberry! How the hell is he supposed to ride the sheep if you couldn’t?” _

“ _ I want to show him that he can do anything he puts his mind to!” _ Lucas whispered back. __

“ _ And what if he can’t?” _

_ “Then he knows that the world won’t end if he doesn’t succeed.” _

_ “And what if he falls and breaks something.” _

_ “Then I suppose he would get a cast and we would sign it.” _

Peyton rocked back and forth on his heels. “If I fall off the sheep, will you and mommy still be proud of me?”

Lucas nodded. “Of course, little man. We’re proud of you already. We always have been.” Peyton smiled, still evidently worried, and grabbed his father’s hand, allowing him to lead him away to the sign up.

* * *

There were a lot of kids riding the sheep that day. Cole Bocian, the record holder for longest time on the sheep, had practically been catapulted across the ring, Cynthia Dell fell off in less than three seconds, and James Rogers had been stepped on. Peyton was shaking in his spurs by the time his name was called and he’d just as soon laid eyes on the sheep as he’d sprinted to the concession stand and hid under the tablecloth, bawling his eyes out. 

Maya and Lucas hardly noticed when the announcer declared that Peyton was making his way onto the sheep. They turned and glanced over at the ring. There was someone on the sheep, but they were most certainly not Peyton. Maya glanced around and suddenly it occurred to her. 

“Sabrina!” she gasped. She seized Peyton and Lucas and bolted for the ring just as they opened the gate for Sabrina and the sheep. 

Off the sheep ran, bolting like its life depended on it as Sabrina rode on its back, clenching wool all the while. Everyone cheered as the time ran up and up. Even Maya found herself whooping as Sabrina surpassed the five second mark. “Just hold on, Bree!” she hollered. Peyton watched with wide eyes as he sat on Lucas’ shoulders with his mouth ajar. Then Sabrina fell off and just as quickly as her grip had begun to give Maya had hopped over the fence. Before Sabrina could so much as  _ blink  _ Maya was there. Lucas and Peyton came following immediately after. 

Sabrina grinned. “Did I do good?” she asked them. Lucas smiled wider than Maya had ever seen before as he pulled Sabrina to his chest in a tight bear hug, kissing her temple. He lifted her, one hand under each of her arms as if she were Simba, and rotated, showing her off to the cheering crowd. 

“That’s my daughter! Sabrina Friar!! Sabrina Friar has the new mutton busting record!”

Maya chuckled, leaving Peyton with Lucas and Sabrina as she went to retrieve her camera from the car. On the way she plowed into someone, nearly knowing them over. She apologized profusely, dusting herself off. 

“Is that your daughter in the ring?”

Maya looked up, meeting the man’s eyes. “Yes sir, that is my daughter.” She smiled.

“She looks just like you,” he said. 

“I pride myself in my strong genes,” Maya joked. The man laughed. 

“That accent. You’re not from these parts. Guess I should’ve figured,” the man admitted. He tipped his hat. “I’m Taylor Boulder. I actually used to have the record that mini blondie crushed by a mile.” He extended his hand. 

Maya reached out and shook his hand firmly. “Hi there, Taylor Boulder.”

Lucas hustled over, kids in tow as he wrapped his arm around Maya’s waist. He knew Taylor Boulder relatively well. He’d even been there for Taylor’s record setting mutton busting run. He’d beaten Lucas out for that, but Lucas got one over him later. He was the reason Lucas came to New York. “Taylor Boulder! Been a while, now hasn’t it? I see your nose healed up,” he said, an oddly menacing smile on his face. He playfully punched Taylor’s arm. “Meet my twins! This is my daughter Sabrina, who just broke your record, and my son Peyton. I see you’ve already met my wonderful wife Maya. We have somewhere to be, if you don’t mind, but nice seeing you around, partner.” 

And just like that, Lucas was dragging the entire to the car and strapping them all in. He muttered something incoherent beneath his death, clearly unsettled. Maya grinned. She had an idea what he was fussing over. “My WoNdErFuL WiFe, MaYa,” she said in her heavy Texas accent, just the way she used to in highschool. 

Lucas rolled his eyes and smiled, leaning over and pelted Maya’s face with kisses, making Peyton and Sabrina laugh as their mother pretended she didn’t like it. He hesitated before explaining. He was reluctant to admit his feelings in front of the kids, but even more so in front of Maya. He didn’t want to be  _ that  _ type of guy. “I just wanted to get out of there. I forced you to come here, anyway and Taylor Boulder...well, he is the reason I came to New York in the first place. He always had it out for Zay and I always had to protect Zay from him because Zay is my friend,” Lucas explained. He pursed his lips. 

“It’s fine! It’s whatever! That was  _ years  _ ago. Don’t you wanna go bobbing for apples?”

“No, we can find somewhere else that’s fun. We can bob for apples at the family farm, Pen.”

“Lucas, what’s wrong?” Maya inquired, rubbing his shoulder slowly. Lucas looked Maya in the eyes and he knew by the upward twitch of the corner of Maya’s mouth that his face had grown red. This only made him more embarrassed. He huffed petulantly. 

“I don’t know if you noticed, Maya, but you’re a beautiful woman. He was looking at you all types of ways and I was fixing to be banned from Texas. That’s something you can hang your hat on,” Lucas blurted, turning away to reverse out of the parking lot. 

Maya had no clue what that meant and the kids laughed at him, but Lucas held Maya’s hand for the entire car ride.

* * *


End file.
